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*Jokes Sans Punchlines*


TRIBE Member
Match em up.

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket, where she selected a quart of
milk, a carton of eggs, juice, and a pack of bacon. As she was unloading
her items on the conveyer belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her,
watched as she placed her items in front of the cashier.
The drunk said "You must be single."
The women a little startled, looked at the four items on the belt, and
seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections said,

"Well, y'know, that's right, but how on earth did you know that?"

The drunk said,
Alex D. from TRIBE on Utility Room


TRIBE Member
That was obvious.. but don't put em here.. you gotta go to the other thread to find em..

the ultimate in Elepantcrastination.

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TRIBE Member
james bond gets into his brand new lotus esprit turbo...fully loaded with lots of gadgets...q sits down beside him to go over some of these latest features...

q: "james this button marked a is for rocket launchers...top of the line, pentagon approved, this button marked b is for an oil slick, saudi oil, no car will be able to continue the chase..., this button marked c is front end maximum power machine guns...blow anything to smithereens in a matter of seconds..."

now james being the inquisitive type couldn't help but notice the green button...

james: "q what is this little button"
q: **almost having a heart attack**"james whatever you do don't push the green button, just remember, never, ever, ever, never, ever touch the green button..."

so off goes james doing things only double oh 7 does...hes driving along minding his own business...a helicopter drops down from overhead and starts firing at his brand new lotus esprit turbo...james reacting instinctively presses the a button launching pentagon approved rockets at the hapless helicopter...blowing it out of the sky...wow, not bad james thought to himself...

a few minutes later james is driving along & is pursued by a car, with only the evilest of intentions...james quickly presses button B & the car with the evilest intentions goes off the road...once again james is feeling really good about this new technology...

of course in 007 world you can never rest easy...a motorcycle scoots in front of james & the passenger turns around with a machine gun pointing right at him...james without thinking presses button C & kapowee, the motorcycle is obliterated...

james continues driving...unknown to james a car is quickly speeding along a road which unbeknownst to our hero intersects a few kilometres further with the road our hero is driving along...faster & faster, closer & closer, closer & closer, faster & faster, closer & closer, at the last minute as the cars are about to collide what do you think james does?

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Evil Dynovac

TRIBE Member
Someone better tell me what happens to James Bond. I haven't seen this one yet and it sounds really good!

Punchline: ... So I pulled down her pants and I fucked her like a straight up bitch, and now my grandma won't even look at me...