BigBadBaldy
TRIBE Member
There was a time when things were very different. I remember being a small child, opening and closing the drawers of my bureau using the telekinetic powers that had been artificially encouraged in me through a steady diet of intrapineal lsd injections on the starship while I incubated on the trip over. Things were very different.
I had big plans then. World conquering. Full scale invasion. Toasted marshmallow. Like Tony Montana looking up at the blimp after he goes to collect Elvira after killing Frank, the world truly was mine.
I think the first blow was realizing that though I had a fully functioning 4,000 year-old superintelligence, trapped in this human body I was forced to urinate and defecate in my clothing. Well, into a special waste carry-all, really..
..and I started to like it. My IQ instantly began dropping.
Years later, still vaguely interested in dominance and mayhem, but with the IQ of an interstellar retard, I wrongfullly decided that my first step in bringing the human race to its knees like a $5 crack whore was to pull on Michelle Isbister's pony tail really hard while kicking her in the buttocks simultaneously. I was giddy with visions of GLOBAL DOMINANCE dancing in my spongy head, when she turned around, furious, and hoofed me in my reproductive organs.
..from my knees, looking up into that glaring face, my IQ dropped another trillion points. I was fucked. I dug the homing implants out of my teeth, and forgot about the takeover.
..I was in love.
I had big plans then. World conquering. Full scale invasion. Toasted marshmallow. Like Tony Montana looking up at the blimp after he goes to collect Elvira after killing Frank, the world truly was mine.
I think the first blow was realizing that though I had a fully functioning 4,000 year-old superintelligence, trapped in this human body I was forced to urinate and defecate in my clothing. Well, into a special waste carry-all, really..
..and I started to like it. My IQ instantly began dropping.
Years later, still vaguely interested in dominance and mayhem, but with the IQ of an interstellar retard, I wrongfullly decided that my first step in bringing the human race to its knees like a $5 crack whore was to pull on Michelle Isbister's pony tail really hard while kicking her in the buttocks simultaneously. I was giddy with visions of GLOBAL DOMINANCE dancing in my spongy head, when she turned around, furious, and hoofed me in my reproductive organs.
..from my knees, looking up into that glaring face, my IQ dropped another trillion points. I was fucked. I dug the homing implants out of my teeth, and forgot about the takeover.
..I was in love.