• Hi Guest: Welcome to TRIBE, the online home of TRIBE MAGAZINE. If you'd like to post here, or reply to existing posts on TRIBE, you first have to register. Join us!

Formula for the perfect ass!

EltrikSoulCntlr

TRIBE Member
Now, flaunt that gorgeous butt!

Asian News International
New York, April 14, 2006
If there's one thing that every woman has worried about at some time in her life, it’s got to be whether or not her derriere is desirable or not. Now, a psychology professor has come up with a scientific of answering the question by devising a numerical formula that measures the desirability of the derriere.

According to the New York Daily News women will now be able to check whether their posterior qualifies as desirable or not by using Manchester Metropolitan University psychology professor Davis Holmes’ formula.

The formula uses a point-based grading system across six characteristics of overall shape (S), circularity of buttocks (C), resilience or bounce (B), firmness (F), skin texture (T) and vertical ratio/symmetry (V).

In step one of the desirable derriere test; women need to rate the shape of their butt as per the following – a platter (1), a pizza (2), a two-day old balloon (3), a Christmas fruitcake(4) or a bowl of cherries (5). They also need to rate the circularity of their butt, and find out whether their butt is like – a homeplate (1), a football (2), a hacky sack (3), a Frisbee (4) or a volley ball (5).

For bounce, they have to choose between the options – drop’s like a dog’s ears (1), hangs like a hammock (2), springs like a spongecake (4), gets called ‘bungee booty’ (4) or is trampoline taunt (5).

For firmness, women have to choose whether their scores like a bean bag (1), a water balloon (2), a silly putty (3), a piñata (4) or a brick house (5).

Next comes skin texture. They have to determine whether their posterior is as lumpy as crème caramel (1), grits (2), applesauce (3) or rice pudding (4).

And lastly, for symmetry they have to check whether it scores as per the category of – a water droplet (1), drizzle (2), april shower (3) or a deluge (4).

Once these six characteristics have been determined, all that needs to be done as part of step 2 is apply the formula: ((S+C)*(B+F)/T)–V. In other words, women need to add the shape(S) and circularity(C) score. Then add the bounce (B) and Fitness (F) score. Multiply these two figures then divide by Texture (T) score, and finally subtract the Symmetry score.

If your butt clocks up a rate of 80 – it’s perfect. If it’s a 60, then please feel free to show off that swimsuit. If you score a 40, then it time to exercise. At 20, you need to hide your butt, and at under 20, as per the formula, women need to stay put in the house.
 
Cannabis Seed Wedding Bands

glych t.anomaly

TRIBE Member
those categories are lacking in clarity and associative comparison.

secondly, people have specific taste that is relative to them,

i think the psychology prof is a tool sniffing wanker, who has nothing better to do than than create more unrealistically contrived ideas of what womens butts are, how they are graded, and its shit like this that i absolutely hate about the northamerican standard of what looks good and what doesnt.


weaker than fuck


[jai]
 

Aerius Zension

TRIBE Member
I'm surprised to find he isn't black. But then again, the study isn't about the largest ass.

http://www.geocities.com/psydic/index.html

dahtvg2.jpg
 

deep

TRIBE Member
glych t.anomaly said:
its shit like this that i absolutely hate about the northamerican standard of what looks good and what doesnt.

Too bad he's from Manchester, England, eh?
 
tribe cannabis accessories silver grinders

Subsonic Chronic

TRIBE Member
haha... "formula for the perfect ass", a likely story.

"Uh... yes ma'am, I'm uhh... conducting a study, and for scientific reasons only, I have to take several measurements from your ass. Can you please bend over? In the name of science of course."
 

glych t.anomaly

TRIBE Member
deep said:
Too bad he's from Manchester, England, eh?

does it really matter?

according to the new york daily news the article said, so its being marketed to north america as well, where unreasonable aestheitic determination is alive and strong.

which was my main point

[jai]
 

Bass-Invader

TRIBE Member
what an idiotic study. I'm assuming that its true purpose is being misrepresented in the article.

on the other hand, what an excellent way to get to stare at women's butts.
 
tribe cannabis accessories silver grinders

EltrikSoulCntlr

TRIBE Member
glych t.anomaly said:
those categories are lacking in clarity and associative comparison.

secondly, people have specific taste that is relative to them,

i think the psychology prof is a tool sniffing wanker, who has nothing better to do than than create more unrealistically contrived ideas of what womens butts are, how they are graded, and its shit like this that i absolutely hate about the northamerican standard of what looks good and what doesnt.


weaker than fuck


[jai]

Ohh..sounds like somebody is a little bitter. Ah well maybe you can come up with your own formula. Maybe some like B=Bitter + P = politically correct + U = Uptight.... I dunno you seem smart enough I'm sure you can figure something out!:D
 

glych t.anomaly

TRIBE Member
EltrikSoulCntlr said:
Ohh..sounds like somebody is a little bitter. Ah well maybe you can come up with your own formula. Maybe some like B=Bitter + P = politically correct + U = Uptight.... I dunno you seem smart enough I'm sure you can figure something out!:D


i dont need a formula to determine how attractive various posteriors are IMO.

i just know. i have issues with the ramifications of categorically lopping women [ yet again ] into defined groups, its lame, and does far more damage than good.

[jai]
 
tribe cannabis accessories silver grinders

EltrikSoulCntlr

TRIBE Member
glych t.anomaly said:
i dont need a formula to determine how attractive various posteriors are IMO.

i just know. i have issues with the ramifications of categorically lopping women [ yet again ] into defined groups, its lame, and does far more damage than good.

[jai]

It's not lopping women into groups. Only their asses which is VERY important work! We must have a way to quantify the ASS this will bring world peace.

I wonder if this prof got a research grant for this project??!?!;)
 

glych t.anomaly

TRIBE Member
deep said:
Yeah, who cares about reading comprehension when we could be launching into tirades!


my arguments are actually pertinent to the thread, yours have only pointed out that the prof, being from manchester, is from manchester.

you ignore that it was a american newspaper it was printed in, and american people reading it, which again was my main point. i dont live in england, but i assume that the same detrimental aspects are transferable.

but if you need these little victories to make you feel better, yes deep you are SOOOOO right, he is from manchester, and i forgot to include that in my original tirade, happy now?

[jai]
 
Last edited:

EltrikSoulCntlr

TRIBE Member
glych t.anomaly said:
my arguments are actually pertinent to the thread, yours have only pointed out that the prof, being from manchester, is from manchester.

you ignore that it was a american newspaper it was printed in, and american people reading it, which again was my main point. i dont live in england, but i assume that the same detrimental aspects are transferable.


[jai]

It's also here....
http://www.hindustantimes.com/news/674_1033657,00310007.htm

so..... your point is moot!
 

deep

TRIBE Member
glych t.anomaly said:
you ignore that it was a american newspaper it was printed in, and american people reading it, which again was my main point. i dont live in england, but i assume that the same detrimental aspects are transferable.


[jai]

Actually dopey, it's been proliferated through a variety of media sources in the past week. As for my amusement, it's just coming from watching you back peddle over something so inane and so obviously in the wrong.
 
tribe cannabis accessories silver grinders

glych t.anomaly

TRIBE Member
deep said:
Actually dopey, it's been proliferated through a variety of media sources in the past week. As for my amusement, it's just coming from watching you back peddle over something so inane and so obviously in the wrong.


back peddle?

regardless of the source, its the overall impact that was my main concern, especially if its been circulated in a abundance of media sources.

you are amused by sad little things that make you happy if the only thing you commented on in this whole thread is that i ignored the fact that the prof is from manchester.

ive said it before and ill say it again deep, grow up.


[jai]
 
tribe cannabis accessories silver grinders
Top