i'm a canadian-born eastern european jewish girl (does that makes any sense?)
my boyfriend is a non-practicing catholic vietnamese boy.
all of our friends are cool with it. however, i have gotten some really shitty responses from people from my jewish community. this one girl, after finding out that i had been attending UWO, said "you go to Western and you couldn't find yourself a Jew?"
my parents have been the worst. they outright ignore that my brother and i are dating non-Jews. it makes no difference that our partners are kind, intelligent, ambitious and like-minded people.
my brother and i have been forced to make this really, really shitty choice. do we want to live an 'easy' life, with all the benefits of family acceptance? do we want to choose a partner who will understand our beliefs, our culture, our observances, heck, even our cuisine? do we want to settle down with a person who will have the same outlook on family, community, child-rearing etc.
or do we want to experience everything life has to offer? choose a person because they are right for me, as a human, as a woman, not only as a Jew.
i know that if my brother or i decided to marry our current non-Jewish partners, our parents would be devastated. they're the ones who would have to put up with all the questions from relatives and members of their synagogue. but whats worse, is the silence. the silence that comes when someone says "oh, so she met a nice Jewish boy in Toronto?" and my mom says "No."
the silence.
the silence that assumes failure. that somehow with all the hebrew school, shabbat dinners, saturday mornings at synagogue, summers spent at jewish sleepaway camp, that somehow they still managed to fuck it all up.
and thats what i dont know if i can live with.
you may think i'm overreacting, but as far as my parents are concerned, i will be bringing shame to them. and thats something i never wanted to do.
