Just Got Dumped - What do you want to hear?

[skyparty]

I don't understand people who take Cheaters back. Sure, when I was with a guy I knew was wrong for me- I did it (once) but then moved on from losers, grew up and got over it. I was also a lot younger than I am now.

I know a girl who just got engaged after 7 years, and he's cheated on her so many fucking times I wonder why she still pretends they're "so much more in love then ever". She pays for everything, and the guy is a bum job wise. He doesn't really keep them. He's had drug problems and he's raped one girl I know, and sexually assaulted another. She says it's all lies. All that BS and "he's grown up so much" she says.

Girl is a dumb idiot.

another friend of mine has caught her man in bed with a girl saying "so, are you gonna fuck me or what?" and discovered he cheated on with another broad- yet took him back because he promised to "get counselling" and she says "that's big of him".

We're 30+ here people. Wtf? I was so young when I let a guy cheat on me. People need to learn that they deserve better, and stop making excuses for their s/o because they "love him!"

 

[~decepticon~]

 

[ila]

"You're a moron"

She says some crazy shit to people. Claw should come over to watch. I know she'd love it

 

[praktik]

I don't understand people who take Cheaters back. Sure, when I was with a guy I knew was wrong for me- I did it (once) but then moved on from losers, grew up and got over it. I was also a lot younger than I am now.

I know a girl who just got engaged after 7 years, and he's cheated on her so many fucking times I wonder why she still pretends they're "so much more in love then ever". She pays for everything, and the guy is a bum job wise. He doesn't really keep them. He's had drug problems and he's raped one girl I know, and sexually assaulted another. She says it's all lies. All that BS and "he's grown up so much" she says.

Girl is a dumb idiot.

another friend of mine has caught her man in bed with a girl saying "so, are you gonna fuck me or what?" and discovered he cheated on with another broad- yet took him back because he promised to "get counselling" and she says "that's big of him".

We're 30+ here people. Wtf? I was so young when I let a guy cheat on me. People need to learn that they deserve better, and stop making excuses for their s/o because they "love him!"

I totally think there are rare outliers where taking someone back might make sense. Not ready to agree to an ironclad rule that in all cases a breakup is necessary, especially if children are involved.

That being said I largely agree with you and think that maybe the best thing to do is give cheaters a scarlet letter, like a tattoo on their foreheads.

Then they can easily spot each other and start relationships with each other, leaving the non-cheaters a reliable pool of possible partners to pick from..

 

[rubytuesday]

People can forgive different things. There's this thing called context that makes it hard to have black and white rules about complex relationship stuff.

 

[tripleup]

One of my best friends has just broken up with her very longterm bf.

He wanted to take a break (conveniently right when he's just moved out into his own place, she was supposed to move in any day now) and stay best friends but she said either they break up fully or they work things out properly, together.

Similar situation happened to my little sister last yr.

She had been dating a guy for almost a yr and decided to take the next step of moving in together. Her roomie was moving out and things were looking like a perfect setup of timing as he was doing his firefighter course and just about to finish and needed a place in town as well.

On moving day, I'm there with my truck, and no Dan. My sister calls, and it's straight to voicemail.

I figured something was up so I tracked down the co-worker of my sister that introduced them, who reveals the asshole was married.

This sack of shit had dinner with my parents and spent half the holidays with us (as my mom recovered from cancer & my dad major surgery), and also committed credit card fraud by using her card to book their weekend trip two weeks prior to going mia.

The consoling period was not a fun one.

 

[skyparty]

People can forgive different things. There's this thing called context that makes it hard to have black and white rules about complex relationship stuff.

You're right- "people can forgive different things"

Ex: forgiving someone for covering up their spending habits vs trying to forgive them for sleeping with someone else is totally different.

 

[ila]

I figured something was up so I tracked down the co-worker of my sister that introduced them, who reveals the asshole was married.

whaaaaaaaaaat?!

what's the protocol on this when there's a wife and no kids? tell the wife? send her an anonymous letter?

I don't think that's out of line when he stands you up like that (and obviously no kids are involved).

 

[tripleup]

whaaaaaaaaaat?!

what's the protocol on this when there's a wife and no kids? tell the wife? send her an anonymous letter?

I don't think that's out of line when he stands you up like that (and obviously no kids are involved).

He had a farm about 30 minutes away.

I had friends working @ the college he attended, got his home address, and paid a visit.

 

[ila]

Good.

What a moron. I don't understand the risks cheaters take. I mean, they seem self-destructive on a delusional level.

 

[peko]

He had a farm about 30 minutes away.

I had friends working @ the college he attended, got his home address, and paid a visit.

omg - why wouldn't the friend who did the intro mention that the dude was married right from the beginning?!

i hope someone told his wife too. and, your sister nailed him with the credit card fraud!

lol, i knew a cheater who also aspired to be a fire fighter.... nice guy, no confidence and the chick he cheated with ended up cheating on him too.

 

[peko]

Good.

What a moron. I don't understand the risks cheaters take. I mean, they seem self-destructive on a delusional level.

they're self destructive and high risk on many different levels.

 

[tripleup]

omg - why wouldn't the friend who did the intro mention that the dude was married right from the beginning?!

i hope someone told his wife too. and, your sister nailed him with the credit card fraud!

lol, i knew a cheater who also aspired to be a fire fighter.... nice guy, no confidence and the chick he cheated with ended up cheating on him too.

Oh, the asshole co-worker took a combination of "don't want to get involved" with "can't rat on a bro" approach.

The wife found out, and the money was recouped, both as a result of my personal "visit".

First, I threatened to tell his wife if he didn't pay my sister back (he was dependant on her income for school).

Once he paid up (it was only a little over $400 bucks, but it was $$$ my sister didn't have) I of course told her anyway.

He came after me for that, but that didn't end up too well for him either.

 

[NemIsis]

She had been dating a guy for almost a yr and decided to take the next step of moving in together. Her roomie was moving out and things were looking like a perfect setup of timing as he was doing his firefighter course and just about to finish and needed a place in town as well.

On moving day, I'm there with my truck, and no Dan. My sister calls, and it's straight to voicemail.

I figured something was up so I tracked down the co-worker of my sister that introduced them, who reveals the asshole was married.

This sack of shit had dinner with my parents and spent half the holidays with us (as my mom recovered from cancer & my dad major surgery), and also committed credit card fraud by using her card to book their weekend trip two weeks prior to going mia.

The consoling period was not a fun one.

Jesus Christ. Loser got was coming to him. What an asshole!

 

[Booty Bits]

Oh, the asshole co-worker took a combination of "don't want to get involved" with "can't rat on a bro" approach.

The wife found out, and the money was recouped, both as a result of my personal "visit".

First, I threatened to tell his wife if he didn't pay my sister back (he was dependant on her income for school).

Once he paid up (it was only a little over $400 bucks, but it was $$$ my sister didn't have) I of course told her anyway.

He came after me for that, but that didn't end up too well for him either.

awesome. ah sweet, sweet justice!

 

[peko]

awesome. ah sweet, sweet justice!

X2

what a good brother!

 

[[SQUARE]]

Similar situation happened to my little sister last yr.

She had been dating a guy for almost a yr and decided to take the next step of moving in together. Her roomie was moving out and things were looking like a perfect setup of timing as he was doing his firefighter course and just about to finish and needed a place in town as well.

On moving day, I'm there with my truck, and no Dan. My sister calls, and it's straight to voicemail.

I figured something was up so I tracked down the co-worker of my sister that introduced them, who reveals the asshole was married.

This sack of shit had dinner with my parents and spent half the holidays with us (as my mom recovered from cancer & my dad major surgery), and also committed credit card fraud by using her card to book their weekend trip two weeks prior to going mia.

The consoling period was not a fun one.

The fire fighter course should have been a red flag. I have a lot of fire fighter friends and acquaintances and I have learned much valuable info including - don't get into a serious relationship with a fire fighter. Sucks that she had to find out the hard way.

 

[rubytuesday]

I would have thought that about firefighters too until I met my bf's brother in law. He's the sweetest, most family-oriented and loyal man. Maybe he's an anomaly? I hope not though because my best friend is in a relationship with a firefighter and he seems pretty solid.

 

[rubytuesday]

Oh and in my dumped friend's news, her ex has called her a million times, to tell her really important things like: he had a bad dream, he can't find a teddy bear, he wants to buy her a late christmas gift. It also sounds like he hasn't told his family yet so she had his parents call her to ask her why she hasn't been around lately. What an asshole.

 

[LeoGirl]

The fire fighter course should have been a red flag. I have a lot of fire fighter friends and acquaintances and I have learned much valuable info including - don't get into a serious relationship with a fire fighter. Sucks that she had to find out the hard way.

really? oh kay!!! um... I know a few fire fighters myself and they're all pretty decent people. Dedicated, hard workers, loyal, generally would give you the shirt of their back. The only thing that might be percieved as a negative would be that the ones I know drink like fish.

 

[ila]

Updates!

so it went alright.

what I did was divert her attention away from the break up and then talk about other shit to make her laugh because she was really, really aggro when we were talking about the dude who dumped her and I couldn't handle it.

so basically, there were no tears, just mega amounts of bitchiness and personal attacks hurled at me and pretty much everyone else in her life. totally didn't see that coming. thanks for nothing, a-holes!!

I kid.

but yeah, beware of the volatile friend who just got dumped. I think at one point she even said my mother was a whore.

k seriously. wtf is wrong with your friends?

Really? I wouldn't. I'm coming over to help someone, I'd prefer them to need my help, not call my mother a whore (or lash out at me otherwise)! That's not really within the reasonable range of resulting emotions to be doled out to friends IMO.

Also, there's a pretty big difference being a crying sack of upsetedness versus seeking the Oprah/sunshine lollipop route (as has been evidenced already up in this piece).

Anyone arming themselves with some of the pap in this thread would find themselves greeted with a serious case of the rolleyes if I were in this sitch.

Sorry, was just reading back through this thread for some reason. I had my head up my ass with this friend. DIWC and Booty Bits were totally talking sense. I sound like the abused component of an abusive relationship, all making excuses for the person hurting me.

Yah, she sucked pretty hard. Holy shit. You guys were totally right.

 

[Booty Bits]

THANK YOU! i seem to recall people jumping down my throat in this thread, but i am glad to see that you realized you were not being treated properly!

 

[ila]

Yah. My bad! You were totally right

 

[danielablau]

Ali!

 

[ila]

Daniel!