Male stripper for a roommate is a BAD IDEA

[Jeffsus]

It's 11am. In the AM.

Vague, dangerous memories are slowly floating back into my head. I'm not taking my medication today because it interferes with the slow easy buzz of alcohol, which, if I have anything to do with it, is on its way.

Looks like it snowed, might be cold outside, I'm not going fucking anywhere today.

The memories are coming back. The feel of tight skin draped over pectorals. Did I make some kind of arrangement with my roommate last night?

I think he got me at a time of weakness. Or maybe I got him in the same condition. Either way, I think I owe him a debt now, even though it was his tumescence emptying onto me.

The cops were here yesterday, I have his card. "constable", "central division"...

My new roommate is a male stripper. I drink heavily enough to be intellectually on par with Praktik.

If I were a normal person I would like, have a job, or do something productive. Instead, I'm digging through my pockets for cash and thinking of ways to wake up that 22 year old stripper boy in the bedroom across the house....

-jM
A&D

 

[Jeffsus]

The

0

-jM
A&D

 

[Bernnie Federko]

 

[Jeffsus]

Every once in a while, I wake up.

I don't even have any idea what day it is. Let me check.

Saturday. 6:45 in the AM. THE AM. again.

So whatever problem I had with the stripper boy was cleared up. I think he's a prostitute too. At any rate, I don't owe him any money, but...

I think it is prudent at this time to defer to MoFo....

I can't live in the same house with a boy who likes to get hard and put it in my hand or otherwise fandangle it in my face! That's just not civilised!

Saturday. My office is literally full of beer. WTF was I thinking? Nobody needs this much beer. I have the general suspicion I will get into it though. Gotta get Praktik level stupid before the sun comes up.

Which reminds me. Stripper boy is asleep somewhere in this house. What am I going to do when he wakes up?

To all of you who have not had the pleasure, I'd like to awaken the memory of drawing your hand across the delicately smooth skin of a young man's chest. Is there anything more silken?

The lot of you will have the rare privilege of watching me pray.

"Dear Jesus. Please don't let today be as much of a clusterfuck as yesterday. Also thank you for the stripper boy roommate."

-jM
A&D

 

[derek]

ever since hearing man parrish's male stripper in 87, every time someone says 'male stripper' or i read it, the song just pops into my head

[YOUTUBE]VpfFFvf_6og[/YOUTUBE]

 

[Jeffsus]

He's actually a very nice guy.

He is studying machining at Conestogo college, he's 21. And well, frankly, he likes to show off his junk.

He's on the borderline between handsome and cute... I guess cause he's so young. I really don't know what to do with him, he just, doesn't wear clothes.

I mean we have had fantastic conversations, but, he just sits there, cock and balls; sometimes I want to say "Hey Ron, maybe, just throwing this out there, clothes?"

I don't know what to do. I really have no idea what to do. Cause obviously I love a naked young guy walking around, but... WHAT?

Do straight people have this problem? He is straight. What do I do??

Jeff

 

[JamesM]

I got so Royally Blattered with friends last night. Woke up, and Liverpool is on TV. I strive to wake up and Keep drinking. I'm not entirely sure If I'd like to wake up with balls in my face.

Actually No.

the end. lol

 

[Aaron Bradley]

Lol!

 

[Jeffsus]

It is now noon. 12 am/pm.

The boy is still naked.

You know what, I am comfortable with that. His skin is very smooth, his erection is nice and humanley, whatever.

Girls, gay guys, you must think this is awesome but it's not. Penis' are not all they're cracked up to be MoFo, I'm sure your pilot is nice but...

I have $400 for a bus ticket to wherever you are to take a naked, very toned, 21 y/o male who will either suck your cock or give your pussy a nice massage m,whatever you want. Just get this boy out of my house PM me I'll pay the entire thing.

Jeff

 

[Jeffsus]

HEY BITCHES!

Yeah SCIENCE!

I brought another homeless person off the street.

I AM POPE FRANCIS OF ASSISI!

I will do my best not to molest him. I mean the last homeless guy turned out to be a male stripper. I can't change the world???

OK he just scared me again and is cleaning out the fridge.

MoFo! I need your help!

-jM
A&D

 

[JamesM]

I'm finally calling bullshit on you. You're probably some fat kid sitting at your 386SX PC, while playing Nintendo. while BBS the Sysop.

 

[derek]

he's not

 

[derek]

i won't vouch for or condone all he says but he sure keeps things interesting.

 

[JamesM]

I love Jeffsus as much as the next guy. But teeter tottering a bit of late. Same shit, different day.

And I will defend Praktik.

 

[Jeffsus]

Well James,

It is 8:30 am. IN THE AM. Again.

You've recently expressed doubt regarding the veracity of my narrative. I assure you, sadly for me, that it is all true.

And you're right, I have been drinking too much. I was doing a good job of quitting but... At least today I woke up and knew which day it is. Sunday.

And James, I am not a fat kid, in fact I happen to pull a lot of even straight guys. My name is Jeff, I party industrially, and when I sysop, I run telegard.

-jM
A&D

 

[Jeffsus]

Oh and PS Praktik is wrong, I'm right.

Jeff

 

[Jeffsus]

I got so Royally Blattered with friends last night. Woke up, and Liverpool is on TV. I strive to wake up and Keep drinking. I'm not entirely sure If I'd like to wake up with balls in my face.

Actually No.

the end. lol

James M, I'm drinking James Ready! At 8:45 am. in the AM!!

And Ron didn't put his balls in my face. He generally keeps his distance. Actually yesterday he made really tastey noodles.

Anyway, I am now out of beer. Do you want to come to my house and bring beer and we can watch Liverpool? Ron is in his room with a new GF so you don't have to see that. However, I guess it is a clothes optional house now so if you like to watch Liverpool naked and get drunk before 9am, I guess this is the house for you.

-jM
A&D

 

[greginhali]

Keep the dialog coming. Its the best read in town.

 

[Jeffsus]

No seriously, I am out of beer. And that $400 I had yesterday.

Does anyone wanna come over and bring me beer?

I need to find $40 without going outside. There's gotta be a way.

-jM
A&D

 

[JamesM]

James M, I'm drinking James Ready! At 8:45 am. in the AM!!

Anyway, I am now out of beer. Do you want to come to my house and bring beer and we can watch Liverpool? Ron is in his room with a new GF so you don't have to see that. However, I guess it is a clothes optional house now so if you like to watch Liverpool naked and get drunk before 9am, I guess this is the house for you.

-jM
A&D

Sounds good Dude. Cheers. I haven't even slept yet. Danny Tenaglia. Thank god there's beer in the Fridge.

 

[Jeffsus]

I was trying to get some sleep and then the stripper came into my room.

I'm getting used to the fact that he never wears any clothes.

So he starts looking at his paunch and says he's getting fat. So I took a good look at him, while he's checking out himself in my mirror.

He's got perfect iliac crests. Abs. If he thinks he's fat...

Then he pinches like a totally small bunch of skin and says he has to work that off.

So I get up and then he tells me I stink like booze. Yeah tell me something I don't know.

Whatever. Everyone was pretty when they were 21.

-jM
A&D

 

[Lojack]

and when I sysop, I run telegard.

+ 1 for Telegard!

 

[Jeffsus]

There are 40,000 students at UW. 50 of them are white. I have found the exact match for my make off jerk session today.

me> "$3000 to let me fuck you."
Chad> "no man where'd you get my number?"
me> "ok $2000 and just jerk off in front of me, and you can have free blow."
Chad> "What? Who are you?"
me> "I think $2000 is a very fair deal."
Chad> "I have NO idea who you are?"
me> "I'm your modelling agent."
Chad> "Georgi? Do you have a gig?"
me> "Ok $1000 and you have to be naked all night, entertain guests and people."

Then talks broke down and I found some guys from Montreal, and the coke deal isn't going too well right now either....

-jM
A&D