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guys that come into your office, fart and shut the door...

Gizmo

TRIBE Member
Dude! Big problem at my work where it's an open floor, so the "driveby" is conducted a lot.

Usually with the "hey man, how you doing, and then asking a question about something work related"

Then you start to answer, look up and realise they're moving away at a fast pace...and then boom! it hits!

There is no real defence against it, other than an early warning system. If you see the person coming towards you, say loudly "I swear if you fart and run away again I will fucking kill you" Sometimes the public shaming can stop them. Usually it's effective if there are semi-attractive women nearby, so the person realises his suave quotient could take a hit. But these phantom farters are a committed lot and sometimes won't at an eyelid and keep advancing. Also if you work at a place where it's male domiated and the women are manlier than the men, effectiveness is curtailed. You really can't do anything about them. Sort of like tsunamis.
 
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bombthreat23

TRIBE Member
there is nothing worse...2 or 3 times a day someone comes in, shuts the door, drops a bomb and leaves... there is nothing I can do to stop it...I have no got to locking my door, that way i have to get up and unlock the door and meet them there, not letting them in.
 
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acheron

TRIBE Member
gizmo, all kidding aside, you work in an office that is actively encouraging a fellow to eat five burritos in half an hour. Don't complain about drive-by farts.
 

Flashy_McFlash

Well-Known TRIBEr
Well, if it's happening that often, I would suggest a Home Alone-esque network of traps. My favourite is the hot iron suspended from the ceiling.

and looool acheron
 

EltrikSoulCntlr

TRIBE Member
Gizmo said:
Dude! Big problem at my work where it's an open floor, so the "driveby" is conducted a lot.

Usually with the "hey man, how you doing, and then asking a question about something work related"

Then you start to answer, look up and realise they're moving away at a fast pace...and then boom! it hits!

There is no real defence against it, other than an early warning system. If you see the person coming towards you, say loudly "I swear if you fart and run away again I will fucking kill you" Sometimes the public shaming can stop them. Usually it's effective if there are semi-attractive women nearby, so the person realises his suave quotient could take a hit. But these phantom farters are a committed lot and sometimes won't at an eyelid and keep advancing. Also if you work at a place where it's male domiated and the women are manlier than the men, effectiveness is curtailed. You really can't do anything about them. Sort of like tsunamis.
An equal and measured reaction is called for in this situation. While they are sitting in your office just say " pardon me I just need to use the washroom." Then run to their desk and take a shit on it. When they freak out just tell them " Oh I thought it was cool to expel substances out of our bodies in the other guys office....Sorry."
:D
 

AgentSanchez

TRIBE Promoter
What are you - Swiss? Retaliate muthafucker! Hot wings for dinner, followed by several pints of draft beer, and a couple Sausage and Egg McMuffins for breakfast... It's the office equivalent to nuclear armament, and just as dangerous.

You can cue Adagio for Strings the first time someone sharts.
 
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Casey

TRIBE Member
Do you think this would happen less if farts were colored? I'm leaning towards yes, because you could immediately identify the farter. However, if the farts were a fun color, like bright blue, I think it might happen more often.
 

emiwee

TRIBE Member
Casey said:
Do you think this would happen less if farts were colored? I'm leaning towards yes, because you could immediately identify the farter. However, if the farts were a fun color, like bright blue, I think it might happen more often.
Then psychics could cash in on interpreting the colour of people's farts (like reading auras).
 

bombthreat23

TRIBE Member
AgentSanchez said:
What are you - Swiss? Retaliate muthafucker! Hot wings for dinner, followed by several pints of draft beer, and a couple Sausage and Egg McMuffins for breakfast... It's the office equivalent to nuclear armament, and just as dangerous.

You can cue Adagio for Strings the first time someone sharts.
LOL I do...but it just escalates things...and most of the other bastards are out in the open surrounded by other people...they have me cornered.
 
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Stan

TRIBE Member
Just invest in two things:

1. bottle of Febreeze
2. SuperSoaker

If you really want to escalate matters, you can fill the supersoaker with lemonade and tell them it's urine.

Or you could actually fill it with pee, but that might be taking things too far.
 
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SuperKennyK

TRIBE Member
I once farted in an empty coke bottle, then squeezed out all the air into my friends mouth when he wasn't expecting it. He almost puked. It was funny.
 
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supakeli

TRIBE Member
Casey said:
Do you think this would happen less if farts were colored? I'm leaning towards yes, because you could immediately identify the farter. However, if the farts were a fun color, like bright blue, I think it might happen more often.
Does everyone have this conversation while on mushrooms?
 
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