above statement does not apply if you come from the greater keswick area.
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Growing Up, Moving On?
- Thread starter Krzysiu
- Start date
above statement does not apply if you come from the greater keswick area.
totally agree with this. i get that it isn't the right choice for everybody. i have friends struggling with this choice right now and i can understand why they feel that kids wouldn't fit into their lifestyle. i just would hate to see people regret that choice once it's too late.
i wouldn't give it up for anything. being a parent is hands down the best thing i have done with my life thus far. as far as settling down and giving up partying, i was ready to do that long before kids came around. going out to parties and being up all night got old and i enjoy different things now.
completely agree with this.......Also the hardest thing I have ever done as well. Lots of things to get used to, adjust, change, modify, and discover a patience I never knew I had. Thankgod I have an amazing partner. She's the subtle driver, I simply carry heavy objects, swat away strangers, and kill bugs.
mandapanda
TRIBE Member
why do people think that by having kids, there will be someone to look after them when they're old? i hear this all the time! your kids might die before you, they might be horrible criminals who end up in jail for life, they might just not give a toss about you. so you might have to pay someone to look after you even if you do procreate.
i still think i don't want kids, but the idea is getting less gross to me the older i get. hope that damn biological clock isn't waking up. it's easier this way to not want them!
also, i am totally lame now. i still go out but i can barely make it past 3 am. this, from the girl who partied at stereo for 10 hours straight. i'm okay with that though.
Littlest Hobo
TRIBE Member
Having worked with many LTC and nursing homes, believe this and you will be extremely disappointed. Most seniors have family but they never, ever visit. It's really sad.
sianspherica
TRIBE Member
My biggest fear of having a child, no joke, and I'm sorry if this seems insensitive, is having a mentally disabled child.
Imagine having a severely retarded child? Downs or Autism, etc. And often two completely healthy and mentally stable adults can produce one.
It's a bleak way of looking at things sure, but it's a fact that cannot be ignored. Obviously medical science has helped us predict these things a bit, but when they baby comes out of the womb - it's still a surprise, and sometimes with things like Autism you don't really find out how disabled the kid may be until a few years down the line.
Imagine having a severely retarded child? Downs or Autism, etc. And often two completely healthy and mentally stable adults can produce one.
It's a bleak way of looking at things sure, but it's a fact that cannot be ignored. Obviously medical science has helped us predict these things a bit, but when they baby comes out of the womb - it's still a surprise, and sometimes with things like Autism you don't really find out how disabled the kid may be until a few years down the line.
le bricoleur
TRIBE Member
I think that's a worry most parents have.
cosmosuave
TRIBE Member
Not at all insensitive... We have become friends with a couple whose daughter is on the autism spectrum and I feel for them and more so as they age or when they die as who will help in assisting their daughter...
Down's and Autism are a piece of cake next to some of the rare neurological and physiloigical diseases out there (Ian Brown from the globe did a feature on his son who has a rare genetic condition is not able to communicate at all, injures himself, can't do anything independently including going to bathroom).
It is indeed a risk with a lot of negative outcomes (divorce rates are higher, financially/emotionally draining, 24/7/365 attention throughout their lives, fears about how they will be treated when you die.....) but you do your best to manage it and lean on the government, internet, family/friends and other resources available to raise your children with a disability.
At the end of the day, the chances are still low that these conditions will arise and if you want to have kids, it is still a good bet that they will be born without any major disabilities.
derek
TRIBE Member
i have a nephew with autsim (on the milder side). he's awesome but more of a challenge to raise than his brother and sister. raising a mentally challenged child is certainly more difficult (severity of the malady increases difficulty) but families i know in this situation are, for the most part, as normal and happy as most families.
one of the nice things about my wife and i not having kids is we help out with the nieces and nephews more than we would if we had children of our own (both our time and finances).
as far as energy, i'm in my 40s and can do circles aroud people half my age, so energy is not the problem. i have no fear of dying alone.
the whole meaning of life thing is subjective. in a sense all things exist to procreate so in sense having progency could be viewed as such. but our prefrontal lobe has given us a a species the unique ability of self-awareness and the ability to see that there is more to life than procreation alone, hence there is no real meaning to life, it just is. it's really a philosophical debate. as a parent if meaning if your life is a child that's amazing but you don't need children to (un)subcribe meaning to life.
religion can bite it. i don't think we're any worse of with it's diminishing and eagerly await the day we stop believing in fairy tales (you don't need religion for morals). atheists will have babies as it's a natural biological function, not a religious one.
one of the nice things about my wife and i not having kids is we help out with the nieces and nephews more than we would if we had children of our own (both our time and finances).
as far as energy, i'm in my 40s and can do circles aroud people half my age, so energy is not the problem. i have no fear of dying alone.
the whole meaning of life thing is subjective. in a sense all things exist to procreate so in sense having progency could be viewed as such. but our prefrontal lobe has given us a a species the unique ability of self-awareness and the ability to see that there is more to life than procreation alone, hence there is no real meaning to life, it just is. it's really a philosophical debate. as a parent if meaning if your life is a child that's amazing but you don't need children to (un)subcribe meaning to life.
religion can bite it. i don't think we're any worse of with it's diminishing and eagerly await the day we stop believing in fairy tales (you don't need religion for morals). atheists will have babies as it's a natural biological function, not a religious one.
Hi i'm God
TRIBE Member
For sure kids with issues was and still is my biggest fear, so helpless... Of course parenting isnt so much a breeze then 
The biggest risk occurs with older people having kids...so the chances should you have children later on in life are even higher.
sianspherica
TRIBE Member
I really hope my brother and his wife have a kid, they are both in their mid 30's and they are trying now.
Would be my first neice/nephew, I would spoil that kid so much.
Would be my first neice/nephew, I would spoil that kid so much.
100% agreed.
My son means the world to me. He wasn't the reason why I stopped partying, I slowed that down way before he came into my world. He just truly defined what life means to ME.
But that doesn't mean I stopped going dancing, or concerts... etc. I just don't need to be shitfaced everytime I do so.
We're having our first kid in October, it's both exciting and scary at the same time. I have already noticed changes in my priorities and have seen an increase in my level of patience.
Having said that so far it's been an amazing experience and I can't wait until she is born
Having said that so far it's been an amazing experience and I can't wait until she is born
mandapanda
TRIBE Member
yeah, my mom's doctor suggested that she abort me because the risks of me being mentally disabled were much higher since she was 45 when she had me. she was like "no, i'll love her regardless". luckily, this accident over here turned out all right. ;-)
mandapanda
TRIBE Member
right? so sad.
Hi i'm God
TRIBE Member
lol my life insurance policy comes first then their resp. I want to be able to afford one of those hot live-in nurses for my sponge baths.