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Hatchet Wielding Hitchhiker kills Jesus

Bacchus

TRIBE Promoter
Phenominal interview.

Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker Gives Insane Interview After Saving Woman from Bear-Hugging Jesus
Neetzan Zimmerman
A homeless, hatchet-wielding hitchhiker named Kai is being hailed as a hero after saving a woman from the clutches of a bear-hugging racist who claimed to be the reincarnation of Jesus Christ.

The story goes like this: After ramming his car into a black Pacific Gas and Electric (PG&E) worker in West Fresno and pinning him to his utility truck, an unidentified man attempted to make things much worse by exiting his vehicle and physically pulling on the injured worker.

Tanya Baker, an eyewitness, saw the man walk back to his car and tried to stop him, only to have him turn around and try to smother her with a bear hug.

"He just kept saying he's Jesus Christ and he's going to save all of us," she told the local Fox affiliate, KMPH, "but we have to get - he used the n-word, meaning the black people — he said we need to get them off the earth."

Enter Kai, who was hitching a ride with Racist Jesus at the time of the accident.

"Like a guy that big can snap a woman's neck like a pencil stick," he recalled thinking at the time. "So I fucking ran up behind him with a hatchet - smash, smash, suh-mash!"

Kai's hatchet blows managed to beat the driver back, ultimately saving Baker — and others — from an unknown fate.

The PG&E worker was rushed to the hospital with two broken legs; the driver was also removed from the scene with non-life-threatening injuries. He is currently in police custody.

Meanwhile, Kai has become something of a guru to many after participating in an eminently quotable interview following the drama.

Make sure to check it out below, if only for his inspirational soliloquy on how everyone is "worthwhile," regardless of "looks, skills, or age, your size or anything."
Hatchet-Wielding Hitchhiker Gives Insane Interview After Saving Woman from Bear-Hugging Jesus

 
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veteze

TRIBE Promoter
so this kid was in the car with the guy? my guess is he drove the guy bonkers cuz he wouldn't shut up.
 
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Bacchus

TRIBE Promoter
I would go with Jesi

Cactus -> Cacti
Jesus -> Jesi
That's now how the plurification of proper nouns work.

it would be "Jesuses"

in the same way, many people named matthew would be refered to as "The matthews"
 
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chooch

TRIBE Member
love that smash smash shhhahhhhash song. anyone else find it odd that hitchhiker was able to do this with a hatchet? crazy.
 

The Peej

TRIBE Member
What I find unfathomable about this whole thing, other than the obvious attempted exploitation buy the small-town news team, is that no one seems phased by the fact that this guy MURDERED SOMEONE WITH A HATCHET BY SMASHING THEIR SKULL OPEN.

"Yeah, but like, he's so COOL."

Wat!?
 

NemIsis

TRIBE Member
The 300 Ib 'Jesus' dude is being held with non-life threatening injuries by the police. He's not dead. So either Kai didn't use the sharp end.. or the guy has one tough noggin. It's my guess, Kai used the blunt end of the hatchet. He probably kept it for protection, or cutting wood. I have a hatchet for camping.

There were also witnesses. If he did attack the guy aggressively without provocation (Like 'Jesus' attacking the woman after she tried to stop him), I'm sure the other witnessess have said so.
 

NemIsis

TRIBE Member
I also haven't seen any reports saying he hit the guy in the head. Any one have any confirmation?
 
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