Dog poop

[Balzz]

So for the last few days, I've noticed that a most responsible pet owner has been allowing their dog to relieve itself of solid waste on my front lawn, without bothering to pick it up. So I turn to trusty ol technology - I point my webcam to my front lawn, and download at app called homewatcher that takes pics continously, and compares the current image with the previous image. If it detects motion, it starts to record video. Good old technology comes to the rescue and I find the person.

All this wonderful technology however, culminates a low tech resolution - I carry over the now-frozen turd in a plastic bag and drop the turds on their door step - one turd on the mat, and the other on the interlocking brick. I cover the turd with the bag then slowly push down with my shoes making sure it works itself nicely into the mat, and the interlocking brick.

Will continue making recordings over the next few days. If this still happens, step 2 is all over their doorknob and door.

Step 3 - HARPOON THEM IN THE EYE.

 

[daddyiwantchocolate]

<3

 

[catilyst]

nice work! I live in a house thats at a corner so all through the summer people place signs for garage sales in front and beside my house. Anything there a few days after the sale gets thrown on their front porch. yeah I'm a bad ass.

 

[Balzz]

Originally posted by catilyst
nice work! I live in a house thats at a corner so all through the summer people place signs for garage sales in front and beside my house. Anything there a few days after the sale gets thrown on their front porch. yeah I'm a bad ass.

HARPOONS ARE THE ANSWER!

 

[CiG]

...

HEllO?

If you did that to me I'd break all your windows...

BYe nOW
Luka

 

[Balzz]

Re: ...

Originally posted by CiG
HEllO?

If you did that to me I'd break all your windows...

BYe nOW
Luka

And I would have a video recording of it...which would lead to me purchasing cans of gasoline.

 

[Balzz]

Which I would dip my harpoons in, ignite, and fire at your eye.

 

[daddyiwantchocolate]

A tin-foil turkey broiling pan filled with gasoline and placed under a car's fuel tank (lid unscrewed for maximum damage) and then lit is a wonderous thing.

Jebac, don't try this if you value your eyebrows.

 

[Balzz]

Originally posted by daddyiwantchocolate
A tin-foil turkey broiling pan filled with gasoline and placed under a car's fuel tank (lid unscrewed for maximum damage) and then lit is a wonderous thing.

Jebac, don't try this if you value your eyebrows.

Something I've always wanted to try is to fill a film canister with comet placed into a container of gas. Gas eats away at the film canister which acts as a time delay, then kablammo!

Wonder if it really works.

 

[catilyst]

Re: ...

Originally posted by CiG
HEllO?

If you did that to me I'd break all your windows...

BYe nOW
Luka

uM K yOU're mISsed aLrEadY

 

[daddyiwantchocolate]

Originally posted by Balzz
Something I've always wanted to try is to fill a film canister with comet placed into a container of gas. Gas eats away at the film canister which acts as a time delay, then kablammo!

Wonder if it really works.

It's best if I don't find out if that really works.

p.s. how long does it take on average? and what if you place the comet simply in a ziplock bag, how long would that hold you down for, say if one were looking to cover with an alibi?

p.p.s. I can't beleive this would work. I'm going to look up the chemical comp of comet. I doubt it would cause combustion if combined with gasoline. And I also doubt that gas would eat away thick plastic.

 

[NuFroggie]

Here is an ode to my dog maggy
who I follow around with a little baggy,
Lawn after lawn,
tree after tree
I pick up the poop that Maggy leaves for me.
Why must I pick up poop that will decompose?
I believe it's to avoid getting a ticket from the lawmakin' ho's!

 

[stir-fry]

Originally posted by Balzz
Which I would dip my harpoons in, ignite, and fire at your eye.

HAHHAHA

 

[Stan]

I always pick up after my dog. Even when he double-poops. The worst, however, is when he poops at the beginning of the walk, so I end up having to carry around a bag of stinky poop for 1/2 an hour.

 

[Balzz]

Originally posted by Stan
I always pick up after my dog. Even when he double-poops. The worst, however, is when he poops at the beginning of the walk, so I end up having to carry around a bag of stinky poop for 1/2 an hour.

You stole my location! HARPOON!

 

[jebac]

it was me, not my dog that pooped on your lawn, when you let your guard down for a split second

and ill do it again

good day

-jebac

 

[daddyiwantchocolate]

Launch the harpoon missiles at his missing eyebrows, balzz.

 

[CLUSTER]

Originally posted by Balzz
relieved himself of solid waste on my front lawn

Sorry, that was me
It's actually been me all these years.....

 

[OTIS]

I *dream* every day of somehow applying technology towards vigilante justice.

My hero.

 

[Stan]

Originally posted by Balzz
You stole my location! HARPOON!

NOOOOOOOOOOO MY EYES!!!!!!!!

 

[sk8]

Originally posted by catilyst
nice work! I live in a house thats at a corner so all through the summer people place signs for garage sales in front and beside my house. Anything there a few days after the sale gets thrown on their front porch. yeah I'm a bad ass.

i also live in a corner house.

across from a hospital.

people sit on my lawn all the time. i like going out and doing something outside while they are there on their smoke break and staring at them until they feel uncomfortable and move. the best is catching someone littering and saying "does my lawn look like a garbage can/ashtray?". we had quite the problem with sars masks in our recycling bin and on the lawn, but that's over with now.

the worst is people waiting to pick people up from the hospital who park in my driveway or idle right across it.

after many hand signals to get out of the way to one moron i actually had to unroll the window and yell "get out of my fucking driveway" he moved pretty damn fast after that.