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long distance relationship record

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by xtollo, Aug 31, 2003.

  1. xtollo

    xtollo TRIBE Member

    I left my fucking girl (THE GIRL) in London, England. Now please tell me, is that some kind of a record for long distance. A 7 hour plane ride?

    Sidenote: I will see her again in 3 weeks, and then again come x-mas, this is crazy talk I realize that, but our relationship is pretty intense. Hands across the sea, lol!

    I'm hoping for some encouraging stories here, please! :(
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2003
  2. Eccentric (LRG)

    Eccentric (LRG) TRIBE Member

    I did an LD relationship for like a year and a half..... it wasn't 7 hours plane ride away but 3 hours car ride... so it counts.

    If you really want it, it'll work out hun! It just takes Patience and such.

    I don't see a problem with LD at all. I know alotta people who've done em and did a good job at it...

    This one couple I know got married after awhile and their whole relationship was LD... now they live together and have a baby and such.
    It worked out for them I'm sure it'll work out for you... not saying you want to get married or anything but you know what I mean :D

    Good luck and have patience, keep faith in the relationship, be strong all that good stuff..... it'll work out :)
  3. deep

    deep TRIBE Member

    2 years
  4. xtollo

    xtollo TRIBE Member

    shit, that's a long plane ride
  5. Eccentric (LRG)

    Eccentric (LRG) TRIBE Member

    The inflight movies will take your mind off it I'm sure !
  6. xtollo

    xtollo TRIBE Member

    heh, I was just poking fun at Deep's 2 year long plane ride. ;)
    (7 hours is easy peasy lemon squeasy)
  7. Eccentric (LRG)

    Eccentric (LRG) TRIBE Member

    Yea I figured that out but the 5 minute edit period and all. I just gave up heh.
  8. pr0nstar

    pr0nstar TRIBE Member

    1 year, 500 miles, 8hr drive, 2hr flight

  9. Eccentric (LRG)

    Eccentric (LRG) TRIBE Member

    why for the sad face?

    Honestly....... theres nothing wrong with Long Distance. Its just alotta hard work at times. The whole feelings of loneliness and what ever. But it all makes up for it when you see your partner waiting for you at the bus,train and plane station.

    I'd do it again.....

    But I'm a hopeless romantic tew.
  10. xtollo

    xtollo TRIBE Member

    lol I can see it now, this poor board is gonna hear me whine and whine about how much I miss her. :( Ahh good ol'Tribe, you're always there for me. yay!
  11. Eccentric (LRG)

    Eccentric (LRG) TRIBE Member

    I'm sure they will understand and if not.... oh well. Some of us do :)
  12. deep

    deep TRIBE Member

    About a day's worth of flying, what with stopovers and whatnot.

    On one hand, the times you do get together will be all that more meaningful and intense. Time flies by, really. Your life pretty much becomes centered around the times you get to see each other again. So from that perspective, it is pretty easy to deal with. It helps if you both have lots of stuff happening in your life to keep you otherwise occupied.

    On the other hand, do not underestimate the role of the seemingly insignificant day to day involvement in each other's lives that can only really happen when you're in close physical proximity to each other. Like just laying on the couch together, or being able to get together spontaneously and inexpensively. Even if feelings are strong, long distance relationships require considerably greater investments in time and money than close distance relationships. Knowing these challenges ahead of time means that you have an advantage in figuring out ways to overcome them.

    Make sure that you maintain contact as much as possible through the means you have available. Look for new and creative ways of interacting...plan trips together, surprise presents etc.

    If you guys are for real, I'd really reccomend thinking about closing the gap in distance at some point in the future (8-12 months). Eventually this will be the make or break issue...if your feelings for each other grow stronger and deeper over time you will both want to be closer than further apart.
    Last edited: Aug 31, 2003
  13. mcbee

    mcbee TRIBE Member

    xtollo, i believe nat (pyrovatie) bf lives in scotland....i think she is visiting right now. i'm sure she can sympathize with you.

    in fact, i can honestly say those in long distance relationships are faaaaaaar stronger than me. props to you! i certainly couldnt' do it.

  14. rubytuesday

    rubytuesday TRIBE Member

    My friend goes to Portugal every summer and met a guy when she was there before her final yr of high school.

    They are still going strong almost 2 yrs later.

    I think if you can afford a plane ticket every 6 mos or so it can work...I hate to think of the phone bills!
  15. stargurl*

    stargurl* TRIBE Member

    My sister and her husband are Mormons. For two years after high school, he went on his mission, and was assigned to the Philippines. Because of the rules that applied to missions at the time, she wasn't allowed to communicate with him in any way other than letters and occasional small packages.

    They made it through, got married last summer, and now their first child is on the way. Special circumstances though, for sure.
  16. kerouacdude

    kerouacdude TRIBE Member

    I had a 3.5 year relationship, entirely long-distance - while it started just within Ontario, it included my 6 month trip to Australia, and by the end she was in L.A. and I was here.
    LD relationships are the domain of the young and idealistic.
  17. Booty Bits

    Booty Bits TRIBE Member

    i've done the L.D.
    my take on it is that you need to have a realistic end in sight to make it work.
    by this i mean, if you and your gf don't have any future plans to live in the same area again, you should probably call it quits.
    but if you know that after shes done school/after your work term/after whatever the hell it is thats keeping you apart, that you'll be moving to be together, then it can work.

    it sounds oversimplistic, but i think its true.
  18. chooch

    chooch TRIBE Member

    From your post, xtollo, it sounds like you are both in a position to make the long distance thing work...as deep has mentioned, travelling to see each other is important as well as those suggestions of creative methods of communication that help bridge the gap of the miles.

    Currently dealing with similar issues of being interested in someone who is far away, (he is living in the UK too) however, with less the concrete plans of seeing each other anytime too soon, it appears that this will become a long distance friendship. :(

    Guess it boils down to you both, and if you are willing to transend the logical barrier of the distance by believing in your feelings and your future with each other, it can work for you. From the above posts of stargurl*, mcbee & rubytuesday, it is viable. :)

    All the best with this situation. :)
  19. xtollo

    xtollo TRIBE Member

    nice one.
  20. daddyiwantchocolate

    daddyiwantchocolate TRIBE Member

    I had several months with me in Africa and him in Norge. Then another year of not particularly long distance, but still a pain in the ass with me at uni, and him working in Toronto.
  21. jus me

    jus me TRIBE Member

    Deep and Booty Bits touched on a very important factor in a successful LD relationship.

    You must see an end in sight, a point where both of you will reunite. Either she moves here, or you move there to be with each other.

    Without that, there will be many troubles.

    If you don't see it as being the love of your life and willing to do that, you might as well become good friends.
  22. Pyrovitae

    Pyrovitae TRIBE Member

    hehe, i did a search on 'long distance' to see if i can cut down on my phone bill, and i found this thread. : )

    yup, i was in the uk visiting the bf. he was born in scotland, currently lives outside of london. we met in april and have been together (although seperated by an ocean,) ever since. the next time i'll see him is in november - he booked his flight to toronto two hours after he dropped me off at the airport. after that the next time i see him is at christmas, when i go there.

    it's challenging trying to maintain a long distance relationship. it does help that we're both busy - he works a lot, and i have work and school.

    as a few people have mentioned it's good to be creative. owen takes lots of pictures and sends them to me, and i do the same, so it feels as if we're experiencing the other person's life to a certain extent. for our birthdays (we're seperated by a year and a day,) he sent me a package and a gift certificate and i sent him stuff from dvd.co.uk and amazon. we talk on the phone a few times a week and msn messenger and e-mail is a godsend.

    although we've had some amazing 'dates' - rome, edinburgh, glasgow, london, toronto, and we're going to barcelona over christmas break - the very best times we've had together are doing normal 'couple' things. i don't underestimate the value now of a walk in the park, getting take out and renting a movie, or going grocery shopping and cooking dinner together.

    we've imposed a timeline on our relationship - in september 2004 we'll be in the same country, either he'll be in canada going to uni or i'll be in the uk on a two year work visa. that makes it easier to deal with the distance, knowing that there's a tangible goal at the end of it. he's worth the wait.

    i think it's sheer idealism, but love is an inexplicable and often idealistic emotion. i'm happy with the way things are even though it's often frustrating. i've found someone who i think i can spend the rest of my life with so a 12 month hiatus is little more than an inconvenience.

    good luck, xtollo.
  23. squirrely

    squirrely TRIBE Member


    this was the point i was gonna make.
  24. Agatka8

    Agatka8 TRIBE Member

    I wish I could tell you that it’s going to be easy ...
    but to be perfectly honest, my long distance relationship, is the hardest thing that I have ever done.

    It's a true challenge of the heart, mind and will.

    Rocky and I both spent countless times flipping through photos....
    He left Canada over 12 months ago…and it looks like he’ll be away until next summer.

    To keep our friendship together, AOL messenger is our tool of choice, along with digital cameras, scanners and a webcam.
    We swap music, we talk on a regular basis....but it's tough.
    I went to Taipei in February and Rocky came to Canada for 6weeks this summer.
    I think that helped me a lot…but sometimes I feel really sad…

    I don’t know why but I found that running hard and doing pushups really helped me to overcome moments of overwhelming emotions.
    Keeping busy is really important, to keep sane (as mentioned above).

    As hard as it is, I do feel that this long distance thing has a purpose....whether it's personal growth or finding the limits of your own character....the good thing is that in the end, you will know yourself much better, and that's worthy goal in it’s self.

    They say easy come easy go.
    I believe that.
  25. xtollo

    xtollo TRIBE Member

    Things are going great, thanks for the advice everyone!

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