Gay men in arranged marriages

[Ditto Much]

Couple of years ago I experienced sexual harassment for the first time. As a guy its rare that your asked for a blowjob by your employer and even more rare that the backrub you get is clearly a ‘bad’ touch.

This weekend I had a humorous strange encounter. I had made plans to hit a club with a new co-worker who had just moved to town. Being that I’m not getting out to much I figured it was a good idea by default. Well Friday plans turned into Saturday plans and going out to the casino/club with 4 people somehow became dinner for two at his place.


From here things became plainly obvious…

First there is no reason to suggest porn at 8 pm as viewing material between two guys. But I can ignore this on a cultural confusion. Next I can tell when your pouring twice as much booze in my glass than your own, and third there is no reason for you to touch my ass every time I have to cross your path. Christ twice with the two of us being the only people in the room he managed to ‘accidentally’ brush up and cop a feelski of my member.

Not that the butter chicken curry wasn’t good or anything but there is no amount of booze or chicken that’s going to make me switch teams.

The part that made me laugh was that this guy is in an arranged marriage and his wife is being shipped over come march. I can’t help but feel sorry for this poor boys wife, I mean shit he is clearly not into girls.

Part of me wanted to calmly explain to this guy the whole concept of playing for the home team and not switch hitting. The other part of me is convinced that I could snag free lunches and dinners for eternity without ever having to entertain any actual real contact, is it wrong to take advantage of married gay men when you're straight?

 

[acheron]

Christ for a second there I thought this about gay arranged marriages - I mean, how would it be possible? People aren't typecast to be homosexual at birth - it's discovered later on! Just imagine if your parents decided shortly after your birth that a) you were gay and b) they were going to set you up with a same-sexed spouse by the time you reached marriageable age...

 

[Thumpr]

HOT.

NOT.

HOT?

 

[Flashy_McFlash]

My advice would be to sit him down and tell him

a) That you're straight
b) That he should deal with this arranged marriage biz, STAT.

But in the face of free lunches/dinners/the occasional tossed salad, I probably wouldn't take my own advice.

 

[marcinm]

Just tell him you're straight and then ask him if he can hook you up with cute office girl.

 

[PRIMAL]

Was he at least cute?

 

[Thumpr]

just give him a little "mutual of Omaha"

 

[Bass-Invader]

i hope you countered his package brushing with a feel of your own.

 

[Ditto Much]

Originally posted by Flashy_McFlash
My advice would be to sit him down and tell him

a) That you're straight
b) That he should deal with this arranged marriage biz, STAT.

But in the face of free lunches/dinners/the occasional tossed salad, I probably wouldn't take my own advice.

See I'm pretty sure that if I tell him I'm straight I won't be getting any more home cooked Indian food. As well its another month before I get my car so having a set of wheels to take advantage of is a really good thing. Ye I will admit I'm taking advantage of a boy for food booze and a car but this has been the basis for at least half of the women who have dated me over the years so in the ballet of karma I just don't feel that bad.

In regards to the arranged marriage...

I think she is getting an american green card out of the deal so I don't know if she cares... I'll have to wait until I meet her to decide on this one.

 

[Ditto Much]

Originally posted by marcinm
Just tell him you're straight and then ask him if he can hook you up with cute office girl.

cute office girl is earing heels and a tight red sweater...


ummm

 

[Ditto Much]

Originally posted by Bass-Invader
i hope you countered his package brushing with a feel of your own.

nah but I did make it a point of felxing my ass as often as possible while I was checking out his DVD collection. Figured for a good chicken dish I'd at least give him that.

 

[MOD ONE]

don't return his calls.

 

[Chris]

hey at least you got yourself a nice dinner, putting up with some PDA for food doesnt mean you caught the ghey, does it?

 

[Sunshyne Jones]

open to interpretation?

since you raised the idea of cultural confusion here, could you be misinterpreting his ... um ... touches? in a number of cultures it is usual for men to be way more physically affectionate with one another than you usually see in Canada. when my ex and i went to india, he was very taken aback by the touchy feely friendly men he met until he realized the extent to which this type of physical affection is normal and innocent between guys. it's actually very nice imo. still, you know what you felt and that affection usually doesn't extend to copping a feel of the other guy's member i don't think haha.

maybe he was giving you more booze because he is a good host and didn't want to hog it all himself. and as for the porn thing, i know guys who would totally be fine if an offer to watch porn was made on a night when the guys are hangin' out together. maybe even if there are only two of them.

anyway, just wondering if the night was open to interpretation. still, you need to trust your instincts on these things, unless you've noticed your instincts are usually wrong.

 

[Bass-Invader]

you could always leverage sex from his future wife since she won't be getting any from him. you can probably get butter chicken out of the deal too.

 

[Bass-Invader]

Originally posted by Ditto Much
nah but I did make it a point of felxing my ass as often as possible while I was checking out his DVD collection. Figured for a good chicken dish I'd at least give him that.

that reminds me, i saw the preview for "nacho libre" and it looks like the funniest movie in the world.

 

[Ditto Much]

Originally posted by Bass-Invader
you could always leverage sex from his future wife since she won't be getting any from him. you can probably get butter chicken out of the deal too.

See but this just spells out being the third wheel circumstance. I once had two girls decide that the only way for them to have sex with one another and not be lesbians was for it to be a threesome.

Who'd have guessed that having sex with two women could be boring!!


But I'm holding off until I get to try her butter chicken

 

[depraved]

Are you sure it was just butter in the butter chicken?

 

[JESuX]

you should challenge this dude to a coffee drinking extravaganza.

whoever wins gets to be on top!

 

[Bass-Invader]

Originally posted by Ditto Much

But I'm holding off until I get to try her butter chicken

That's a euphemism for giving her a poop chute baby right?

 

[Ditto Much]

Re: open to interpretation?

Originally posted by Sunshyne Jones

anyway, just wondering if the night was open to interpretation. still, you need to trust your instincts on these things, unless you've noticed your instincts are usually wrong.

Whenever I left my moms house growing up her great peace of advice wasn't 'wear a hat' or 'call me if your late' nope she gave up on those. My moms great line to me was always 'go with your second thought!!' as my initial choices ten to cause the involvement of police and various others in positions of authority.


I dunno since I experienced the 'bad' touch a couple of years ago this is the first time i can clearly say that somebody was causing the same anxious sensation.

 

[Ditto Much]

Originally posted by Bass-Invader
That's a euphemism for giving her a poop chute baby right?

nah plenty of options for poop chute, with only two Indian restaurants in Omaha (neither that good) I have to be more conservative with the butter chicken option.

 

[Rataxès]

Originally posted by Ditto Much
nah but I did make it a point of felxing my ass as often as possible while I was checking out his DVD collection. Figured for a good chicken dish I'd at least give him that.

Gay for pay?

 

[why not]

Originally posted by Bass-Invader
you could always leverage sex from his future wife since she won't be getting any from him. you can probably get butter chicken out of the deal too.

i think you're on to something here.

it wouldn't be like the lesbian threesome, because in this case the gay guy will be the odd man out, and he'll probably just be happy to see you naked and relieved that you'll fuck his wife for him.

 

[Jeffsus]

I wouldn't jump to conclusions too fast and potentially embarass yourself, and him.

Where is he from? How long has he been here?

You dropped a few hints that could explain this situation in an entirely different light.

There are plenty of places left in the world where arranged marriages are still common. Those who have emmigrated but still agree to an arranged marriage generally also hold other traditional values from their home culture. If he is cooking chicken, he is obviously not vegetarian and that increases the likelihood that he is coming from a muslim country, which generally shun alcohol and gambling. He is new in town, so are you, relatively. This is my take on it:

He felt uncomfortable going to a casino cause it's probably pretty strongly against his morals. Kinda like taking my gramma to a strip club. But he's new in town and doesn't wanna look like a traditional stick in the mud so he keeps his anti-casino opinions on the DL. At the same time though, he does wanna make some friends at the office. Perhaps he felt most comfortable inviting you, because the others are American locals; and he can't invite the entire office. Perhaps the others have girlfriends or wives and he didnt know how to handle the invitations in that case. Perhaps he did invite others, but they just couldnt make it...

Anyways, as a matter of politeness, he is probably going to serve you booze as fast as you can drink it. So, you can't blame him for 'serving you twice as much', perhaps you were just drinking too fast (i dont blame ya). He himself is probably only drinking a 'token' amount of alcohol, to be friendly or polite in a western culture in front of you, and feels OK doing so in private because nobody (ie no other muslims) are there to see him.

The porn thing, I can totally see that. Perhaps he is anxious to demonstrate to you that you needn't see him as a typical, traditional 'ethnic' person. ie. "look dude, I have porn!!" Though it can come across the wrong way.

As for the touching, HA, that's normal almost everywhere around the world. Many people see Canadians as cold pricks because of our bizarre apprehension to behing touched. And that includes being touched on the butt, which may as well just be your elbow or shoulder in some countries.

Anyways, my point is, maybe you should reevaluate the situation and not be so paranoid.

Also you should get the fuck out of nebraska before you turn into a smelly pile of manure beside that long, boring as fuck interstate.

-jM
A&D