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hilarious, ominous truth.

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by smile, Jan 15, 2002.

  1. smile

    smile TRIBE Member


    "Michael Moore Once Again Congratulates George W. Bush
    Hail George, Conqueror of Evildoers!"

    Dear George W. Bush:

    Hats off to you, sir, for a job well done! The Soviets tried for ten years to do what it took you only two months to accomplish in Afghanistan. How did you do that? It's funny how a couple months ago there were all these Taliban, and now -- there aren't any! You must be some kind of super magician -- almost as good at disappearing acts as ol' Osama (or, as they say on the Fox Nuisance Channel, "Usama" -- I like their spelling better, like "We put the 'USA' in USAma!"). He did exist, didn't he? I would hate to have gotten myself all worked up over the wrong evildoer! I loved that last tape of his, the home video of his sleepover with that sheik. What a party animal, that guy!

    And how 'bout that Northern Alliance! Thanks to them, my weekly supply of heroin will finally be reinstated. Whoo-hoo -- and just in time for New Year's Rockin' Eve! Those Taliban simply did NOT have the best delivery system for the stuff, kinda like why you never see Beaman's gum anymore -- poor distribution and shelf placement. According to the New York Times, the Northern Alliance has put all the poppy farmers back to work, and they are promising a "bumper crop" by spring.

    But Mr. Bush, I am most impressed with how you have used those who died on September 11th to justify your lining the pockets of your rich friends and campaign contributors. Your "Economic Stimulus Bill" -- pure genius! You actually got the House of Representatives to pass a bill eliminating the law that said corporations have to pay at least a token minimum tax every year.

    See, most people forget that back in your daddy's day (when he was VP) thousands of companies were able to lawyer their way out of paying any taxes at all! Then a law was passed to stop that. Now you got the House to agree to give all these corporations back ALL the minimum taxes they have paid since 1986!! That's $140 billion of givebacks ($1.4 billion to IBM, a billion to Ford, $800 million to GM, etc.). And you got this passed, all under the guise of "September 11th!" How do you get away with this without the American public whoopin' your behind? Man, you are THE MAN!

    Hey, and tell your top sheriff, Big John Ashcroft, that his refusal to let the FBI look at the files of gun background checks that the Justice Department keeps -- to see if any of the terrorists or suspected terrorists have purchased weapons in the past two years -- took some balls! Even though checking those files might turn up information that could protect us in possible future attacks, Ashcroft was more concerned with not upsetting the NRA than in helping his own FBI catch the bad guys. Now that's what I call getting your priorities straight. Big John may have lost his Senate seat last year to a dead guy, but he sure as heck ain't gonna lose me as a huge admirer!

    Well, I better go before someone from the Office of Homeland Security mistakes me for someone who needs to be "interviewed!" Rest assured I'm doing my part for the country by shopping my sorry ass off in this week before Christmas. Buy! Buy! Buy! Tora! Tora! Tora! Bora! Whoo-hoo, Prince O' Peace!! Fight Team Fight! Go get 'em, George, Jr. -- we're counting on you to kill all evildoers!

    Michael Moore
    Third in Line to the King of Afghanistan mmflint@aol.com
    P.S. You'll beat that Enron rap, just like you beat your other raps! Chin up! Who needs "energy traders" anyway? I never saw that job on the list from my high school counselor!!

    September 11th was the perfect opportunity, in the name of a War Against terrorism, to instigate many new policies which minimalize our freedoms (Bill C-36 anyone?) and promote economic policies which contribute to the rich maintaining, even strengthening the grip on power. Ford today used it as an excuse to lay off 35,000 people worldwide...."revitalization" they called it. Last quarter Ford lost some 690 Million dollars. This is how they justified the layoffs or the cutbacks. What people fail to see is that last year Ford had record profits of over 6 billion dollars. It's sick.
  2. skyparty

    skyparty TRIBE Member

    i'm sorry- that's alot of reading...
    that's as far as i got...

    but the woohoo part made met hink of the simpsons, and that sentence was rather funny.

    narissa [​IMG]
  3. OTIS

    OTIS TRIBE Member

    hahahaha.. way too much reading hahahah


    bigup Michael Moore..i always enjoy watching/reading about his antics..

  4. smile

    smile TRIBE Member

    too much reading?

    what are you, in kindergarten?

    it's THREE PARAGRAPHS, people.

    come ON.
  5. Deus

    Deus TRIBE Member

    This is exactly what I said on Sept 12th, but everyone accused me of not being sympathetic.

    What's next? The US will use this as an excuse for attacking other enemies of the state by accusing them of being possible terrorist evildoer folks.
  6. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Michael Moore, Noam Chomsky, Bill Hicks, Jon Stewart.

    All rare beacons of hope through the thick political fog.
  7. skyparty

    skyparty TRIBE Member

    it's not too much reading in general
    just RIGHT NOW i'm being lazy.

    hell i've written longer posts than that myself...

    narissa [​IMG]
  8. Hal-9000

    Hal-9000 TRIBE Member


  9. OTIS

    OTIS TRIBE Member

    That's too much reading.. but you said "General"
    that reminds me of General Katoffee from the Simpson's Matel Chocobot hour.

  10. Deus

    Deus TRIBE Member

    What got me really pissed in this whole thing is when Dubya said "If you're not with us, you're with the terrorists." Wow, can anybody be more stupider than that???
  11. Hal-9000

    Hal-9000 TRIBE Member

    Word from some of the pundits is that Bush (as advised by top aides, naturally) is re-fashioning that statement to world leaders when he speaks to them directly...somehting a little more diplomatic apparently.
  12. skyparty

    skyparty TRIBE Member

    OTIS honestly-

    you make me laugh.
    i know they're directly making fun of me--

    but they are rather humourous.

    narissa [​IMG]
  13. smile

    smile TRIBE Member

    of COURSE he is.....all that "with us or with the terrorists" garbage is just so he looks like a badman on the telly.
  14. Ditto Much

    Ditto Much TRIBE Member

    I'm normally a huge fan of Michael Moore. This peace seems a little shallow for his normal wit though. Should have just stuck to the part about the NRA and guns. American Gun laws are great for a good laugh.

    "Why do you want a handgun?"
    "What do you intent to do with your handgun?"

    2 questions that should be asked and aren't when a person purchases a handgun in the US.
  15. Deus

    Deus TRIBE Member

    US logic goes something like this.

    Proglem: Some kids in the US carry guns to school, they are putting the other kids at great danger.
    Solution: Give the other kids guns to protect themselves.

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