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Getting someone to quit smoking

zee

TRIBE Member
Can this be done if the smoker doesn't really want to?

My dad's been smoking regularly since as long as I can remember and I think it's starting to catch up with him. He's getting this really nasty smoker's cough lately. I suppose he's lucky to be as healthy as he is right now.
Sometimes he says he'll quit but really deep down I don't think he means it. It's kind of symptomatic of his lifestyle - he doesn't really take care of himself, eat healthy, regularly exercise etc.
He's tried the gums but they obviously failed because he just didn't want to quit badly enough.

So should I be just giving up? I mean, its hard enough to get him to eat healthy.
Any advice/success stories out there? :confused:
 

Hawk Eye

TRIBE Member
The only way he can stop is if he WANTS to quit.

I'm a smoker.. and i've tried numourous amounts of times not to mention i have my friends raggen on my ass all the time and it does nothing but piss me off and i dont listen to them..

Usually when you get smokers cough is when you haven't smoked in awhile.. well for me anyways and my friends who smoke as i've asked them when they get smokers cough.. it's because you're trying to clear out all the tar and nasty stuff in your lungs..

meh, quitting smoking i was told is the hardest thing in the world.. harder then beating herione?? i doubt that much but i was told that..

just try to show your support and talk to him that's the best you can do..
 

deep

TRIBE Member
the patch is a lot more effective than the gum in so far as keeping a stream of nicotine in someone's system so they don't "crave" having a cigarette...have to break the behavioural component as well as the physiological component
 
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zee

TRIBE Member
hawk eye: is there a reason (other than the obvious), that you keep on ignoring your friends?
is the health issue just something you're not worried about? do you want to live your life the way you want to live it and fuck the consequences?
 

zee

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by afterglow
You can't make a smoker stop unless they are 110% ready to.
yeah this is true
the problem is he's incredibly stubborn, so i don't think it'll ever ever happen
 

OTIS

TRIBE Member
A couple summers ago, after constantly being badgered from her, my girl & I decided to quit together. A month or so into it by girl began to cheat.. I got annoyed and to get her to stay on program I became kind of a Nazi, refusing to hang out with her using the excuse that I didn't want to watch her be so weak, that it made me lose respect for her. It was a bit of a rough tactic, but in the end it worked.
 
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afterglow

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by zee
yeah this is true
the problem is he's incredibly stubborn, so i don't think it'll ever ever happen
Then there really isn't anything you can do until he is ready to stop.

Maybe you can show him cancerous pictures and whatnot, but that's about it.
 

mcbee

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by OTIS
A couple summers ago, after constantly being badgered from her, my girl & I decided to quit together. A month or so into it by girl began to cheat.. I got annoyed and to get her to stay on program I became kind of a Nazi, refusing to hang out with her using the excuse that I didn't want to watch her be so weak, that it made me lose respect for her. It was a bit of a rough tactic, but in the end it worked.
this is basically how i quit.

basic was my main force that kept me from not quitting. if he hadn't been so tough, i would have rationalized that a few cigarettes here and there would be fine. i would have failed without his guilt and anger.

one of our only real mean horrible fights was one night coming home from a club when he found out i had snuck a couple of cigarettes. i felt so horrible and mad at myself for dissappointing him, that i haven't had one since. that was two years ago.

:)sarah
 
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mcbee

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by OTIS
^^^ ah, so there you go folks! 2 for 2.
ah but i would argue that your (and basic's) technique works in a romantic relationship and not in a parent-child relationship.

my parents both smoked for 25 years. my whole growing up they were always smoking. nothing my brother or i could do would change their mind. together they finally quit. (i'm sure they resorted to guilt and meaness towards each other!!)



:)sarah
 

zee

TRIBE Member
heh yeah maybe i should ask my mom to lay the guilt on hardcore

and i realize that it's really hard to change someone's lifestyle and attitude if they're set in their ways.. i just feel that i still need to do something
 

DSV

TRIBE Promoter
I quit smoking because I have an extreme fear of death.

Watching all those anti-smoking ads on TV really helped. Also, Nicorette helped, but it took me 2 1/2 years of chewing that shit. I still chew a piece every 2 or 3 days.

The main thing to do is visualize how it would feel to have the doctor tell me I have lung cancer. Can you imagine how shitty that would be? The survival rate for lung cancer is next to nothing.

Maybe ask you Dad to imagine how it would feel to know he's only got six months left to live. VIsualize that moment when he first finds out, when the doctor tells him the bad news.
 

Access

TRIBE Member
I've helped one friend quit smoking who was dead set that she didn't want to quit because it was "part of her lifestyle"

It took about a year and a half of trying to get through to her, but in the end it worked and she thanks me for sticking with it.

There's 3 approaches that i tried. THe third one being the only one that actually made some ground

1. Scare tactics - people know smoking's bad for them. They're reminded every time they look at theier pack. Doesn't work.

2. Talking to her about how the Tabacco corporations are profiting huge by killing her. The business side; explaining how they want her to keep smoking to keep the money rolling in and thereby keeping investors happy. Worked a bit better than approach 1, but not enought to get someone to quit.

3. Emotional - Let them know that the only reason you've been nagging them to quit smoking is because you love them. And if they die because of it, remind them of all the people who will be devistated. People who love them and care about them. Cry if you have to. Show them how much their wellbeing means to you.

Just don't give up. Don't dismiss them as a smoker who can't stop because they don't want to. If you've ever lost a friend or relative to lung cancer you'll know that it could have been prevented.
I definately wish you luck in the case of your father.
 
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Bean

TRIBE Member
When I was around 8 or 9 or so, I learned that smoking kills. My father smoked a pipe a few times a week and the thought of him dying from it scared me. i had a chat with him and told him that i didn't want him to die. he quit cold turkey.

my partner had been a fairly heavy smoker for 6 or so years prior to dating me. he knew that i was (and still am) a non-smoker ... and ended up smoking his last cigarette the night we started dating (to his credit, he had been cutting down up till then and was making an honest go at quitting smoking :) ).

moral: having a loved one tell you to quit should work. :)

peace,

sabina
 

Day Dream

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Hawk Eye
meh, quitting smoking i was told is the hardest thing in the world.. harder then beating herione?? i doubt that much but i was told that..
thats what the junkies say.....
 

Skipper

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by mcbee

one of our only real mean horrible fights was one night coming home from a club when he found out i had snuck a couple of cigarettes. i felt so horrible and mad at myself for dissappointing him
awwww!
 

[SQUARE]

TRIBE Member
Well, 2 of my roomates and at least 3 of their friends quite because of a book called "The Easy Way to Quit Smoking" by Allan Carr. Apparently it doesnt tell you anything new but it just reinforces certain things....I don't know. I just know that it worked for them but they said that you have to be willing and ready to quit for it to have an effect.
 
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