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Explaining raving to parents.

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by mingster, Mar 8, 2002.

  1. mingster

    mingster TRIBE Member

    Although my parents are open minded and trust that I party cause it makes me happy, I can't seem to get them to understand it. My dad says that because he's never experienced it, he probably will never understand it.

    I've tried explaining it to them. Making the correlation to hippies, talking about the ideology, the history, the love of music. But they say that in their eyes, it's nothing but a loud, drug-fest, stereotypically speaking of course. They know better than to think that's ALL it is.

    It kinda makes me sad. I wish they could understand how much partying has taught me. I wish they could see how it has shaped me and my beliefs and how I view people and the world. I wish they knew how the music has saved me, and breathed life into my otherwise sad person....

    But on the other hand, I kinda like that it's my own. That it something I share with only those who have shared it with me.

    I see now how the generation gap is created. Where parents begin to lose understanding of their children in some respects. And while I do believe and know that this isn't always the case, I think it's the prevalent experience.

    How do you explain it to your parents?
    How do they understand it?
    What are your experiences?

  2. I don't bother to.

    It opens a huge can of worms that I'm not ready nor willing to deal with

    From the Ministry of who knows they might even want to join me

    Prime Minister Highsteppa
  3. noahmintz

    noahmintz TRIBE Member

    I never really had to explain it my parents ...
    I never told them I was going to parties when I first started but they knew cause they're not dumb ... it's pretty ovious when you come home at 10 the next morning and you smell like shit that you've been out all night
    I just remember that I was talking to my mom a couple years ago and she asked me what I had done on the weekend
    I said not much ... then she asked if I had gone to that big rave (the Connected party with DJ Hype and Kenny Ken @ BLC)
    I said yea I had gone and she was like that's cool
    And that was it ... it's really the only time it ever came up
    When I go out now she just asks if I'm going to a "rave" just to see when I'll be home but that's about it
    The only thing she's really concerned about when I go out is that I'll have her car back by 11 the next morning so she can go to church
    As for my Dad ... he just tells me to be safe and to try not to get stabbed (I know that sounds really inappropriate ... but if you knew my dad you'd laugh)
    It's cool cause they were just totally understood that I was old enough to do what I want to do ... and they're not going to try to stop me from doing something I like
    Don't know if that helped at all
    Just be honest and they should understand
    Then again I'm pretty sure my parents hitchhiked to Woodstock (well atleast I'm sure my dad did) so they know what it's like to be young and have fun and aren't to critical about what I do for fun

    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 8, 2002
  4. pr0nstar

    pr0nstar TRIBE Member

    My parents know what they are in general.. but they think I go get drunk at them...

    I assume my parents know I've experimented with drugs, my dad's an ex-cop I'm pretty sure he's not ignorant.
    But that's about it, experimented...

    They know I go for the music...

  5. Karim

    Karim TRIBE Member

    Well, if you went to system lately, you would have probably spotted 3 or 4 really old people (45+) in the club raving along. :)

    Actually, I don't do drugs, and my parents know it's all about the music for me as well. It sure took a hell of a lot to gain trust though. 20/20 seemed to have brain washed them.

  6. Silverback

    Silverback TRIBE Member

    Haaa! .. I had to duck out of that one. Mother hears my records I play with at home, says she doesn't mind it actually. She has inquired about me taking her out to, oh System or something like that to hear some of the same music. Asked if anyone else "older" goes out to these "places".

    <--- Side stepped that idea real quick! :D
  7. joey

    joey TRIBE Member

    my dad doesnt care :(
  8. defazman

    defazman TRIBE Member

    I told my parents it was just like the bar without all the drunks trying to fight you. That made them happy enough.
  9. Guest

    Guest Guest

    My mom used to always plead that I didn't do E - cuz she's in medicine (ultrasound) and gets the lowdown from the doctors and such.

    My dad just thinks its great that I'm out doing what I love doing.

    They're pretty fuckin cool, thankfully. :)
  10. Adam Duke

    Adam Duke TRIBE Member

    It took 3 years for me to explain it to them. My parents are totally supportive of me though and trust my decision making abilities..well, now they do anyways.

    ..but you're right, they will never really know the attraction to it.

  11. mingster

    mingster TRIBE Member

    They trust and respect that I know to do the right thing...I am an adult after all.
    And they think I'm well-rounded. *snicker*

    But yeah, it's the difference between them knowing what it is on a textbook level, and them understanding what it really means to me inside.

  12. mingster

    mingster TRIBE Member

    And I wonder if the lack of understanding has created a bit of a rift. A distance. See, if raving has had such a big impact onto who I am, and they don't understand it, it can be a huge chuck of me that they don't understand. Not that this is necessarily true.

    Just a thought.

  13. Boo

    Boo TRIBE Member

    I live on my own.... and my folks have no idea, even though I make absolutely no effort to hide it. I have flyers all over my walls, they know my friends smoke up but think its just them. I've even had pills on my desk when my dad made an unexpected visit, and he didn't even notice.

    I guess he just thinks its someone else's kids ;)

    I've quit the drugs for a while now anyways, on my own not cause I should or I had to, cause I'm not an idiot :)

    But I couldn't really care less if they knew anyways...
  14. I think you're talking about the generational gap there, Mel, and I can assure that it exists.

    From the Ministry of knows from experience.

    Prime Minister Highsteppa


    i dont need to explain it to my parents, they already know:

    my mom likes happy hardcore with MC's
    my dad like's UK Hardhouse (and even has Beakers CD)

    they even came to Idance.my parents are hardcore :)
  16. joey

    joey TRIBE Member

    weins your mom is smart
  17. twist

    twist TRIBE Member

    Goin out to get fucked off my rocker at a rave bye mom.
  18. Zer0G

    Zer0G TRIBE Member

    You forgot the part about the orgies. Tell them it’s a big sex orgy too.
  19. Zer0G

    Zer0G TRIBE Member

    But seriously I’ve always tried to keep my parents away from my personal life since every time they got involved (years ago) it freaked the living shit out of them. Parents don’t want to hear about that stuff anyways, it just stresses them out. You have to feed them a happy picture because that is what they really want to see, some kind of ideal non-existent reality. Not a lot of people really want the hard truth about anything. Hence the famous parent line – It’s not my kid that’s “bad” it’s his/her friends!
  20. zoo

    zoo TRIBE Member

    my parents caught me trying the old "i'm sleeping over at a friend's house" when they called said "friend" and he had no clue what they were talking about

    although truthfully, it's been a long time [years] since i've come home in the morning

    i've been super-clubby for awhile

    as far as electronic music goes ...

    they think it's annoying
    i tell them it's intelligent dance music
    experimenting with unconventional sounds, pushing boundaries, creating new areas of music

    my parents still find it too repetitive and annoying

    although my dad hums along to cheesy-anthem trance sometimes

    and he taps sometimes when i have certain jungle tracks playing

    my mom dislikes all of it
  21. JEMZ

    JEMZ TRIBE Member

    So bad taste does run in the family :p



    you know you love it :D
  23. MalGlo

    MalGlo TRIBE Member

    your young.. it'll sort out :)

    typical dinner conversation at the nickleford household (thats me!)

    *dad says something outrageous*
    dave: 'your nuts! what are you on!?'
    dad: ' whatever was in your drawer in your room... the stuff is getting better'

    my parents are very.... concerned parents :) delicate.. ie. remember those 'big red' commercials.. you know.. the 'kiss a little longer.. stay close a little longer'.. my dad used to change the channel at the kissing part hahahaha

    anyways... i'm sure they realize I have dabbled... my sister noticed that a couple years ago on sundays i would keep my glasses on while at dinner..while every other day of the week i took them off...

    .. but at the same time they see my life is still on track.. so theres not much they can do but be there :)

    although I can't even RECALL the last time i dosed... and my drinking has beencut back HUGELY but thats my own personal perrogative.



    p.s. sorry if this dosn't make much sense.. i'm at work and was just woken out of a nap from a caller so i'm still semi-asleep :)
  24. djazonic

    djazonic TRIBE Member


    well my parents have both known for about the past 4 years.... i think they found out when i came home from a shindig at 10am, with no house key's totally wacked on zoomers in the middle of a manitoba blizzard.... but thats another story......

    but now they know what its all about, they have seen the flyers, the pictures, and watched me travel across the country for them....

    my dad has been to 2 of the three events i have thrown, and although he didnt understand it (the lights out, and all the funny clothes) he thought what i did, and the whole thing in itself was very impressive, to the point were both my parents actually talk about it to other parents in that "my son.... " parent like way (you all know what i mean)... its the same way with almost all my family (aunts, uncles, cousins etc) they all know about it, and always asking me about it....

    the only thing that they dont like is the fact that a rave has cost me $25,000 and over 2 years of my life to pay it off (to them, thats a car, or my degree waiting to be paid for)... bu on the other hand they are impressed that i am paying of a $25,000 debt that legally i have no responsibility for....

    anyways thats about it.... my parents are aware, and know whats going on... my mom being a nurse, isnt stupid about the drugs, they know that i still smoke pot, and they're response is "its only pot"...... ah well.... :)

    as for them liking the music, my mom hates the bass, but doesnt mind plastikman stuff, and Oliver Lieb's LSG "into deep" cd, and my dad acutally has had me burn him old scooter tracks (fire, im raving, im raving, and a few others), and they are impressed with my collecton of vinyl.... but thats about it.....

    have a good day.....
  25. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I was always honest with my parents about where I was going and what I was doing there.... minus the drug part of course.

    they were cool with it from the start just as long as I let them know where I was going. Hell they even helped me to throw my first party.

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