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~*...middle child syndrome...*~

that 420 guy

TRIBE Member
middle child syndrome - fact or fiction?

i've often heard people referring to symptoms associated with being a middle child: loners, not belonging, fighting to receive attention.

a quick google search brought me to this definition of middle child syndrome.

The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things.

Being a middle child would mean they are loners. They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship, there fore they have trouble keeping one due to lack of interest. Not liking to take the limelight for anything, they are not over achievers and just simply work enough work to get by, and typically that goes with school as well as a career. They are however very artistic and creative. If forced to use abilities they will work well, but do not work well under pressure. They often start several projects but rarely keep focused long enough to finish a project. The best career move for a middle child would be along the lines of using their creative. Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good. Anything that would have hours that are flexible, and projects that frequently changed would be good for a middle born child. Since relationships are not of high importance to a middle child, often times they are alone. However, the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born.


i'm having a difficult time relating to some of the symptoms of being a middle child despite being the second born. my mother did lavish attention on my younger sister more than my brother and i, but she's the baby and the only girl. then again i'm not your average guy.

is middle child syndrome just a made up term to describe feelings of lonliness that all children feel at some point in their lives? or does it really exist?

there's no entry for middle child syndrome in wikipedia, so i guess it doesn't really exist ;)



~*...normaste...*~
 

VinylRach

TRIBE Promoter
I think its true for sure. I can say this on the internet because no one knows me but my sister is the middle child and she's one seriously fucked up kid. I think it actually has a lot to do with being the middle one.
 

Persephone

TRIBE Member
My younger brother (the middle one of three) fits that description to a tee. At least, that's my opinion. I'm sure that he'd have something to say about that. He'd most likely be angry that he was being labelled in such a way...but then again he seems to be angry about pretty much everything.
 

VinylRach

TRIBE Promoter
I find a lot of middle children have a lot of problems with identity and self esteem (genearlizing here Adrian) therefore creating that angry behaviour
 
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thom100

TRIBE Member
I'm also a middle child and don't find too much of that statement to be true- it reads like a horoscope to me. If you want to find yourself in there you can bend the words.
 

that 420 guy

TRIBE Member
Ditto Much said:
middle child, fuck I'm the fifth of five. Nobody remembers I even exist most years.
proof that the baby of the family doesn't always receive the most attention.

semper ubi sub ubi :p
 

Subsonic Chronic

TRIBE Member
I'm a middle child and I can't identify with *most* of the "typical" middle child traits.

The middle or second born child or children often have the sense of not belonging. - Sometimes, but there are other times were it's the complete opposite.

They fight to receive attention from parents and others because they feel many times they are being ignored or dubbed off as being the same as another sibling. - I can see this to a degree. You don't get all the priviledges that the first born gets and you don't get all the attention that the last born gets. Could oldest and youngest children come up with similar arguments? You bet.

Being in the middle a child can feel insecure. - You can say this about anyone at some point in time, and I haven't felt insecure in years.

The middle child often lacks drive and looks for direction from the first born child. - Only to a small degree, but it's natural to look to our older peers for direction and guidance, regardless of whether we're the middle child.

Sometimes a middle child feels out of place because they are not over achievers and like to go with the flow of things. - Quite the opposite.

Being a middle child would mean they are loners. They really don’t like to latch on to a person in a relationship, there fore they have trouble keeping one due to lack of interest. - not at all.

Not liking to take the limelight for anything, they are not over achievers and just simply work enough work to get by, and typically that goes with school as well as a career. - haha... as if anyone would believe me if I said I didn't enjoy the limelight every now and then. ;)
Although, the "work enough to get by" thing I can identify with. OK, we're 2 for 7.

If forced to use abilities they will work well, but do not work well under pressure. - nuh uh

They often start several projects but rarely keep focused long enough to finish a project. - I don't know about that one either.

The best career move for a middle child would be along the lines of using their creative. Going into a writing or journalism career, and into a career that they could freely express themselves would be good. - Well duh, almost everyone wants a career where they can be more creative and expressive.

Since relationships are not of high importance to a middle child, often times they are alone. However, the best possible match for a middle child would be a last born. - relationships not of high importance?! Well... I have been with a last-born for the past 5 years, so maybe they're on to something. But I'd rank matching people up by birth order just slightly ahead of matching people up based on their astrological symbol... so yeah.
 
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Amy_J

TRIBE Member
It's true to a degree. It's a stereotype now that the middle kid will have problems like is described there, but that's not true at all. There's lots of middle kids who do just as well, if not better, than their siblings and show no "symptoms" at all. A lot depends on the family dynamic growing up.

I fit that description pretty well, but my ish doesn't stem specifically from being the middle kid, it stems from having a fucked up family and clueless father.
 

Fillmore

TRIBE Member
I am a middle child as well. I found some of the article to reflect who I am. I am defintely not the loner type though haha.
 

JESuX

TRIBE Member
i think that the description that you posted, norm, is vaguely similar to the usual middle child syndrome i've heard described.

i'm the middle kid, and *definitely* used to consider myself the black sheep of the family... until my little sis stole the show by marrying a 29 year old toothless farmer at age 21 and moving to a farm house in brantford.

so... i win! right?


edit: what's your source on that article, norm? some of it was pretty poorly written...
 

AdRiaN

TRIBE Member
VinylRach said:
I find a lot of middle children have a lot of problems with identity and self esteem (genearlizing here Adrian) therefore creating that angry behaviour
Fuck off! You think you know me, bitch?!

:p
 
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Krzysiu

TRIBE Member
I'm the oldest, tallest and ultimately best child in my family.

I can also touch my elbows behind my back!
 

freshest1

TRIBE Member
VinylRach said:
I think its true for sure. I can say this on the internet because no one knows me but my sister is the middle child and she's one seriously fucked up kid. I think it actually has a lot to do with being the middle one.
Is she HOT?
 
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Bumbaclat

TRIBE Member
Krzysiu said:
I'm the oldest, tallest and ultimately best child in my family.

I can also touch my elbows behind my back!

ME TOO!

PS Jordan* when you stumble across this call me so we can have a laugh!


*Jordan is my brother, a heavy lurker.
 

Soulster

TRIBE Member
Stormshadow said:
Or because it's a retarded overgeneralization.

Birth order is one of many psychological constructs that were developed to explain individual differences in personality. Middle Child Syndrome comes from that theory. Yes, there are the very wide-ranging and general descriptions of what is a first child, middle child, third child, or second child (of two), etc. however it's important to note that proponents of this theory do believe that there are many mitigating factors that can slightly change/affect those generalities.

Still... it's interesting to read about (i think, anyway). Heres' more (though it's not very well written)...

From Wikipedia on Birth order

The phrase birth order refers to the order of birth. Children with siblings are "firstborn" or "laterborns". Alfred Adler noted how later borns vary depending on family size. Children with no siblings are "only children".
The influence of birth order is still an open issue, but some clear patterns have been established.
Personality is clearly and strongly influenced by birth order. Personality psychologists largely (though by no means without debate) agree that the Big five personality traits (also known as Five Factor) represent something like a natural taxonomy of human personality variables. Cross-linguistically the vast majority of adjectives used to describe human personality fit into one of the following five areas, easily remembered by the acronym OCEAN: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism. In his book "Born to rebel", and in ongoing research papers, Frank J. Sulloway has mounted evidence that birth order effects on the Big Five are strong and very consistent. Using a scale between bipolar adjective pairs (ex.: hard-working . . . . . . . lazy) and intrafamily ratings with tens of thousands of respondents Sulloway has shown firstborns to be more conscientious, more socially dominant, less agreeable, and less open to new ideas compared to later borns. In a cross-cultural replication of Sulloway's work anthropologist Paul Roach collected several hundred within-family ratings among horticulturalist Shuar Indians in Ecuadorian Amazonia and found nearly identical correlations between the Big Five and birth order among these nonwesternized people (conference presentation: HBES, 2002, Rutgers University).

Birth order and personality

Many claim that birth order influences personality. The realm of pop psychology often attributes the following traits to each order:

Firstborn
The first born child will receive the expectations of his or her parents. Because of this, many firstborns are in danger of acquiring perfectionistic or people-pleasing behaviors. On a more optimistic note, proponents of birth-order theory state that firstborns tend to be quite confident, diligent and mature. Not all firstborns are over-achievers, but even the most laid-back firstborn is clearly guided by a need to do the right thing and strives to make a difference in society. Firstborns can also become uncalm in hectic situations, and tend to "freak out" very easily.

Middleborn
Middleborn children have a diverse range of personalities. The habits of many middleborns are motivated by the fact that they have never been truly in the spotlight. The first-born always seems to be achieving and pioneering ahead, while the younger sibling is secure in his or her niche as the entertainer of the family. The middle born child may develop great social skills and have an easier time growing up with an other-centered point of view. The middle child knows what he or she is doing and tends to become very intelligent, in their strive to gain attention from siblings. Middle born children are usually quite talented, their strive for perfection against their siblings gains access to discover new and unlooked for qualities, musically, academically, and theoretically.

The Youngest
The name given to the youngest child is revealing: the youngest child of the family is viewed as the party animal, the entertainer who is unafraid to test his or her luck. While this is certainly not true of all youngest siblings, proponents of this theory state that the baby of the family is an endearing, delightful friend if not too self-centered.
 

Thumpr

TRIBE Member
Soulster said:
The Youngest
The name given to the youngest child is revealing: the youngest child of the family is viewed as the party animal, the entertainer who is unafraid to test his or her luck. While this is certainly not true of all youngest siblings, proponents of this theory state that the baby of the family is an endearing, delightful friend if not too self-centered.
a high percentage of funboys are last born, ask around.

it is not fully understood why.
 
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