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going out alone/meeting new people

nikki.classics

TRIBE Member
do you ever go out to clubs/bars/events, etc by yourself? looking for your thoughts/advice on this ladies.

here's my story: i'm pretty new to TO. none of the people i know are into the same stuff i am really, especially night life. for example my roomates only ever want to go to top-40 bars...and that's ok once in a while, but it's really not my thing. i've always been a bit of a loner, and i'm pretty independent and i don't mind doing stuff on my own. is it a bad idea to go out dancing by myself?

i'm trying to meet some new people with similar interests for other things, ie signing up for group fitness programs. i love my friends, but i'm finding it tough lately because it seems like we don't have anything in common. i kind of feel like a loser posting this, but i could use some advice on meeting new people.

have you been in this kind of situation before? what do you recommend?
 
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erika

TRIBE Member
You are describing my situation :): I have some friends who like theatre, some who like books, some who like expensive restaurants or debates, and some who like this or that type of music, with very little crossover between them.
And I bore easily.
And I'm older than pretty well most people in clubs, because a lot of people my age have somehow decided that dancing until the wee hours of the morning is no longer appropriate for them or something.

I go out alone ALL THE TIME. I actually prefer it in many instances.
I generally end up chatting with people wherever I am, if where I am interests me.
If it's not, I move on (the advantage of arriving by yourself is that you aren't stuck somewhere if you don't like it).

So go for it. And next time you're somewhere kinda neat and see woman older than you with a hat dancing with a grin on her face, come and say hi - that will be me :).
 

Soulster

TRIBE Member
i used to ride solo a lot. like erika said, it means you're not tied down to anybody else's schedule/wants. i preferred it.

i also agree with michlerish. i recommend finding a party you want to go to, check roll calls to see who else on tribe is going. if you post that you're going solo and aren't sure you'll know anybody there, you'll often get responses in the roll call of "i look forward to meeting you." or "if you see me, come introduce yourself." most tribers are friendly.

once you meet one triber, you quickly meet the rest of them, plus their friends who are not on tribe. after awhile seeing people you know out at a party will be unavoidable!
 

dr. claw

Member
do you ever go out to clubs/bars/events, etc by yourself? looking for your thoughts/advice on this ladies.

here's my story: i'm pretty new to TO. none of the people i know are into the same stuff i am really, especially night life. for example my roomates only ever want to go to top-40 bars...and that's ok once in a while, but it's really not my thing. i've always been a bit of a loner, and i'm pretty independent and i don't mind doing stuff on my own. is it a bad idea to go out dancing by myself?

i'm trying to meet some new people with similar interests for other things, ie signing up for group fitness programs. i love my friends, but i'm finding it tough lately because it seems like we don't have anything in common. i kind of feel like a loser posting this, but i could use some advice on meeting new people.

have you been in this kind of situation before? what do you recommend?

I've met a lot of really interesting and eclectic people through night school courses- they tend to focus around my interests (writing and film) so it's really nice to interact with people you have common ground with. It's funny- prior to taking the classes I had the same issues you with- though I love my core group of friends (people I went to university with) to death, we only talk about and do certain things together.
 
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NemIsis

TRIBE Member
I have a very eclectic and diverse group of friends as well. We all share something that we enjoy and like you nikki, I have a group of friends who love Top 40 bars. They just accept I won't go out with them there unless it's their bday :p. And like erika, many of my friends in my age range have no interest in seeing bands/DJ's (and when they do,s you get the sad example which was the Sisters of Mercy concert last fall. Most just stood there). Perhaps this is why the majority of my friends are 10 years younger.

I've gone out by myself often and have had a great time, but I do prefer going with a friend/friends in order to share in the fun. Tribe is a great way to meet peeps. Also, March Break is coming up and I will want to break out, so you can expect a message from me. :)
 

skyparty

TRIBE Member
I've lived in Toronto for a year and a half and it is tough meeting new people and making different friends, but I have gone out solo, and it is fun! I've found It's also neat to join groups and meet new people there as well.

I've found that over the time I've lived here I'll meet a person or two that I really connect with, and you just filter.... you meet new people, hang out, see what happens and make a friend or move on...
 

Hawk Eye

TRIBE Member
You should join a sports team. There is something called Toronto Sports & Social club and you can sign up for sports either recreationally or intermediate. They have a sports program for singles only (not sure if you have a bf or married) http://www.torontossc.com/

There is also a 'positive fabulous woman' group. http://www.meetup.com/positivefabulouswomen/?a=wm1_gn
Positive Fabulous Women™ is social network of like-minded spirited, conscious & passionate women who are committed to their personal & professional success!
My roommate has met a bunch of ppl through that meet up group. I'm going to an event tomorrow actually with her.
Calling all Positive Fabulous Women to come out and celebrate International Women's Day! To mark this special day, we have put together a fabulous afternoon with an inspiring movie & a motivational speaker
They are showing a film called 'The power within'..
 

Casey

TRIBE Member
do you ever go out to clubs/bars/events, etc by yourself? looking for your thoughts/advice on this ladies.

here's my story: i'm pretty new to TO. none of the people i know are into the same stuff i am really, especially night life. for example my roomates only ever want to go to top-40 bars...and that's ok once in a while, but it's really not my thing. i've always been a bit of a loner, and i'm pretty independent and i don't mind doing stuff on my own. is it a bad idea to go out dancing by myself?

i'm trying to meet some new people with similar interests for other things, ie signing up for group fitness programs. i love my friends, but i'm finding it tough lately because it seems like we don't have anything in common. i kind of feel like a loser posting this, but i could use some advice on meeting new people.

have you been in this kind of situation before? what do you recommend?

I had the same problem when I first moved to Toronto. I went out by myself a couple of times at first, but I tend to be a bit shy so I never met anyone that way. I would just end up feeling like an outsider when I went out to clubs alone. I imagine the amount of fun you have when going out alone depends a lot on how outgoing you are.

Meeting people through tribe was way easier ;p
 

travel.size

TRIBE Member
It seem seems though there are a few of us that are in the same situation.

I joined a bunch of groups on meetup.com that interest me, I'll be honest I have yet to actually get out to an event but it's great to have the options available. They have one group that is specifically for women for friendship and they have girls nights and do bake offs and taste testing.
 
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mandapanda

TRIBE Member
I've gone out by myself often and have had a great time, but I do prefer going with a friend/friends in order to share in the fun.

for sure.

i had to go out alone all the time when i first moved here 8.5 years ago. ALL THE TIME. and then i met people and their friends and so on and so on. i think i used to be a lot more outgoing being out on my own than i am now, which was probably out of necessity, but maybe that was also because i just came back from travelling, so i was still in "talk to random people mode". now i don't meet as many new people cos when i go out cos i usually know several people there so i end up talking to those who i know. does that make sense? i just woke up from a nap! it was sort of liberating to go out alone as i did whatever i wanted to do, and didn't have to pander to anyone's schedule or anything. i always did find it funny when people would ask "who are you here with" and i would say "no one" and they would get all shocked, like "omg i can't believe you went out on your own".

that being said, i still end up going to a lot of concerts by myself now cos not many of my friends like the same music i do, outside of clubbing.
 

erika

TRIBE Member
^
makes total sense to me: I always say that I have the best time when I'm in tourist/travel mode, i.e. really looking at a place as a place to SEE, as though I had just walked out of a hotel.
 

nikki.classics

TRIBE Member
wow, thanks so much for all the advice! the ladies of tribe never disappoint :)

i was raised with the "don't talk to strangers" attitude, and people i know always tell me not to go out alone, etc....so it's nice to hear a different side for once! i used to be really shy, and doing things like this has definitely helped me to be more outgoing/confident. i used to go out alone in university, but i lived in guelph so it was a different sort of area. i guess i'll just avoid dark alleys and taking candy from strangers then?

hope to see you on the dance floor:D
 

Rihanna's 4head

TRIBE Member
Just becareful.

Follow the general rules of safe solo'ing if you're going into a bar/club byyourself so you stay safe:

-Don't drink anything you've left unattended (or you may get bit by Rufie-saurus Rex)

-Don't drink too much.

-Mace is illegal...but dog reppellant isn't ;)

-Let people know where you are going (text when you are there if you can)

-The good looking/Clean cut guy with the nice suit smiling at you is probably a Serial Killer

-If possible...hire a guy to keep an eye on you and work out signals (i.e. if I Take off my left pump and use the heel to scratch my back it means I wanna go home with this guy etc etc)
 

erika

TRIBE Member
General rules from Erika:
Ignore most of the ones on the previous post except perhaps keeping your drink unattended (though I do it all the time).
Always have enough money to get out of somewhere.
Wear shoes that enable you to bail from somewhere without having to play helpless babe looking for a cab because she can't walk.

Have fun! If you're not having fun, leave to find fun somewhere else :).
 
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Rihanna's 4head

TRIBE Member
General rules from Erika:
Ignore most of the ones on the previous post except perhaps keeping your drink unattended (though I do it all the time).
Always have enough money to get out of somewhere.
Wear shoes that enable you to bail from somewhere without having to play helpless babe looking for a cab because she can't walk.

Have fun! If you're not having fun, leave to find fun somewhere else :).


erika makes some great points...though mine were better.

Oh! Another good point!
-Go for the junk! A knee/kick to a mans groin will put most people to the ground. (don't do this if you like him though)
 

futronic

TRIBE Member
i used to go out alone in university, but i lived in guelph so it was a different sort of area. i guess i'll just avoid dark alleys and taking candy from strangers then?

hope to see you on the dance floor:D

Based on how messed up downtown Guelph is right now, I think you're better off in Toronto!

-- Jay aka Fut
 

nikki.classics

TRIBE Member
-Mace is illegal...but dog reppellant isn't ;)

guns are illegal...but my gun-show guns aren't!
good tips though, always good to play it safe.

oh and erika-- if i ever see you out i will most definitely come say hi. although i warn you in advance--i like hats, and i like them even more when i'm drunk, so i may attempt to try yours on.
 

[SQUARE]

TRIBE Member
I used to go out alone all the time. I've always been a bit of a loner and I like it that way. I don't like going to top 40 clubs alone as its more uncomfortable flying solo but if there's a dj I particularly want to see I don't mind making the trip out even if no one else is interested.

I say go for it :)
 
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Booty Bits

TRIBE Member
try to PM some tribe folks who are going out to events you want to attend. (roll call threads are useful!)

see if anyone is interested in meeting up for a drink beforehand, or at the venue.

i used to do that when i didn't have a crew to go with.

my tip is to avoid the "go back to someone's place to chill out afterwards" until you have met them a couple of times at least. back in the ravin' days, i made this mistake several times! people seem so fun and normal in the club/party, then you get into the light of day and think "WTF??"

also, always have enough cash on you so that you are able to bail whenever you need to.
 

Hawk Eye

TRIBE Member
Meeting new ppl has always been so easy for me.

For example: I went to that woman's group thing today to watch some motivational speaker with my roommate and I met this girl who lives a few buildings down from me. she's about my age and seems pretty fun..super nice. So we exchanged phone numbers. If only meeting guys were THAT easy. :) i love meeting new ppl. I need more single girl friends as all my girl friends are either married or have boyfriends.
 
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