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Fun Thanksgiving Day Long Weekend Craft Project: Sea Turkey

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by nawberry, Oct 7, 2005.

  1. nawberry

    nawberry TRIBE Member

    I wanted to give Tribers some craft inspiration for the upcoming Thanksgiving long weekend and decided to make a turkey. But not just an ordinary turkey people, this is a fuckin sea turkey.

    Any of you who have had the misfortune of witnessing a turkey drown will attest to the fact that there is no such thing as sea turkey, but the beauty of crafting is that you are not limited by the harsh realities and confines of the real world. You can pretend that animals that don’t exist do exist (within reason).

    For extra creativity, try crafting on ketamine, I have come up with the most fucked up shit that way. On the other hand crafting on crack is not recommended, it is hard to maintain focus on your craft when all you can think of as the next sweet hit.

    So without further adieu, here is Professor Gobble:


    I call him Professor because he taught me the true spirit of thanksgiving and I call him Gobble because that was my great-uncle’s name. I pretend that he swam to me from Plymouth Rock and he is quickly becoming one of my closest friends. I can’t wait to eat him.

    Have a great weekend and Thanksgiving. This Thanksgiving I am particularly thankful for both tribers (some more than others) and for drug dealers that deliver.
  2. derek

    derek TRIBE Member

    that sea turkey's in a k-hole. look at the shifty eyes.
  3. nawberry

    nawberry TRIBE Member

    You are right. He seems messed. I think Professor Gobble’s addiction is starting to get the best of him. Kind of like Dwight Gooden circa 1988.

    I have noticed that money has been taken from my wallet and his grades are slipping.

    I was thinking of making a number of other craft sea turkeys to pose as his friends/family and then staging an intervention.
  4. Booty Bits

    Booty Bits TRIBE Member

    yeah, its definitely best to nip that sort of thing in the bud.
  5. LivingRoomPornstar

    LivingRoomPornstar TRIBE Member

    His googly eyes have lost their google
  6. Galactic Phantom

    Galactic Phantom TRIBE Member

  7. nawberry

    nawberry TRIBE Member

    Thats because of the drugs. They can make even the most googly eye lose its google.

    That turkey is the Robert Downey Jr. of crafts.

    But hopefully he can be like Steve Howe and make good on his second chance.
  8. Poot

    Poot TRIBE Member

    haha -- thanks for the late-Friday pick-me-up.

    ps: As discussed, it's probably for the better that Professor Gobble not receive any more "pick-me-ups".
  9. nawberry

    nawberry TRIBE Member


    I may need your help Poot with this turkey situation.

    I am not sure if I can really trust him anymore and am even beginning to question whether he is really a professor.
  10. Poot

    Poot TRIBE Member

    Part-time instructor, at best.
  11. deep

    deep TRIBE Member

    Look, if all you had to look forward to in life was teaching snotty frosh brats and then being carved up one Thanksgiving when you least expected it, then you'd be taking disassociative drugs too
  12. cosmosuave

    cosmosuave TRIBE Member

    Could you post a Bill of Materials to craft this little beast?

    So much for tuna being the chicken of the sea...

  13. nawberry

    nawberry TRIBE Member

    Thats funny as I have always viewed chicken to be the tuna of the land. Different strokes..

    Fuck, all I try to do is to selflessly make a beautiful craft in an effort to lift my (and others) thanksgiving spirits, and I wind up embroiled in a crazy web of lies perpetrated by a credential-embellishing, pipe-hitting, googly eyed, paper towel roll torsoed, lying freak.

    I think it may be best to set Professor Gobble on fire and put an end to this unfortunate chapter of my life.

    Oh yeah and to make a Professor Gobble of your own you need: 1 paper towel roll, Red and Green Felt (Doris at LewisCraft can help you with this), 2 medium size extra google googly eyes, an eight ball, a black puff ball (or just dip a cotton ball in hoisin sauce), Elmer’s glue, an exacto knife, and a maple leaf. After that this mofo pretty much builds itself. The hardest part is coming up with a name and aligning the eyes correctly.
  14. Sunshyne Jones

    Sunshyne Jones TRIBE Member

    aw nawberry
    you so funnee
  15. Soulster

    Soulster TRIBE Member

    What fun!

    I'm going to Lewiscraft to get the materials RIGHT NOW!

    This thanksgiving I'm going to be thankful for Nawberry and his original craft ideas.:D
  16. nawberry

    nawberry TRIBE Member

    I am thankful that I have discovered how much girls like crafts.

    And I am thankful for the lewiscraft 15% discount program which has saved me over $17 this year alone, and all the paperwork and red tape involved in getting the discount isn't really all that bad once you get the hang of it.
  17. kat

    kat TRIBE Member

    im doing crafts with kids this weekend, but it will be more along the lines of leaves glued on paper with paint all over them.

    if only their parents would let me give them k.. to help them focus and aspire to new and more complex crafts such as the sea turkey.
  18. nawberry

    nawberry TRIBE Member

    Kat it is probably best that you don’t do sea turkeys with the kids, because this is becoming a real mess.

    I just did some research and it turns out that this is the only Professor Gobble in North America:

    John T. Gobble, Jr., PhD, Associate Professor, Director of the Criminal Justice Undergraduate Program

    He is based in Pennsylvania at Point Park University. I called his number and the real Professor Gobble answered and assured me that my houseguest must be an imposter. He seemed quite worried to find out that someone was going around pretending to be him, I told him that he probably did something to invite that sort of activity but that I would try and help him. He also seemes perplexed when I wished him happy thanksgiving.
  19. nawberry

    nawberry TRIBE Member

    Oh no! I got home to find that Professor Gobble stole all of my stash. What is particularly troubling about it is that I keep my stuff hidden in a locked drawer. Also my craft sea turtle (Mr. Whacky T) is acting really out of sorts, I fear that something very bad may have been done to him. What a fuckin nightmare!

    It may soon be time to take some drastic action.
  20. Big Cheese

    Big Cheese TRIBE Member

    another 8 ball, an early morning visit to doris to get you sorted for the next task @ hand

    making another animal that will ultimately be your detective for this missing sea turtle case. CSI: Lewiscraft... a side sick of sorts, a hutch to your starsky, a luke to your bo duke

    i say shoot for making a penguin

    i tried to help you out by making this little guy, don't look much like a detective, or an actual penguin


    but this was my best effort...

    not a crafts kinda guy nawbs, sorry
  21. basketballjones

    basketballjones TRIBE Member

    this thread needs more Crazy Crafts with Molly Earl
  22. nawberry

    nawberry TRIBE Member

    Don't sell yourself short Big Cheese, crafting a bird that is looking upwards is by far the hardest perspective to master, and you nailed it!

    Where did you buy the googly eyes?

    I need a new source as I am no longer allowed in Lewiscraft (permanently this time) because apparently I am a "menace" to other customers and I had "been warned many times before".
  23. mingster

    mingster TRIBE Member

    i can't even tie my shoe when i do k.
  24. Prickly Pete

    Prickly Pete TRIBE Member

    are you sure its the k and not just you can't tie your own shoes?
  25. nawberry

    nawberry TRIBE Member



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