Is there someone out there for me?

[The Watcher]

Is a question I often ask myself.

You know, someone who is the perfect match? Someone who could love me as much as I could love them. The perfect symbiotic relationship?

I dont know, I find it hard to believe, but there is hope right?

Not that I'm looking right now, which is great, but I'm always thinking... who is the one... where is she? When will I meet her?
Or do I already know her?

-Nick

 

[Bumbaclat]

that's a mighty big question.

Bumbaclat <-- no comment

 

[Klubmasta Will]

depends on whether you named yourself after uatu or the keanu reeves character.

 

[Libradragon]

it's when you stop looking, that they end up right in front of your face.

My friends are just all too damned terrific for me to miss anyone in my life, really. Of course, it's not the same, but for now - it'll do.

 

[The Watcher]

S'ok

I'm not in a hurry or anything,... I just wonder sometimes.

Has anyone met their perfect match?

I though I did at one point in my life, and I lived in total Extasy for an extended period of time, but I guess it was not ment to be then, cause it ended.

-Nick -

 

[Libradragon]

i think it's easy to think "oh wow! this person is so freaking perfect for me!" when you first meet them, or even in the first year or two of being with them.

It's finding the person that will grow in the same direction as you, year after year, that's the tricky part.

 

[BigBadBaldy]

Originally posted by Libradragon
i think it's easy to think "oh wow! this person is so freaking perfect for me!" when you first meet them, or even in the first year or two of being with them.

It's finding the person that will grow in the same direction as you, year after year, that's the tricky part.

Well, and succinctly, put.

BBB.

I couldn't agree more.

 

[echo]

I think there is more than one...

I don't believe in ONE perfect match for each person.

Instead I believe there are MANY perfect matches for you out there.

Often it can depend on timing....this person might be a good match for you at this point in your life whereas that person was a good match for you two years ago.

I think too many people focus on finding that ONE "perfect match"....all the while missing out on what can be learned from each "match" along the way.

Some individuals eventually find one person that they are happy to spend the rest of their life with....while other's are better off sharing their life with many.

echo<-----is pretty damn happy with her "perfect match"

 

[AdamAnt]

This question is way too serious for Tribe.

 

[Bumbaclat]

Re: I think there is more than one...

Originally posted by echo
Instead I believe there are MANY perfect matches for you out there.

I agree 100%.

Bumbaclat

 

[PosTMOd]

I met my perfect person just over two years ago. We met because of this very message board.

We were going to just meet for coffee, ended up talking non-stop for 8 hours, and then [edited for pornographic content].

We fit together like two pieces of a jigsaw puzzle, complementing each other almost perfectly. We are so comfortable with each other... she makes me smile at least once a day... we are still individuals, ourselves, yet we are like one unit... it's a thing I didn't know existed...

Thank you tribe. Thank you alexd.

 

[tobywan]

I feel that there's never a perfect match for anyone "on paper"....but spritually and emotionally, there may be many "matches".

And like LibraD said, it's when you're least expecting it that all of a suddern, outta nowhere, that person appears

Bias

 

[Skipper]

My current match was found in line at Kool Haus last October when I went to hear Tiesto. It really is true.....once you stop looking, someone amazing comes into your life. I'm not sure if he's "perfect" or the "one" but it feels pretty damn perfect right now.

Whether that shall continue to be the case.....time will tell. I guess after being single for two years, I realized I needed to stop looking and just let shit happen as it is meant to happen. And that it did.

 

[The Magical White Isle]

I've been contemplating that same question as of late.....

My view isn't so much so IS there a perfect match, it is HOW do you find that perfect match. Since leaving school and working ridiculous hours, I just find that there isn't any time any more to meet tons and tons of people, to any level in which you can truly assess their merits as a 'perfect match'. (similar to how you would in university when you have a lot of time on your hands and are surronded and meet women and men of the same age group and stage of life)

Sure you date and what not, but I think many would agree that you can cross people off as being the 'perfect match' pretty quickly. For me, it only takes a few minutes/times speaking to someone and I quickly have gaged my interest.

I hope that one day that person just appears like LibraD says, and smacks me in the face, so to speak. Tough to be that optimistic when it practically never happens or is heard of. How many times do you see people (guys or girls) that you just think 'damn', but that nothing ever happens or no 'looks' are exchanged. Realistically, am I going to meet my future wife on the subway one day when she bumps into me while I read the ROB in the morning? It would make for a great fairy tail story, but I doubt that it would happen.

However strangely enough, the thought of potentially meeting that special person, is a hope I keep within whenver I go out, walk the streets, party etc.

Maybe I am just a sappy, romantic at heart.

One love,
T

 

[Libradragon]

Originally posted by The Magical White Isle

I hope that one day that person just appears like LibraD says, and smacks me in the face, so to speak. Tough to be that optimistic when it practically never happens or is heard of. How many times do you see people (guys or girls) that you just think 'damn', but that nothing ever happens or no 'looks' are exchanged. Realistically, am I going to meet my future wife on the subway one day when she bumps into me while I read the ROB in the morning? It would make for a great fairy tail story, but I doubt that it would happen.

that's not how you meet your perfect match anyways, maybe a perfect booty call/lust partner, but not necessarily your perfect match.

It takes time, and a lot of *getting-to-know-each-other*, before one truly realizes one's compatibility with another.

Those instant sparks flying/love-at-first sight scenarios, they're usually good for a month or two of mindblowing sex. It's fleeting.

 

[tella]

what's even more frustrating than not being able to "find your supposed "perfect" match is finding them..and not being able to be with them. has to be one of the most frustrating things in the world.

 

[Libradragon]

Originally posted by tella
what's even more frustrating than not being able to "find your supposed "perfect" match is finding them..and not being able to be with them. has to be one of the most frustrating things in the world.

i know what you mean, tella.

i try to make myself feel better by thinking it can't be THAT perfect if we can't be together.

 

[kurtz]

The idea of soulmates is meaningless, unless of course you believe in that stuff

But the only two constants I think in relationships are conversation and trust... and it doesnt mean they have to be good

 

[BigBadBaldy]

Originally posted by tella
what's even more frustrating than not being able to "find your supposed "perfect" match is finding them..and not being able to be with them. has to be one of the most frustrating things in the world.

How would you know they were your "perfect match", if you hadn't experienced seeing the side of them that only being in an intimate one-on-one relationship can provide you with?

BBB.

Wondering.

I will agree with you that being crazy in love with someone whom for one reason or another you can't be with is maddening. One of the worst feelings..

 

[Heinz57]

stop looking out to the world to find gratification.... look inside yourself and make yourself the perfect person that you want to be.... make yourself a good person... love yourself.. when you love yourself, people notice, and people start giving a fuck about you... and you just feel better, and not getting laid doesn't bother you.... which is probably why you would have a higher chance of getting laid...

i dunno... i'm rambling

 

[The Watcher]

Originally posted by tella
what's even more frustrating than not being able to "find your supposed "perfect" match is finding them..and not being able to be with them. has to be one of the most frustrating things in the world.

Hahah, I know what you mean.

Time and time again I meet girls/women who seem to fit so nice with who I am, and we get along great, have everything in common, but she is already in a relationship.

All the good ones are taken, and I am not the type to try and brake things up or even suggest it. But that's ok.

I'm actually really comfortable being alone right now, but I just wonder all the time. I'm not looking, but I am keeping my mind open.

I find myself lusting for certain people here and there, but it's not necessarily a spiritual connection as it is a physical one... I know it is wrong, but I'm a guy, and I have urges you know.

I'd like to find my someone, and be with her, cause I have a lot of love to give, and I feel like it is wasted sometimes which is always a frustration.

I dont need the physical aspect as much as I need the emotional one most of the time. I love to love, I love to share, and I love to give, I just dont have anyone to do these things to.

But I guess I am on a journey to find myself, sometimes I think I totally understand everything about me, and I feel really happy about being me, but then there is that little part of me that is missing, and I'd like to find it. I think maybe it is my better half that is missing. But who knows, maybe I'm not done finding myself.

I just love to love,
Nick

 

[The Magical White Isle]

Originally posted by Libradragon


that's not how you meet your perfect match anyways, maybe a perfect booty call/lust partner, but not necessarily your perfect match.

It takes time, and a lot of *getting-to-know-each-other*, before one truly realizes one's compatibility with another.

Those instant sparks flying/love-at-first sight scenarios, they're usually good for a month or two of mindblowing sex. It's fleeting.

Maybe that's what I want

Kidding.

I do agree, yet disagree to a certain extent. You may have misunderstood me a bit. Everyone has certain things that they look for in a mate. I happen to find those things out very quickly. And yes, it does take a lot of getting to know someone time, you can probably segment people into these categories (this being a very simple example)

1) Not interested at all. (be it personality, looks or otherwise)
2) Attractive, nice, sweet, blah blah, I am interested (to a certain extent)
3) Holy shit/wow!

To put people in these categories takes very little time for me. Yes to actually KNOW someone is a match takes a hell of a lot of time, time which is relatively scarce (for me at least).

Maybe I am not ready to find that someone. Maybe I am too wrapped up in my work, family, friends and social life to actually slow things down in life to actually get to know some of the people that I meet on a daily basis. But if they don't 'pass' the minimum things I want/look for right away chances (and I say chances) are they never will.

If I look at my ex gf, of 3.5 years, sure the first time I saw her I didn't think she'll be mine for the next 3.5 years. However, I did think to myself wow, there is something about that girl. At first I thought she was a hot, nice yet stuck up & bratty bitch and it wasn't until I became friends with her that I realized how unbelievable a person she was and that she had many of the traits/characteristics I want in my wife.

But yes generally speaking and for the most part, booty calls are nice and welcome

T

 

[The Magical White Isle]

Originally posted by The Watcher


Hahah, I know what you mean.

Time and time again I meet girls/women who seem to fit so nice with who I am, and we get along great, have everything in common, but she is already in a relationship.

All the good ones are taken, and I am not the type to try and brake things up or even suggest it. But that's ok.

I'm actually really comfortable being alone right now, but I just wonder all the time. I'm not looking, but I am keeping my mind open.

I find myself lusting for certain people here and there, but it's not necessarily a spiritual connection as it is a physical one... I know it is wrong, but I'm a guy, and I have urges you know.

I'd like to find my someone, and be with her, cause I have a lot of love to give, and I feel like it is wasted sometimes which is always a frustration.

I dont need the physical aspect as much as I need the emotional one most of the time. I love to love, I love to share, and I love to give, I just dont have anyone to do these things to.

But I guess I am on a journey to find myself, sometimes I think I totally understand everything about me, and I feel really happy about being me, but then there is that little part of me that is missing, and I'd like to find it. I think maybe it is my better half that is missing. But who knows, maybe I'm not done finding myself.

I just love to love,
Nick

Well said Nick, very well said.

I know exactly where you are coming from and what you are saying.

I have said it out loud many times as well that being alone isn't what bothers me, it's more of an opportunity cost thing. Time, (as I said it was scarce) feels like it is being wasted. I know what it is like to have a connection with someone. To wake up and look in someone's eyes and just be happy THEY are next to you. To have someone look back at you and feel safe with you, respect you, want you and love you just as much.

I know what it is like to know that you can offer the world to someone, you want to offer it, you can offer it, you know about all the adventures that you can have within it, but you have no one to offer it to or to share the experiences with. That is where the frustration lies and stems from. No one to share what this beautiful life can offer, because it is more fun when you have a 'partner in crime'.

Seems like we both have lots of love to give, hopefully we'll be able to give it to someone who is worthy of it soon. Giving it to someone who isn't isn't worth either of our time.

I think you know yourself already, as I feel I know myself. Be happy, be proud, don't comprimise your integrity or what you want. You'll be happier in the end if you don't. Last thing you'd want is a relationship where you aren't completely exstatic, because it is easy to get comfortable and content, moreso as time goes on.

I don't know if you feel the same, but meaningless sex is just that. Meaningless. Once in a while, it's fun and cool, especially when there is an animal attraction/lust. But at the end of the day, the sex is a million times better when you actually don't feel like you want to say to that person 'get the fuck out of my bed/room/house'.

I'll revert to an earlier comment in saying maybe "I am just a suck at heart". My ex girlfriend used to tell me that all the time.

One love,
Thierry

 

[tella]

Originally posted by BigBadBaldy


How would you know they were your "perfect match", if you hadn't experienced seeing the side of them that only being in an intimate one-on-one relationship can provide you with?

that's why i put perfect in quotations. of course you wouldn't know that this person is it, but it's hard to fight it when every part of you is telling you that it is. it's a hard feeling to ignore, no?

 

[BigBadBaldy]

Maybe you two should hook up?

BBB.

..you seem to have a lot in common!