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how to write a university assignment

air-bag

TRIBE Member
How to write a paper in university:

1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well lighted place in front of your computer.
2. Log onto ICQ (be sure to go on away!). Check your email.
3. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it.
4. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some chocolate to help you concentrate.
5. Check your email.
6. Call up a friend and ask if he/she wants to go to the caf and grab a hot chocolate. Just to get settled down and ready to work.
. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well lighted place.
7a. If your room is not clean, take out the garbage and vacuum first.
8. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it.
9. Check your email.
10. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate.
11. Look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror.
12. Grab some mp3z off of kazaa.
13. Check your email.
14. ICQ chat with one of your friends about the future (ie summer plans).
15. Check your email.
16. Listen to your new mp3z and download some more.
17. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if she's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the college, the world at large.
18. Walk to the store and buy a pack of gum. You've probably run out.
19. While you've got the gum you may as well buy a magazine and read it.
20. Check your email.
21. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV.
22. Play some solitare.
23. Check out thehun.net.
24. Wash your hands.
25. Call up a friend to see how much they have done, probably haven't started either.
26. Look through your housemate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is.
27. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future.
28. Check to see if thehun.net has been updated yet.
29. Check your email and listen to your new mp3z
30. You should be rebooting by now, assuming that windows is crashing on schedule.
31. Read over the assignment one more time, just for heck of it.
32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sun rising.
33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.
34. Punch the fucking wall and break something.
35. Check your email.
36. Mummble obscenties.
37. 4am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.
38. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write that stupid paper.
39. Go to class, hand in paper, and leave right away so you can take a nap
 

Bass-Invader

TRIBE Member
for my ex roomate that would be changed to:

- 'Toss the rooster' after each completed minor part of the assignment.
 

PosTMOd

Well-Known TRIBEr
Originally posted by Bass-Invader
- 'Toss the rooster' after each completed minor part of the assignment.
Definitely. Procrastination and masturbation rhyme for a reason.

The best part about spending 2 hours on an assignment that you should have spent 12 or so hours working on (over 3 months... like an hour a week) is getting a B... or even a C...

Makes you feel so S-M-R-T.

But then you get scared that even if you worked on it for 12 hours, you'd only get an A-.... so, you condition yourself to do the same thing every time...
 

kurtz

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by PosTMOd


Definitely. Procrastination and masturbation rhyme for a reason.
But if you had to give up one... which would you choose?? :D

You gotta love North American education ~ you can seriously pass an entire class with a couple nights of ‘microwave’ thought (steaming on the outside but frozen in the center).

I went to a small university where a lot of profs would give paper extensions... which in turn, was an extension for putting it aside. ;)
 
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MoFo

TRIBE Member
EXAMS ARE OVER!
I just wrote the most difficult exam in my entire life!
And it've over.

GO TEAM SUMMER! Now I can procrastinate procrastinating.
 

blueker

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Bass-Invader
for my ex roomate that would be changed to:

- 'Toss the rooster' after each completed minor part of the assignment.
LOL! Are you serious? Good thing he moved out...

add to list:
-go shopping
-smoke a bowl
-call all your friends that you haven't talked to in a month

Olga
 

AdamAnt

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by air-bag
How to write a paper in university:


32. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sun rising.
33. Lie face down on the floor and moan.
34. Punch the fucking wall and break something.
35. Check your email.
36. Mummble obscenties.
37. 4am - start hacking on the paper without stopping. 6am -paper is finished.
Does your sun rise before 4am?
 
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