if you're pregnant and almost due, please take an absence from work

[oh toro]

... because your mind clearly isn't as sharp for work-related duties that require attention to detail.

i'm noticing many errors from a co-worker that otherwise has not happened when she was not pregnant... and i'm pissed cuz i have to do forensics and figure out wtf is going on.

 

[Krzysiu]

and pregnant women FART!


its unholy!

 

[sugar]

All I can think now is:

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!

 

[groovespinna]

can you pay her wages during this period?

 

[Flashy_McFlash]

Forensics? Well Crossing Jordan did a pretty good job when she was preggers. Then again, she had Johhny Sliders to help.

 

[KiFe]

Originally posted by sugar
All I can think now is:

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!

"Iiiiiiiifffff you're pregnant and you smell, clap your hands!"
*CLAP CLAP*
"If you're pregnant and you've been farting clap your hands!"
*CLAP CLAP*
"If you're pregnant and you're farting from the pickles you been eating, if you're pregnant and you're smelly clap your hands!"
*CLAP CLAP*

 

[Subsonic Chronic]

This was certainly deserving of its own thread.

 

[oh toro]

Originally posted by Flashy_McFlash
Forensics?

forensics as in figuring out what the problem is and how it got to be that way...

 

[Krzysiu]

 

[MoFo]

Well, if her water breaks, you can study it for kicks.

 

[JESuX]

one of my co-workers, who's my age, and trained me is preggo... with twin girls.

the poor girl went from being the same SIZE as me (approx. 5"6 and 115lbs) to ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY POUNDS AND SHE'S NOT DUE TILL MAY. SHE IS THE SIZE OF A SMALL COUNTRY AND GAINING TEN POUNDS PER WEEK.

i am never having children based on this information alone.

 

[Krzysiu]

you could always order out... feel like chinese?

 

[CO2]

ya big wimp

 

[oh toro]

Originally posted by JESuX
one of my co-workers, who's my age, and trained me is preggo... with twin girls.

the poor girl went from being the same SIZE as me (approx. 5"6 and 115lbs) to ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY POUNDS AND SHE'S NOT DUE TILL MAY. SHE IS THE SIZE OF A SMALL COUNTRY AND GAINING TEN POUNDS PER WEEK.

i am never having children based on this information alone.

... and one can only imagine how stretched out she's gonna be after delivery. poor husband.

 

[KillaLadY]

Originally posted by oh toro
... and one can only imagine how stretched out she's gonna be after delivery. poor husband.

it's good for fisting.

 

[groovespinna]

nah. 90% of these dealies are C-sections these days.
she'll be as toight as ever.

 

[oh toro]

Originally posted by KillaLadY
it's good for fisting.

porsche boxster styles

 

[Eclectic]

Originally posted by oh toro
... and one can only imagine how stretched out she's gonna be after delivery. poor husband.

Couple extra stitches afterwards should clear that right up.

 

[CO2]

I can honestly say ive never fisted a woman..

..and I can honestly say i dont think id ever want to.

 

[KiFe]

Originally posted by CO2
I can honestly say ive never fisted a woman..

..and I can honestly say i dont think id ever want to.

"Wasn't i wearing a watch?"

 

[StarvinMarvin]

Originally posted by KiFe
"Wasn't i wearing a watch?"

lmao!!!!

 

[oh toro]

Originally posted by CO2
I can honestly say ive never fisted a woman..

..and I can honestly say i dont think id ever want to.

when it's your only option at the moment, live it up!

 

[KillaLadY]

apparently fisting is the new... something.

 

[lucky1]

Originally posted by JESuX
one of my co-workers, who's my age, and trained me is preggo... with twin girls.

the poor girl went from being the same SIZE as me (approx. 5"6 and 115lbs) to ONE HUNDRED AND SEVENTY POUNDS AND SHE'S NOT DUE TILL MAY. SHE IS THE SIZE OF A SMALL COUNTRY AND GAINING TEN POUNDS PER WEEK.

i am never having children based on this information alone.

Twins are great... I hope I have twins... (and I'm not just saying this casue I am one )

 

[Katman]

A woman I work with managed to sneak in the fact that after three kids she can't use tampons because they pop out every time she sneezes.

Hotdog down the hallway.