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How do you treat your ex girlfriends?

litespeed

Well-Known TRIBEr
Some i talk to to, some i don't. I never speak bad about any of them though. Except the pollack. she was nuts.
 

Dirty Girl

TRIBE Member
im not friends with any my exes, they are all losers and I would like to run over some of them with my car.
however I am still friends with all my fuck buddies!
 
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mariazmess

TRIBE Member
i have a really bad memory, but i think i'm still civil with most of my exes -- except one who I hooked up with years later and was a crazy freako about it. I don't think I'd speak to him if I saw him.
 

sianspherica

TRIBE Member
Got about 90% of them on my facebook, but I wouldnt say I'm "friends" with any of them.

They are now just aquantances I had a history with, a long time ago. Run into some occasionally, things are very pleasant, but that's about it.
 
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<FresHFunK>

TRIBE Member
I still keep in contact with a couple, it just sucks when ever they get all emotional about why it didn't work. The worst is the one who totally fucked me over, had three kids, got a divorce and then proceeds to contact my mother to get a hold of me. I called her back to be polite, she was crying and telling me that she loved me, and how her mother always told her how she should have married me, (this is when the flags started getting thrown like an illegal hold in a football game). To top it off she has been creeping me on facebook consistently sending me friend requests every couple of weeks for like 2 years, she even once emailed me pics of her and her kids. I then seen her one night with a gent and her kids at national sports, I nodded hello and proceeded about my biz, she left in a hurry and haven't heard from her since.


Other then that, sometimes I wish I had contact with some of my cool ex's. Just to hang out and be friends with because they were really good people, but times change as do people.
 

RumRogerz

TRIBE Member
I'm generally very cordial around them. I take breakups very well (sometimes, too well) and that tends to eat away at them (the fact that I bounce back relatively quick). I think it's my general apathy and just accepting fate as it's doled out to me. This shit really gets them angry at me for some reason - but they tend to calm down after time. I don't like leaving relationships by completely severing my contact with that girl. We mostly had some great moments together and spent some quality time having fun... can't just cut someone out of your life who made such an impact.

I basically talk to them as if we are buddies or pals. But I don't invite them over for beer and weed or anything like that.
 

djfear

TRIBE Member
Sadly I can now contribute to this thread.

1st long term ex (5.5 years) I no longer communicate with. The breakup was rough in the beginning as she moved into something else pretty quickly that was a bit stormy. In the end we both ended up happy and it was a good part of our lives that is no in the past. She did end up getting married & had a kid and it was just before this that she politely cut me off permanently.

2nd relationship just ended (4.5 years), amicably and we're still good friends. Fucking sucks and I'm trying to get over it now.
 

deep

TRIBE Member
One interesting thing about adult attachment styles is how they can put certain events / behaviours in a completely different, non-personal context. Like the default differences between how the different styles handle things. Makes it more non-personal if viewed from that lens. For example, over and above the actual content / people / actions in a relationship, people with avoidant tendencies may seem to get over things faster than others, secure types may find it easier to acknowledge the good, anxious types may continue to feel attachment in spite of knowing a situation isn't good for them. Something that might be worth looking into regarding the above.
 

SmoothOperator

TRIBE Member
It definitely takes time... a year or two after a breakup, but I'm still in touch with almost all of my ex's. Some more than others.
Helps if you've moved on, and realized why you broke up to begin with. But in the end, the impact that person made on your life cannot be ignored, so why not be friends? Actually I've had some amazing nights out with ex's while remaining completely platonic. Not a big deal at all.

There are only two that I refuse to speak to. One was a cheater (sorry but if I can't trust you, how can I be your friend?), the other, one of those crazies that threw shit at me and threatened to kill herself whenever I hinted at breaking up. Nuts.

This is one of those topics that is very specific to each individual and situation.
 

Boss Hog

TRIBE Member
I don't talk to any of them. I'm fine with that in most cases, but there are two I'd like to be able to sit down and have a conversation with, just because I still feel there's some unresolved misunderstandings.
 

Maui

TRIBE Member
My last long term gf of 6 years is my best friend still today. We talk via text and fb daily and on the phone once a week.

We just decided we wanted different things and moved on.

Still friends with all my exes but don't really talk to them that much.
 

IgStar

TRIBE Member
I don't talk to any of them. I'm fine with that in most cases, but there are two I'd like to be able to sit down and have a conversation with, just because I still feel there's some unresolved misunderstandings.
This.
this is exactly me.
 

Beer babe

TRIBE Member
Ex #1: Best possible ending that any break up could be. He's the kindest soul i've ever met. 10 years later we're still the best of friends.

Ex #2: Dumped me on the phone while i was at work after 3.5 years of being together and essentially never spoke to me again.

Ex #3: Did a year of friendship after he ended the relationship, but within that year of trying to make a friendship work, he fucked me over badly so i told him goodbye. I know he didn't want me out of his life, but he couldn't keep me around with what he did.
 
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