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How did you know what you wanted to do...

Skipper

TRIBE Member
Lovely N Amazin said:
so i don't know what my answer is other than a no-stress job is worth a lot. but at the same time, feeling undervalued and underemployed adds on stress of an entirely different kind.
Indeed!
I guess what's optimal is a job where most of the stress is self-driven....though I do like the pressure of deadlines or eyes watching what you are doing too.
 

Interchange

TRIBE Promoter
I know this may seem flighty but I would highly recommend some of you check out the movie "the secret" www.tv-links.co.uk go under documentaries and you can click the link vola the movie comes on.

I found it to be very inspiring when I was feeling a bit lost with my direction, I watched it like 3 or 4 times. So much of it makes sense to me.

I have always wanted to be in music since I was a kid and I grew up around it and my parents encouraged it. making money off of it is another story.
My 2nd choice over the past few years has been web page building internet stuff... I now work at one of the biggest domain Registrars in the world doing cool investigative stuff on peoples domains... I am still shocked I got this job... but with the little experience I did have in it, it is in exactly the right direction I need for what I want :)

I got a white board and hung it in my room I wrote out exactly the things I will have and accomplish I see it every morning when I wake up and before I go to bed and the reminder has been amazing and is really helping me focus.

I say if you want to be that superstar, actress, dancer whatever go for it pursue whatever crazy dreams you have... so at least when you are old, if anything you can at least say you tried to fulfill your dreams :) and have no regrets.
 

Ms. Fit

TRIBE Member
Lovely N Amazin said:
this sums up my current dilemma. i'm done school and absolutely love the work i do - but it takes so much of my time, mind and energy. i want to step away from it all and come back recharged ... i feel i deserve a break and have some great things ahead of me. however, i feel like no one understands me when i tell them this! or they get it in an abstract way, but when i say i want to take a service job or take a pay cut, people look at me like i have three heads. not everyone mind you, but quite a few in my work circles, mentors, supervisors and people whose opinion i value - and whose opinion of me has a bearing on future opportunities.

i know exactly what i want to do now (find a pt job, resume volunteering, a dance class, submit grant applications for 2008 -> and then travel) but i'm afraid i won't have the courage to do what's right for me instead of caving in to professional/social pressure and taking on yet another project. i would kill for a job i can leave at work.

so i don't know what my answer is other than a no-stress job is worth a lot. but at the same time, feeling undervalued and underemployed adds on stress of an entirely different kind.
i know how you feel. the first year i was out of university i worked at a call centre where i basically called a pre-existing client base and sold them probably the easiest product in the world to sell. that job was soooo simple and carefree...no wonder people there became lifers. and i worked with a lot of cool younger people (including some hot account managers).

easy job at a big and well known company, chatting up the president because i wasn't nervous about impressing him, i was living at home, us colleagues would go out or go to eachother's places and get stupid drunk, the silly boy drama, the stories...oh man, life was so simple back then.
 
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grumblegirl

TRIBE Member
Lovely N Amazin said:
however, i feel like no one understands me when i tell them this! or they get it in an abstract way, but when i say i want to take a service job or take a pay cut, people look at me like i have three heads. not everyone mind you, but quite a few in my work circles, mentors, supervisors and people whose opinion i value - and whose opinion of me has a bearing on future opportunities.
...
so i don't know what my answer is other than a no-stress job is worth a lot. but at the same time, feeling undervalued and underemployed adds on stress of an entirely different kind.
It's mighty stressful, actually. My job is kinda ok - very very low stress and great co-workers - but at the same time, I do feel a push for something "bigger and better"... especially from external sources.

That's the worst part - it is, to some degree, the pressure of those around me - esp the bf - that makes me as stressed as I am about the lack of 'career' that I am currently experiencing.

A lot of the people around me are really career-driven - they work evenings, on the weekends, days off aren't really days off... I don't want that. Not at all. But to not have that means a lesser pay and lesser 'status' professionally.
Part of me is fine with that, and part of me feels that I'm selling myself short. Is it just that I feel that I *should* want more out of a job? Or do I actually *want* more?

I used to want to be a psychologist, before I got sick and couldn't do full time school. Now - I'm unwilling to go back to school, especially as it'd likely involved moving cities AGAIN and that just doesn't appeal to me anymore. So - what, then?

And off I go to apply to yet another job that I'm not sure I want, but is at least better paying than my current. lol
 
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the gatekeeper

TRIBE Member
grumblegirl said:
I

A lot of the people around me are really career-driven - they work evenings, on the weekends, days off aren't really days off... I don't want that. Not at all. But to not have that means a lesser pay and lesser 'status' professionally.
Part of me is fine with that, and part of me feels that I'm selling myself short. Is it just that I feel that I *should* want more out of a job? Or do I actually *want* more?
In my current job I'm WAY underchallenged and don't have any job-related stress whatsoever (other than being bored and also knowing what I want to do and not having the financial means to do it right now) but I love that I come here, do my thing, go home & don't have to worry about anything.

When I'm working for myself I know it'll be the polar opposite, but it's something that I love and it'll be mine and I'm totally fine with the fact that it'll consume my life. I figure it'll be ok, cuz I'll have the coolest boss ever! :D
 

xsre

TRIBE Member
rubytuesday said:
I've felt like an impostor at times.
I can't believe someone else has gone through this as well! I had a counsellor at University who told me about Impostor Syndrome (it was the gateway to her understanding my particular case of PTSD/anxiety) when I told her that I always thought someone was going to "find me out", that I had in fact written that A+ paper the night before, or that it only took me 3 hours to do something they said it would take 2 days to do. She said that what it is really is really smart people's guilt for being so smart. :D
 

rubytuesday

TRIBE Member
xsre said:
I can't believe someone else has gone through this as well! I had a counsellor at University who told me about Impostor Syndrome (it was the gateway to her understanding my particular case of PTSD/anxiety) when I told her that I always thought someone was going to "find me out", that I had in fact written that A+ paper the night before, or that it only took me 3 hours to do something they said it would take 2 days to do. She said that what it is really is really smart people's guilt for being so smart. :D
Lots of people have it I'm sure, but no one talks about it because then they'd be found out! I had one good conversation about it with another grad student this year. Coincidentally we're both first generation university goers who grew up poor.

I used to assume that I did well because I'm lucky or people felt bad for me but I'm willing to attribute it to hard work now. :)
 

Booty Bits

TRIBE Member
actually, if you talk candidly with almost anyone in grad school (not the blowhards), they will admit to feeling like an imposter.
i know i had that feeling in spades, and when i talked to my peers, they all had similar feelings.
 

JESuX

TRIBE Member
cosmiK-Cat said:
6 yrs to do any of the above?? pulmonary/respiratory specialist & teaching aside, those others could take you about 1-2 yrs for a college diploma. Screw the family-family is the hardest crowed to please, they will always find something to criticize- it's what they do ;)

Monentary wise-realize that unfortunately for this country, debt for education is assured for you. It's what's keepin' the population down.
Which is why I wish at least *one* of my parents was born in the EU.
damn.
heh, yeah, you're kind of right. i guess it's just really overwhelming to think about *starting* a BA at 27 in order to do the follow up for either the pulminary/respiratory specialist, or teaching. (those two are by far my favourite options, as well as the prospect of becoming a journalist)

i have dual UK/Canada citizenship. sometimes i wonder if i should just head across the pond and use my accent to my advantage. :p
 
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sugar

TRIBE Member
You'd probably want to do a B.Sc. before the respiratory specialist diploma. I used to babysit for a woman who did that, and she did very well financially as a travelling respiratory educator for Glaxo. She got to work from home and then just travel around Ontario.
 
Really? You shouldn't. I was thinking of you the other day when I spoke to a recently appointed lawyer who is completely regretting her career choice and is asking me to help her get a business related job.

I should put you in touch with her, you'd feel instantly better about your decision.
 

MeL_Roc

TRIBE Member
I didn't know what I wanted to do until a year or two ago. I'm a teacher now and love it. As a child, I wanted to be a cop or a vet. That changed. I went to school for psych. and didn't know what to do with it when I graduated. I decided to take a year off and figure out what I wanted to do. I began volunteering in schools and tutored kids after work. I realized I really enjoyed working with kids. So I applied for Teacher's College and finally decided that's what I wanted to do.
 

stargurl*

TRIBE Member
I'm 25, and I don't know what I want to do with my life.

I had a career (or the start of one, anyway) back in Canada, and I had a general idea of what I might like to do in the future, but those career paths don't necessarily exist/aren't accessible to me here.

Pretty much all jobs here require the ability to speak (at least) two or three languages. I'm currently learning to speak Dutch, but I don't know if that will be enough to help me find a job. Everybody tells me that when my language skills improve, I could probably find a job as a receptionist, or on an IT helpdesk, but I don't really want to do either of those things (no offense meant to those who do).

I can't help but think that I'll end up having to go back to college/university, but I don't really know what I'd like to study. Undergraduate-level courses around here are only offered in Dutch, which means that to be admitted, I would have to pass a standardized language exam that's only offered once a year. If I take the exam in May 2008 and don't pass, then I couldn't think about starting school until September 2009, and by then... that's just so far away, and what would I do in the meantime?

It was, of course, my choice to come here, but I just feel so lost sometimes.
 
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Skipper

TRIBE Member
daddyiwantchocolate said:
Really? You shouldn't. I was thinking of you the other day when I spoke to a recently appointed lawyer who is completely regretting her career choice and is asking me to help her get a business related job.

I should put you in touch with her, you'd feel instantly better about your decision.
It's not even law vs business anymore, it's more trying to narrow things down within the options that will be available to me with an mba. There is so much stuff that interests me. I keep getting emails from career management at the school telling me to get started on my career development before I even get there because recruiting starts the 3rd week in September.

But your post does make me feel good. :D
 

grumblegirl

TRIBE Member
I had a long conversation about my career path with one of the bosses at my work. Not my direct supervisor, and I like her a lot. She is going to pass on job ads that she gets internally from other agencies to me because she knows I'm being underutilized to a massive degree in my current position, and like me, she doesn't have a lot of faith that MY boss will do anything about that.

How awesome is that?

She also said that she felt that I was qualified to apply for all sorts of jobs that I hadn't felt I should bother with.

Yay. I may just end up with a career yet, someday.
 

akiras

TRIBE Member
I used to believe that there was one career for everyone, something that we were *meant* or destined to do. Now I think that finding a suitable career is more about matching your own personal strengths with the strengths of the job, finding something that you generally enjoy doing, and realizing that no job is perfect and that there will be times when you hate it. What are your priorities in life? Does a particular job allow you to achieve your goals both in and outside of work? Find a job that you are good at, where the positives outweigh the negatives.

What you do as your work is undoubtedly important, as most of us will spend about one third of our lives at our workplace. But I have realized that a career is only one piece of the puzzle in our lives, and doesn't define who someone is. We are all very talented women with lots to offer, and there are many career paths that any one of us could successfully take.
 
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