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Maximising Your Hourly Wage - Hobo Edition

Bumbaclat

TRIBE Member
If you were homeless and ambitious what would you do to make the most money as possible? Funny sign? Dog? Wheelchair? What area of town? What age would you want to be? Mother of 3? War vet?

I would probably amputate something. People are always skeptical of a hobo with a crutch. My stump would get some serious coin.

Outline your strategy to be the most baller hobo sleeping in the park.
 
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ndrwrld

TRIBE Member
If you were homeless and ambitious what would you do to make the most money as possible? Funny sign? Dog? Wheelchair? What area of town? What age would you want to be? Mother of 3? War vet?

I would probably amputate something. People are always skeptical of a hobo with a crutch. My stump would get some serious coin.

Outline your strategy to be the most baller hobo sleeping in the park.
someone just lost their job.
 

Polymorph

TRIBE Member
I would do exactly what I just messaged to an Italian-girl facebook friend here:

"- dodido.. ok... a calculated response:
while during the past 2 years I have had some relative affluence (read: relative)....

during the years 2007-2008, my budget was so tight (read: I was poor), that, on due occasions, I would ride around on my bike and do the scavenger thing on the Plateau.
and given my general sense of taste and selection, I would estimate the retail value of all this stuff I found in the trash at around 20,000$, and given the resale value, (as I resold most of it because I needed the money), padded my yearly income with an extra 3500$.
and so, the Notes:
* The big cash cow is books, especially student textbooks. These Plateau students, they finish their courses, they move back to wherever, and they toss half their biblioteques in the recycling bin/trash. In one turn alone I found 5 texts of which were buybacks. Went to the McGill Bookstore the next day, walked out the door with 225$.

*The most expensive thing I ever found was a CND-made Italian-style leather jacket in perfect condition, retail 600$. I wear that on special occasions.

*The coolest thing I ever found was a 1987 Casio synthpop guitar (DG-10), which is a bit of a collectors item, and even TO artist LIGHTS has used it in a photo-op. (well, not mine, per se, but it's same damn guitar)

*I have not had to purchase some general goods like batteries and TANA protectors in over 4 years. (and for at least the next 4 years). And I still have large closet fully loaded with renovation supplies, because, apparently, nowadays, when people and contractors finish a reno-contract, they just toss whatever they don't use in the trash (and having worked in renovations, that's, like......uh, what?!!) In fact, I still have some nice expensive stuff in there that's waiting to be used.

*Fakes or Real, I have found stuff by Gucci, Louis Vuitton, Prada, and Armani. (all in excellent condition. I was very selective). Just ask EvaB, and La Boheme on St-Viateur.

*I kept a photo inventory for the 1st year. It's pretty wild. By the second year, I was getting too bored to do a photo-record.

*I'd estimate that 70% of my recent gorgeous apartment here has been furnished with stuff I found in the trash. (Not including Macs, musical equipment, and camera stuff)

I am enough *ArtSkool* to realize I was effecting a Reality Warp. ie: Well, if I'm so poor, how come I have so much stuff and always have cash in pocket, and am giving out random gifts to people I know?
*and I found that, while some people I know found it intensely fascinating, others, well it creeped them out and they totally hated it. (ie: how come I work so hard, and can't afford anything, and you just walk around finding stuff and it's like Whoo-hoo! Of course, it didn't help that I occasionally would try to instill in some of them the idea that they are trying to live up to the Impossible Expectations of all that shit that I found in the Trash. What? oh, yeah. Ridicule. Did not say I was totally devoid of *evil humour*.
...
*I did attend a clothing swap here this past May, dropped a bunch of (rather cool) bohemian women's clothing, got tickets in return for 15 items. Found 5 things which might be ok for me, gave the rest of my tickets to other people. It was like, whatever.

I was well aware that I was pulling a Flip-Script on consumer-culture values, one that ridiculed both the sentiments of the Rich, and the Poor.

Love it or hate it, but I really did have a lot of Fun.
Cheers"

2 which she responded:
"Very interesting - i used to scavenge myself, the i fell into the hedonestic treadmell kind of life when i started working in tv/advertising...have been going back to simple values the two or so (tv and advertising is a high paying but bull-shit industry) years and yes it is a more satisfying existence. do you happen to know my brother's thrift shop in the middle of nowhere called 'kitshy-koo'? he's on belanger near garnier and sells to all the hipster (nauseatingly over-priced) shops....he knows his shit. fb him if you want, if your looking for something he'll find it for you at low cost (sorry for the promotion, but hey, he's my bro;)- ****** - i'm curious ***, what do you do for a living - are you an artist yourself? best - giovanna "

In short, being borderline homeless scavenger scored me dates with relatively hot Italian girls.

and so, that's what I would do
 
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Polymorph

TRIBE Member
will someone, please, up the ante and live up to all the Impossible Expectations of all that shit I found in the Trash?
Seriously, be a Value-Added experience.
I'm still Waiting
 

Polymorph

TRIBE Member
Me: " I've noticed that I don't take my laptop out to cafes or whatever, because when I go out, I'm trying to get away from the damn thing."

to which Florence, my #1 favorite sweetie, responded:

"ahah. i tried me too. and...i'm still here . fuck that."

Me: "Prince (aka the Symbol Guy) once recently made another *flakey* comment: "The Internet is Dead". haha ya right. Except, these past months, I've been feeling that as well. Fuck "the social network" that reduces one's existance to a constant calvalcade of VR *scenery*. And holy crap man, Baudrillard was RIGHT!!!!"

Me: "btw, I feel the same way about fat people who drive their cars 3 blocks to go to the supermarche. FUCK YOU!"

les simulations c'est plus vrai que le vrai....
 

Maui

TRIBE Member
If I were homeless and ambitious, I would get a job... and then a home.

Yeah being homeless and ambitious don't really go hand in hand.

But I understand where the op is coming from. I like to think of what I would do if there were no jobs and no welfare.

My favourite homeless guy I've seen was a guy in L.A. who scares people by hiding behind a shrub he is holding and jumping out at passerby's.
It provides entertainment at least. The guy made some good coin doing that.
 

Ms. Fit

TRIBE Member
I'm not a hobo. I have a job. However, I do have hobo/scavenger-like tendencies.

Basically, my life rule of thumb is to pay for as little as possible.

I adopted this rule b/c I am naturally overly-generous (at the bar) and bad with money. Plus, I grew up poor so I feel less shame about these tendencies b/c I've been hustling forever.

I have some really embarrassing examples of how cheap I force myself to be:

*Having friends who work for a popular publishing companies means mountains of free books. Free books that you can turn around and sell to used bookstores - covering your cost of groceries for a week/month.

*I work at the corner of a popular intersection where there are constant free sample giveaways. Over the course of two days I think I once collected enough food samples for a week's worth of dinner.

*I stupidly lost my iPhone in a cab a few months ago. I bought a crappy POS phone, biding my time until the iPhone 4 and BB Torch came out and the gadget freaks start ditching last year's models. Thanks to a rich, lazy friend I know possess a gently used iPhone 3GS - I just have to pay to unlock it.

I can't believe I'm admitting this haha.
 
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Polymorph

TRIBE Member
*Having friends who work for a popular publishing companies means mountains of free books. Free books that you can turn around and sell to used bookstores - covering your cost of groceries for a week/month.

hey don't worry about it. I have a friend who's a music critic here and as such, gets tons of free cds, and he does the same damn thing.
 

Dirty Girl

TRIBE Member
Does anyone else think Poly was on meth when he posted in here?
If I was homeless and ambitious, i would become a crack dealer and pimp.
 
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