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email etiquette: first name greetings

mingster

TRIBE Member
my third-party logistics partner has just hired 2 new people to service our account. i will be working closely with these two and i just received my very first email from one of them this morning. it goes:

"melanie:

bla bla bla bla blaq bla bla bla bla

thank you"

obviously something i've seen alot (more understandable if there have been multiple emails going back and forth and frustration is starting to build), but this chick is communicating with me for the first time ever, and i am totally in awe of this style of communication. can someone please help me understand why someone would start off an email relationship like this? what's wrong with starting off with "hi"? is this an attempt at being serious? professional? whatever it is, it's unpleasant and abrasive. why, oh why, do people do this.

can i respond to her and insist that she lighten up?
 

Chris

Well-Known TRIBEr
Agreed, there should be classes, courses, in email etiquette. I usually call someone when I need something, then follow the call up with what’s agreed upon. Always trying to keep it short and sweet. Who knows though. I’ve even seen people using capital letters for words they are trying to emphasis.

Mind you, I am no shinning example of what to do, and what not to do.
 

erika

TRIBE Member
First: is that person's first language english?

Next: they may just want to sound all serious and don't feel it's right to say "hi" when they don't know you.

Finally: they may just be an idiot

That's the challenge with email: so much directness, so little context!

Reply with a Hi so and on, and see what you get back.
 
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Ho||yw0oD

TRIBE Member
I see all sorts of email writing styles and I agree that common email etiquette would be to start off with "Hi [name], [first sentence pleasantry]. [Concise email]. Thank you for any help or advice you can provide. Regards, [name]."

You know what I have an email beef with? People forwarding my one-on-one emails to others, particularly when my writing was direct or not tailored to be overly diplomatic.

I've learned to never write anything in an email that I would not be willing to have everyone read.
 

acheron

TRIBE Member
I don't really pay too much attention to salutations except for the people who transpose my first and last names. We use Outlook, so everyone's name appears last name, first name on the header. This is known... Everyone has it. My last name, Grant, could also be a first name - I get that - but on what planet is Hamish ever a last name?

So I get all these emails, phone calls even, addressing me as "Grant".

I usually respond my using their last name first as well. Some of them get indignant, "why are you calling me Sanderson my first name is John" - "well my first name is Hamish so there's that..." ... I've worked here for almost 15 years and there are some people who have been there since day one with me and even with repeated reminders they just don't get it. Yeesh. End rant.
 

mingster

TRIBE Member
Reply with a Hi so and on, and see what you get back.
i gave her a "thanks maria, please let me know when you hear back. looking forward to working with you!"

and her response was "melanie: bla bla bla bla bla. please let me know if there's anything else i can do for you".

i'm pretty sure she simply has no personality.

hollywood: RIGHT? how bout starting off with a "hi"? otherwise you appear terse. not a good way to start off a relationship with a client. anyway, it's a small thing, but a weird thing.
 

kuba

TRIBE Member
Are you asking why she went straight down to work? I use email all the time with people that I'm new with and those I've dealt with forever and I cannot understand your point. Can you clarify?
 

Hi i'm God

TRIBE Member
It's someone who doesn't know how to email cause; txting.

If you put the messages together it will look like an IM chat window.

Melanie: blah blah
Maria: Blah blah back
Melanie: blah blah
Melanie has left the conversation in disgust
 
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videotronic

TRIBE Member
i gave her a "thanks maria, please let me know when you hear back. looking forward to working with you!"

and her response was "melanie: bla bla bla bla bla. please let me know if there's anything else i can do for you".

i'm pretty sure she simply has no personality.

hollywood: RIGHT? how bout starting off with a "hi"? otherwise you appear terse. not a good way to start off a relationship with a client. anyway, it's a small thing, but a weird thing.
i would much, much, much rather have someone just get right to the point than waste my time with platitudes that we both know are meaningless. if i want to be talked nice to ill call a phone sex line...this is business, lets do business. as long as the person isn't being offensive i would always respect someone who is direct more than someone who is "polite" via email...that person obviously has other stuff to be doing and is aware of the value of their time.
 

acheron

TRIBE Member
I was curious about that too... is it that you expect them to call you Ms. Mingsterslastname or Mrs. MisterMingsterslastname? Or was it the lack of a greeting like Hi or Hello or Dear Mingster or..

I do run to the first name only but usually with a comma and only when I want to tell them off. Otherwise it's hey there or I just launch right into the body of the message, no greeting.. depends on how deep into the conversation we are.
 

mingster

TRIBE Member
I was curious about that too... is it that you expect them to call you Ms. Mingsterslastname or Mrs. MisterMingsterslastname? Or was it the lack of a greeting like Hi or Hello or Dear Mingster or..

I do run to the first name only but usually with a comma and only when I want to tell them off. Otherwise it's hey there or I just launch right into the body of the message, no greeting.. depends on how deep into the conversation we are.
it's just the lack of a "hi" in the greeting, while going straight to my name as a greeting, with a colon, and then the message. like you say, you do this when you want to tell someone off. 'hi mingster' would have been more appropriate and less angry and pissed off sounding, especially to start off a relationship. like i said, this is the very first email she sends me. could have been a little friendlier, considering the amount of communication to come between us.

videotronic, maybe she thought i'd want to her get right to the point. you could be right.

but don't you guys find it abrupt when someone starts off an email to you with just your first name? it's so abrasive! i dunno, just turns me off.
 

glych t.anomaly

TRIBE Member
I think its absurd to preface someones name with ' Hi ' or " Hello ' every time. IMO its not a requirement, and someone can still be pleasant without using them.

when i walk up to someone, i dont say Hi everytime. why would i write hi or hello in every email.

If you know their intent is not malicious, or to be terse, addressing you by your given name could be as harmless as them learning it through repetition.

To assume because someone doesnt write emails in EXACTLY the format you deem acceptable, and that in doing so means they are inferring something they are not seems counter intuitive.

are their rules that state specifically that becuase they used your name and colon, that it infers only these parameters and only a limited Out come?

there is a point where you can be too picky about how someone communicates with you.
 
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derek

TRIBE Member
i don't generally use salutations in business emails. i will say please and thank-you, but as far a 'hello' or 'hi', i generally skip. it's about knowing your audience though and when i do say 'hi' or 'hello' it's generally entry to mid level staff, anyone at the director and above level i skip it but that's because, like me, they generally want to cut to the chase.
 

erika

TRIBE Member
my favourite is when someone writes
"Dear Ericka" when it's clear from the email address they selected that there is no c in my name: I would rather they skip the greeting entirely!
 

Spinsah

TRIBE Member
i don't generally use salutations in business emails. i will say please and thank-you, but as far a 'hello' or 'hi', i generally skip. it's about knowing your audience though and when i do say 'hi' or 'hello' it's generally entry to mid level staff, anyone at the director and above level i skip it but that's because, like me, they generally want to cut to the chase.
I'm pretty sure it was one too many salutations monopolizing the time of our job creators that plunged us into the last recession.
 

lucky1

TRIBE Member
I would not generally send an email starting with "hi so and so" unless it is someone I work with directly who I also would say "hi" to in the hallway.

I generally start an email with "Good Morning", or "Good Afternoon", and I usually put the person's name, but not always. Sometimes a first name is too informal, so I use the Mr. or Ms. + last name.

Sometimes when an email has gone back and fourth you just get right down to business with the reply and drop the names altogether.

It depends on the situation.

I work in Law, so some emails call for a style similar to a formal business letter, while others are very informal, like "hey, there is a fax for you at reception".

I've had emails that started with Alyssa: blah blah, but this is usually if I am copied on a CC, or forwarded an email and one of my lawyers is requesting I take care of something that is mentioned in the email (like prepare something and fax it out, or arrange a courier pick up)
 

videotronic

TRIBE Member
like you say, you do this when you want to tell someone off. 'hi mingster' would have been more appropriate and less angry and pissed off sounding, especially to start off a relationship.
dont take this the wrong way, but that ^^ makes you sound batshit nuts. its an email. get over it.
 
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acheron

TRIBE Member
Hamish is the Scottish version of James (Irish would be Seamus) ... Very common in Scotland, not so much elsewhere!

But even still. When the convention in email headers is clearly "Lastname, Firstname", why would anyone assume that it would be reversed?
 

Bass-Invader

TRIBE Member
I don't see a problem with that email format. It's straight to the point, and there's no suggestion that the omitted content was rude.
 

R4V4G3D_SKU11S

TRIBE Member
But even still. When the convention in email headers is clearly "Lastname, Firstname", why would anyone assume that it would be reversed?
At a quick glance it would be an honest mistake. Although if it was done repeatedly for years on end, it obsviously is a whole other issue.
 
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