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forget grammar...let's start with spelling

Agatka8

TRIBE Member
the new california governor, schwarzenneger has just announced an
agreement whereby english will be the official language of the state,
rather than german, which was the other possibility.
as part of the negotiations, the terminator's government conceded that
english spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5-year
phase-in plan that would become known as "austro-english" (or, perhaps
even better, "austrionics".)
in the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". certainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. the hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of the "k". this should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter.
there will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like fotograf 20% shorter.
in the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it
should go away.
by the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
during ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.



--
 

tobywan

TRIBE Member
A co-worker of mine has some of the worst grammar and spelling I've ever seen in my life...not sure if they ever completed Grade 8 English.
 

tEkKiD

TRIBE Promoter
Originally posted by Agatka8
the new california governor, schwarzenneger has just announced an
agreement whereby english will be the official language of the state,
rather than german, which was the other possibility.
as part of the negotiations, the terminator's government conceded that
english spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
5-year
phase-in plan that would become known as "austro-english" (or, perhaps
even better, "austrionics".)
in the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". certainly, this will
make the sivil servants jump with joy. the hard "c" will be dropped in
favour of the "k". this should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan
have one less letter.
there will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f". This will make words
like fotograf 20% shorter.
in the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted
to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.
governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the
horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it
should go away.
by the 4th yer peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th"
with "z" and "w" with "v".
during ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
kontaining
"ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensibl riten styl.
zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
understand ech oza. ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.



--

*yawn*
 
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