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HEY! torontojungle posters!!!

Discussion in 'Jungle Room' started by 2blu_, Apr 22, 2010.

  1. 2blu_

    2blu_ TRIBE Member

    waddup!?, you jaded son's o' bitches??

    (who else posts here?)
  2. diablo

    diablo TRIBE Member

    *leaves thread*
  3. Sal De Ban

    Sal De Ban TRIBE Member

    after reading a few threads over the past few months, it appears that they're quite an angry bunch. i'm sure just saying this will have me shunned from something or another.
  4. 2blu_

    2blu_ TRIBE Member

    LOL ..typical TorontoJungle response to diablo and sal
    = no ones talking to you, cant you read the title?
    run along now.. before i forget, heres a simple tip for you, articulated in a fun animation

  5. diablo

    diablo TRIBE Member

  6. 2blu_

    2blu_ TRIBE Member

    I KNOW! RIGHT!!??
    hope you come back with some originality next time
  7. djsubrock

    djsubrock TRIBE Promoter

    i just wanna rave
  8. djsubrock

    djsubrock TRIBE Promoter

    is it dnb award time?
  9. Sal De Ban

    Sal De Ban TRIBE Member

    or.....when he has more jungley friends? :D you've got no pull, Diablo!!!!

    I personally like some of the funny youtube links posted on there sometimes.
  10. diablo

    diablo TRIBE Member

  11. sianspherica

    sianspherica TRIBE Member


    are the old Top 30 Facts about ____ online still?
  12. diablo

    diablo TRIBE Member

    Not unless you can find them on TJ.

    I might have them on my comp at home, but I'm not sure.
  13. ghaleon

    ghaleon TRIBE Member

    ill only post there if its for promoting purposes, otherwise there is an extremely high percentage of fucktards and its not worth the time
  14. diablo

    diablo TRIBE Member

    By popular demand:

    The Top *70* Facts About Wizard

    1. A woman once refused to sleep with Wizard because he wouldn’t take off his autographed Vladislav Tretiak jersey.

    2. Wizard made Frankie Gunns bleed from his ears by using an original pressing of “Mr. Kirk’s Nightmare” to chop rails.

    3. All watches and electrical instruments cease functioning when Wizard enters a room. This is why all appliances in his house are diesel-powered.

    4. Wizard once literally performed a barrel roll through a crowded Theory dancefloor before eating an empty Cold Shots can.

    5. While Slobberface and dubsta have both fought bouncers, Wizard has rumbled with no less than three hot dog vendors.

    6. If Wizard met the entire Tribe board, sparks would fly.

    7. If Wizard met Yakov Smirnoff, fur would fly.

    8. Wizard uses the hat that Kate sold him to fight crime.

    9. Wizard reads Playgirl for the articles.

    10. Every time a middle-class university student somewhere votes for the Communist Party, Wizard feels a powerful urge to sit down for a minute.

    11. Wizard once put his foot through his turntables to disprove “the theory of gravity”.

    12. There are never any farm animals within a six-hectare radius of Wizard.

    13. Wizard wanted to be Zangief when he grew up, but his guidance counselor advised him to be Blanka instead.

    14. If there isn’t a pot of soup on Wizard’s stove, don’t think…just run.

    15. Wizard has never played a jungle record in his entire life…only Heavy D, Metallica and Gloria Estefan at 45 RPM.

    16. Wizard passed his G1 test by selecting “All of the above” for very single question and then taking a shit behind the machine.

    17. While world leaders have been nervously watching North Korea and Iran, Wizard has been quietly building an alliance with Upper Volta.

    18. Wizard can survive four weeks without food, three days without water and nineteen minutes without Alcool vodka.

    19. Wizard once won a game of Mario Kart 64 by using Johnny Cage.

    20. Wizard currently holds 74 world records, but will not accept awards or endorsements until Brampton is awarded a seat at the United Nations.

    21. Wizard received a lifetime ban from Loblaw’s for having sex with a value-pack of Tahiti Treat.

    22. Ethical mutual funds won’t invest money in arms manufacturers, cigarette companies or Wizard.

    23. State Farm will not sell home, life or auto insurance to anyone who has ever shaken hands with Wizard.

    24. The last time Wizard went to Mandarin, the owners were forced to call in the riot squad.

    25. Wizard was turned down for the title role in "American Ninja" because he sent the wrong message to kids.

    26. Not content with just pissing that way, Wizard will only shit standing up.

    27. Wizard got approved for a veteran’s pension by writing “Man, every day out here is a war” on the application form.

    28. Wizard cannot be killed; he can only be sobered up.

    29. Do not tell Wizard to shake it off, walk it off or sleep it off; tell him to punch it off.

    30. Over a dozen Asian countries have changed the name their capital city to Wizard or Smerdyakov.

    31. Wizard sponsored a North Korean girl through World Vision. He specifically asked that his 75 cents a day go to one with "a nice rack".

    32. Wizard once opened a beer with someone else's teeth.

    33. Wizard beat the angry Scottish guy in the Alexander Keith's commercials in an arm-wrestling match.

    34. Wizard ghost-writes Vespa's rape jokes.

    35. If you can't beat Wizard, join him.

    36. Most schoolchildren gave an apple to their new teacher on the first day; Wizard gave an onion or potato.

    37. Things that can't be faked: a) the funk b) Wizard.

    38. The original Coldplay lyric was "My thoughts go flying at the speed of Wizard".

    39. Effective today, Wizard will DJ only with cassette tapes in order to uphold the true meaning of "rewind".

    40. There are six million ways to die; ways 18 through 109 are "Wizard".

    41. If you can't go somewhere using a zeppelin, Wizard doesn't need to go there.

    42. Wizard is the lovechild of Chris Penn and Seb Fontaine.

    43. Wizard went 15 rounds with Budweiser to decide who was the true "King of Beers". Do I need to tell you who won?

    44. Wizard was awarded an honourary degree from Tech State University. Or was it State Tech?

    45. Wizard rides horses, women and mechanical bulls to death.

    46. Some people call it pre-drinking; Wizard calls it the most important meal of the day.

    47. If Wizard told you what was going on, he'd have to kill you.

    48. Wizard inspired the "One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor" t-shirt.

    49. Wizard was disqualified from the special olympics after the executive committee decided that - despite everything - "Russian" was not a handicap.

    50. In the war between bace and Lady~s, Wizard sold weapons to both sides while remaining officially neutral.

    51. Skibadee has battled every MC except Wizard. Coincidence? I doubt it.

    52. In response to a growing threat to the community, a new group has been formed: Mothers Against Drunk Wizard.

    53. 60% of the time, Wizard works every time.

    54. Wizard is China's leading supplier of tiger penis.

    55. Wizard's life was turned into a film; that film was Red Dawn. The sequel was Basic Instinct.

    56. The legal drinking age is 19. The legal age for drinking with Wizard is 44.

    57. Wizard only had one hesitation about becoming a Canadian citizen: the Charter of Rights and Freedoms doesn't include one's right to piss in the shower.

    58. Airlines have to pay extra to fly through Wizard's airspace.

    59. Wizard once ran across Canada on one leg...just to show that, you know, it’s no big deal.

    60. The Harlem Globetrotters only lose when Wizard bets against them.

    61. Wizard is the only person on record to successfully make a night deposit at the sperm bank.

    62. When a gay guy asked Wizard if he was a pitcher or a catcher, Wizard said "Designated hitter" and punched him in the mouth.

    63. Wizard prints and sells cards that get you free lapdances. So far, all of the strippers have been too scared to refuse.

    64. Wizard once made a drum and bass tune with nothing but a dot matrix printer, a leaf blower and a Speak & Spell.

    65. For the purpose of simplicity, Earth, Wind and Fire have changed their name to Wizard.

    66. Wizard cured himself of syphilis with a glass of cognac and a hot shower.

    67. Wizard stood in for Patrick Swayze for one scene in "The Outsiders". No one even noticed.

    68. Wizard once ate a barbecue coal by mistake. Two days later, he shit a diamond.

    69. In a feat that has not been seen before or since, Wizard was every single Do and every single Don't in Vice Magazine volume 9, issue 8.

    70. Wizard forever changed the English language by popularizing the plural form of "hell of a guy": hells of guys.
  15. diablo

    diablo TRIBE Member

    The Top 30 Facts About Mojo

    1. Mojo is a card-carrying member of the Joseph Stalin Appreciation Society.

    2. Mojo once fought off a lion with his bare hands. It wasn’t strength that did it, though; the lion just thought he tasted a bit bitter.

    3. Mojo did the motorboat. He’s a motorboatin’ sonofabitch.

    4. Greg Nice was Mojo’s favourite rapper until he found out that his last name was Nice.

    5. It’s a little-known fact that Mojo’s high school girlfriend died in a car crash. Mojo went to the funeral. For the beer.

    6. The coldest temperature ever recorded on Earth was on 18 January 2004. The location was Mojo.

    7. Mojo doesn’t cheer for one particular team. He cheers against the other teams.

    8. Mojo holds the current world record for most “fuck”s uttered during a wedding ceremony.

    9. Mojo can’t get married because of a moral objection to loving, honouring and cherishing.

    10. You know that scene in Bloodsport where the dude crushes the tablet into powder and flings it in Van Damme’s eyes? Mojo gave him that idea.

    11. Mojo once started a soccer riot at a Raptors game.

    12. Mojo was the lead rapper in Third Bass.

    13. Mojo believes in magic in a young girl’s heart.

    14. Women have searched for the key to Mojo’s heart; there is no key. You have to kick your way in.

    15. Mojo once made a nun cry.

    16. Mojo poisoned the well in a Chilean town after losing in a limbo contest.

    17. When the food money gets tight, Mojo seems to adopt a lot of cats.

    18. Half of Mojo’s photo album consists of action shots from the 1997 Newfoundland seal hunt.

    19. Mojo litters as a matter of principle.

    20. Mojo’s high school social studies class had a to write a paper on the meaning of empathy. The class average was B+. Mojo received a Q.

    21. Mojo has been asked by haters how he pulls girlfriends. His answer: surplus Latvian Ketamine.

    22. Mojo once got free entry to clubs in Toronto for a week by pretending to be Dennis Hopper’s son.

    23. Mojo suggested to Bace that they throw drinks at Samantha. Later, under cross examination , he will clarify that by “drinks”, he meant AIDS blood.

    24. Maybe Mojo will be the one to save us. After all, we’re his wonderwall.

    25. Mojo doesn’t have friends – he has interests.

    26. Mojo invests in unethical funds.

    27. Mojo mailed UNICEF a solution to third-world hunger: sandburgers.

    28. Mojo will not do drugs until he shits himself and passes out in your pantry. Unless you’re buying.

    29. Mojo invented the Cleveland Steamer.

    30. Mojo was sentenced to perform 100 hours of community service at a rape crisis center, but opted for jail time over “that emo shit”.
  16. unique2100

    unique2100 TRIBE Promoter

    TJ is good for event listings, and sometimes some decent discussion in the music forum. It's a great place to get sets. That and for promotion. It's too bad that the idiots ruin what could be a really great site.
  17. Sal De Ban

    Sal De Ban TRIBE Member

    these are goddamn hilarious and i don't even know these people.
  18. unique2100

    unique2100 TRIBE Promoter

    Last edited: Apr 23, 2010
  19. Sal De Ban

    Sal De Ban TRIBE Member

    its ok i removed it outta respect. glad u caught it tho! lol :D
  20. diablo

    diablo TRIBE Member

    Some of my finest work.
  21. Cognitive Dissonance

    Cognitive Dissonance TRIBE Member

    some good material in there
  22. Crass

    Crass TRIBE Member

    I post there. :cool:
  23. Sal De Ban

    Sal De Ban TRIBE Member

    i posted something on there last week, can't remember what it was about...
  24. DJ Vuvu Zela

    DJ Vuvu Zela TRIBE Member

    TJ is run by fascist scum.
  25. Sal De Ban

    Sal De Ban TRIBE Member


    welcome to helllLLLLL@@@@@@@@

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