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I have been destroyed by teenagers and their poor UI design

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
This morning I overslept, because my blackberry has a poor battery and... whatever... Sorry all my friends who work at Blackberry, but your company needs to roll over and die.

So a bizarre comedy of errors began, this morning, when I attempted to phone my boss and tell him that I wouldn't be going to work today.

Of course it all started with my blackberry having no battery and not waking me up on time.

So I realized the stupid phone had no charge, and I immediately went to Skype, on which I have about $24CAD credit.

Look, I'm not stupid. At least, I hope I'm not. But I encourage you to go to skype.com and try to make a phone call.

I mean, I'm not a genious, but isn't the whole point of skype to make a phone call? I mean I have $24 there.

Their page will let you log in, let you add credit, it will tell you about features like VOIP caller ID, voice messaging, all kinds of wonderful stuff.

I WANT TO MAKE A FUCKING PHONE CALL.

After about 30 minutes of going nuts, I clicked on their FAQ: "How to make a call"

Am I retarded? Do I really have to resort to a FAQ on skype of "how to make a call?" Well yes, apparently I did.

It said:

1. Login (I was already logged in, it told me I had $24Cad credit)
2. Click the "icon"

OK and that's where I got lost because whatever "icon" they were talking about was NOT on the page.

The only fucking thing we need at skype.com is the fucking button that makes a phone call! I mean that's all they do, isn't it?

Anyway I went to a few other sites and I started realizing all this shit is made by kids with too much money.

Human Factors, plain interoperability, UI, phone me.

But can you fantastically not agree that a website that has a business model to make phone calls, has no link to actually make phone calls?

Bah, I'm drunk enough and my Blackberry is charged, I'm gonna call Microsoft/Skype and complain. I'll post the results.

-jM
A&D
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Well step one, from their website:

"We don’t currently provide telephone support."

Ok, I will dig deeper.

-jM
A&D
 

mute79

TRIBE Member
You need a Skype app installed on your PC/Mac/Tablet/Smartphone/Whatever to make outgoing calls. I use it often, like once a week, and it's great.
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Ok well I tried 411 and I got some lady in Thunder Bay and she referred me to "Microsoft" 650-798-2200 and I knew it was gonna be a fail, and it was, it was just some retail shop in... i dont know... wherever 650 area code is. Sounded like a mall.
Try again.

-jM
A&D
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
OK so Microsoft now owns skype and their phone number is 425-882-8080.

There is nobody at extension 123.

Let's try again.

-jM
A&D
 
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Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
New phone number, 800-642-7676.

Another new phone number 425-882-8080.

According to my story there is a Josh Stevenson who slipped on the ice in Markham and is bleeding everywhere so he was taken to the hospital and I have to notify HR.

Does Microsoft even have an office in Markham? Anyway their emergency employees seem to think there is one.

-jM
A&D
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Well I hope Josh Stevenson is OK because Microsoft's emergency line is slower than Obamacare. Seriously, how dangerous can coding be?

still on hold.....

I just want to talk to the team that made a horrible skype UI.

-jM
A&D
 
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Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Hmm well Microsoft really wants to make sure you're an employee before they do anything. Which I guess is good.

The "security advisor" is going to phone me back.

I need a new strategy.

-jM
A&D
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Ok well the gentleman from corporate security confirmed that they DO NOT have an office in Markham. They also do not have any SKYPE operations in Canada.

Which makes sense because any fucking Canadian could develop better software than stupid skype.

Back in the day, back when I gave them money, it was very simple. You log in, and then the most immediate thing on the screen was the touchtones, you made a phone call, that's it.

Another complaint: CNN.

Try to get a fucking login on that site. I did, I registered, and yet it still doesn't work. Try it.

Who are the stupid kids designing this shit?

-jM
A&D
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
"
How do I use skype desktop to make a call?

How do I add contacts to my windows desktop?

Do you know about all of skypes features?

How do I sign into windows desktop for skype?

How do I add or change my profile picture for windows desktop?

Finding your way around skype? (windows desktop)

Getting started with skype? (windows desktop)

How do I organize my contacts in skype for windows desktop?

Learn how to send files with skype

And this is the one that really kills me, "There are lots of ways to get support from skype."

Ok. Maybe I'm retarded. But I'm not gonna quit yet.

No phone number? No email? At least I want my money back.

-jM
A&D

HEY SKYPE!!! I JUST WANT TO MAKE A PHONE CALL
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
They have fucking everything.....

"
about skype
skype for facebook
skype WiFi
skype for mobile
skype for tablets
payment and prices
skype for managers
skype manager for members
skype connect?
microsoft account?
skype for gaming!
Hey, skype for blu ray!
Skype accessories.

HEY how about the OLD DAYS when I clicked skype and could make a fucking phone call!
Seriously, check their website and see if ANYWHERE on there is a place to make a phone call?

Or a place to get "customer support" and demand my money back.

-jM
A&D
 
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Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Did you get our email from Skype?
Please cut-and-paste the code (the email contained no code)
"Password successfully changed!" Hey skype, it would help if you told me what my new password is.

Oh, I can now access my account, view my call logs, and other interesting things.

Oh but my call logs are all at 0% because I CANT MAKE A FUCKING PHONE CALL.

-jM
A&D
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
So after about five hours, I find this:

If you are a Skype customer, you can contact live chat support as follows:

Sign in with your Skype Name and password.
Select the topic you need help with and the problem you’re having. Some information that might help with your problem is displayed.
If the information doesn’t help, click Next.
Select your contact method.
You will see an option to request chat support. Click Text chat support.
"

Who writes this crap? Some co-op from Arkansas? There are no icons, there are no "clickables", I can't even make a goddamned phone call off this site... I can't even send an email of complaint or ask for my money back!

I keep trying....

-jM
A&D
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
How can I get support for Skype?
There are lots of different ways to get support for Skype. You’ve made it to one of them, but there are more to be found.

FAQs and User Guides

You're here already! The Skype Support website contains over 600 FAQs and user guides related to everything Skype, from Skype for Windows to Skype Premium. You can search for an answer to your question and then use our filters to make sure you find out about Skype on your device, or you can browse by category and learn everything you need to know.

Community

The Skype Community is a forum for everything related to Skype. You can search for an answer from the start page, or if you’d like to ask your own question, simply sign in with your account and complete your profile to get involved.

Facebook

Over on our Facebook page, you can search for previous questions or ask your own.

YouTube

Our YouTube channel has a range of videos that can help you with a problem or show you something new.

Customer Service

If you can’t find an answer to your question, or you’d like to speak to us about a specific problem, you can contact Customer Service.

This is such an outrageous bunch of horsehit! None of those links go anywhere, none of their "support" exists, It's all such a fantastic lie that I'm rolling in my office here, not believing that a company can get away with such shit!

At this point I just want my money back. Just $25CAD, not much, but skype could NOT deliver when I needed them and they also have some kind of AI customer service, bunch of teenage Justin Biebers working their place.

PS Happy 20th Justin!

-jM
A&D
 

Jeffsus

TRIBE Member
Ok, I tried my best, my hardest.

I spoke with many Microsoft "security" people, I really pushed the limits, I won't explain what I said.

I did eventually get a hold of a software guy at Skype, but he hung up on me pretty fast.

So, what I learned from today:

1. Skype has absolutely no customer service whatsoever
2. Skype lies through whatever teeth it may have, and has been disgorged by Microsoft, whose phone number's I've posted above.
3. Software developers or marketers just have no fucking clue anymore.

-jM
A&D
 
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