1. Hi Guest: Welcome to TRIBE, Toronto's largest and longest running online community. If you'd like to post here, or reply to existing posts on TRIBE, you first have to register on the forum. You can register with your facebook ID or with an email address. Join us!

Engagement without a ring???

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by DaftPunky, Aug 27, 2003.

  1. DaftPunky

    DaftPunky TRIBE Member

    Ok, ok only one more thread an' I'll stop being a post-whore.

    Spoke with an old girlfriend on the phone last night. She called to inform me that her boyfriend recently proposed. We've remained good friends throughout the years, so I was actually one of the first people she called to tell, and she was very excited. So, we talked for a few minutes about it (wedding date, etc.) and to keep the conversation (along with her excitement) going, I asked her if the ring he picked out was everything she ever wanted in an engagement ring. Appropriate question, I thought anyways.

    Immediately after I threw that question over the phone line, she became very quiet. I asked if she was "still there" and she replied, but her tone was completely opposite from the past 5 minutes. I asked what was wrong, and she just realized that he actually hadn't slipped a ring on her finger yet. Just asked her.

    I thought rightaway that this dude was brave. If I'm ever gonna propose, I'm showin' up to THAT party with the goods in pocket. Exceptions aside, don't you girls expect to see a ring when you hear a proposal?

    She's kinda upset now because its not like he's broke. He makes good cash, and could have afforded a ring. Then, right away in typical hysterical-girl fashion, she started questioning his committment, etc., blah, blah and basically freaked out. As a side note, this guy is a total idiot to boot. She's a really great girl, but has caught him doing EVERYTHING under the sun. She can't even remember how many times she caught him in the act of cheating on her... but she still wants to marry him. I didn't talk about anything like that, but I think she needs to shake her head as well. But I'm not about to intervene... fuck that.

    I feel kinda bad because I brought it up, but seriously... if he can afford it, why would a guy propose without a ring to back it up?
  2. The Watcher

    The Watcher TRIBE Member

    Onion Rings are Very affordable.
  3. Ditto Much

    Ditto Much TRIBE Member

    Christ even homer gave marge a ring (all be it an onion ring)
  4. Bumbaclat

    Bumbaclat TRIBE Member

    because he didn't start the day planning on asking her to marry him. It was an impulse.

  5. luvslife

    luvslife TRIBE Member

    How do you "just realize" that he didn't put a ring on your finger? I mean the two go hand in hand, right? Unless it's something you've discussed previously. Either way, I'm surprised it didn't occur to her prior to your conversation. Very strange.
  6. mcbee

    mcbee TRIBE Member

    i'm far from traditional, but yes i do expect a ring during a proposal. to sorta seal the deal if you will.

    i think as a couple you can talk/plan/decide to be married, but in my traditional romantic heart, i like the idea of the guy pulling out a ring and asking the question.

  7. Chris

    Chris Well-Known TRIBEr

    A brave man indeed. There are always ring pops. not only does she get a ring, but a tasty candy to enjoy.

    Question you said something that she has caught him cheating on her more than once....odd and yet she wants to marry him still?
  8. Littlest Hobo

    Littlest Hobo TRIBE Member

    This whole 2-month salary ring business is a shakedown, IMHO. But if he's dumb enough to get married, she should fall in line and get a ring of sorts (coxk ring?).
  9. DaftPunky

    DaftPunky TRIBE Member

    He did it yesterday... and was just caught up in the excitement I think.

    It actually makes me laugh... obviously it didn't matter to her at the time, cuz she didn't even realize it. But then as soon as I brought it up, it suddenly became very important.

    I've heard of guys popping the question, then immediately making plans to go out ring shopping together. That's kinda cool, but it doesn't seem like that's the plan here. I'm sure she'll keep me posted... always does.
  10. swenard

    swenard TRIBE Member

    I could imagine NOT giving a ring if I were to do it on an Impulse at some super romantic moment in time. But, if I knew I was popping the question, I would definetly have a ring. Even if it were only a $200 ring or something.

    P.S. How much are you supposed to spend on an engagement ring? I have heard two months salary. But, that is ALOT of money! I'm not saying I make some gross amount of salary or something. But, two months salary is a DAMN NICE RING if you ask me!!!!!!!! It would be like wearing a used car on your finger!!!!!
  11. Chris

    Chris Well-Known TRIBEr

    Three months salary
  12. luvslife

    luvslife TRIBE Member

    I don't buy it. Something else is going on. (IMO)
  13. The Watcher

    The Watcher TRIBE Member

    As in the WHOLE 3 months Salary?

    Like including the money I spend on rent?

    Jebus... tha'd better be a nice ring.
  14. That's JUST for the wedding ring.
  15. DaftPunky

    DaftPunky TRIBE Member

    This is the unofficial equation:

    Ask her the same question in a hypothetical conversation. Take the number she gives you, then multiply it by 2.

    Then go ask a female-friend of yours that has somewhat similar tastes as your gf, and make a note of that number. She'll likely give you a more realistic answer.

    If the two numbers aren't the same, meet halfway between the two. If they are indeed the same, spend another 35% on top of that. That is your answer.

    Or so I've heard.
  16. Chris

    Chris Well-Known TRIBEr

    Hey I dont make the rules, surely your love for your lady is enough, I say no to the engagement ring. I mean what do you get in return.........;)
  17. DaftPunky

    DaftPunky TRIBE Member

    Well, I suppose you're right. They just got back together after a nasty breakup, and he decided to jump right back in with a proposal. I last spoke with her two months ago when he dumped her. Last night to tell me the news was the first time since then.

    Could that be the "something else" you're thinking about?
  18. Chris

    Chris Well-Known TRIBEr

    I like this method :)
  19. luvslife

    luvslife TRIBE Member

    Engagement ring. Wedding bands are usually much less.
  20. kmac

    kmac TRIBE Member

    That's OK, you can recoup some of your losses at those rackets known as Jack 'n' Jills, stags, showers, blah blah blah.
  21. Evil Dynovac

    Evil Dynovac TRIBE Member

    When I proposed to my wife I did not have a ring. The reason I didn't was because I didn't want to buy something of that expensive without getting her involved in the process.

    The very next day we went to a personal friend jeweller and started the process of picking out the diamond she liked. Then we poured through magazines and went to other jewellery stores to look at ring styles. Together we came up with what my wife thought was perfect. The jeweller made the ring and it was exactly what my wife wanted.

    Money was never discussed. The jeweller and I had that meeting separately. My wife just picked out what she wanted and got it. I figure if she's going to wear it for the rest of her life it should be exactly what she wants. Who wouldn't rather have a custom job than a store bought that may end up not to your taste?

    My dad gave me a hard time for doing it this way but I stand by my decision.
  22. mingster

    mingster TRIBE Member

    Meh...I don't need a ring.
  23. kmac

    kmac TRIBE Member

    Evil Dynovac: That's sweet. That's the way I'd want things done.
  24. Littlest Hobo

    Littlest Hobo TRIBE Member

    25% of your annual daily grind, to 'prove your commitment'. :rolleyes:

    I thank baby Jesus and baby Krishna my girlfriend isn't a nutter.
  25. DaftPunky

    DaftPunky TRIBE Member

    No way. That was cool what you did. I'd like to do it that way myself, if I ever propose to someone. I'd much rather she got *exactly* what she wanted in a ring thats supposed to last a lifetime, rather than my best guess.

    Its tough decision though... lotsa girls out there seem to want their men to surprise them. You really gotta know yer woman to know which approach to take at that point.

Share This Page