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crushes while dating

Kiera

TRIBE Member
Have you ever delevoped a serious crush on someone while you were in a relationship? Did you feel guilty? Is it normal after a while to start finding other people attractive after you've been with one person for so long?

Cause Ive been in a relationship for almost 4 years now. I love my boyfriend to death but theres this guy that rides my go train and for the most part I see him everyday. This guy is HOT! Not in your typical sense of the word hot but there is just something about him that makes me so giddy. I feel like im back in high school whenever he's around. Lately I cant stop thinking about him and its making me feel so guilty. Oh the fantasies. I need to go to confession. Is this normal???
 
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Spinsah

TRIBE Member
I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

Keep in mind though, we're defined by our inactions as much as our actions.
 

kate

TRIBE Member
There's one scruffy super hot guy who I see around Queen/Richmond and Bathurst on my way home from the gym and at Gypsy sometimes. He looks young and has the whole scruff tattoos baggy clothes look. I know he is a friend of friends but I don't even know his name but sometimes when I see him I get so turned on I feel like I might puke.

EDIT-I realize I left out the context that I have a boyfriend who I think is the sexiest man alive and love tons and tons, but I'm in a relationship I'm not BLIND
 

Skipper

TRIBE Member
Would you ever actually do anything about it?
If he approached you and was interested, what would you do?

Thinking someone is hot on the train is one thing, we all think people are hot...but if you are thinking about him when you're not on the train, or you would chat with him as if you didn't have a boyfriend, then thats probably a sign that you are bored. The problem is when he actually does approach you, you will know deep down if you've got a problem.
 
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madnezz

TRIBE Member
Here's the test of your relationship: If you find someone crazy hot, try talking to them for ten minutes to see what kind of person they are. If you're really that in love with your boyfriend, you'll find flaws in this hot guy's personality which will make you realize how good you have it with your guy.

After a while you'll realize that your relationship with your boyfriend is above anything you could have with the random people you're physically attracted to.
 

Skipper

TRIBE Member
madnezz said:
If you're really that in love with your boyfriend, you'll find flaws in this hot guy's personality which will make you realize how good you have it with your guy.
Absolutely.
 

Kiera

TRIBE Member
Well yeah, both of you are right. But trying to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger on a crowded go train is a bit hard. Things are complicated by the fact that my guy is in Ireland at the mo' and I havent seen him since the end of January and he's not due here for another month or 2. Spring time horniness is kicking in full gear. Thats why this guy is turning me on so damn bad.
 

kate

TRIBE Member
I don't know if it is a matter of finding flaws in the other person's personality--I would say that if you don't find flaws in the person, find them attractive and STILL know that your partner brings you more than anyone else could, you're doing ok.

I can meet someone who i think is hot, smart, funny, etc...but the reality of the situation is that to me I could meet a Gael Garcia Vince Vaughn genius hybrid and still know noone is a better match for me or makes me happier than my BF.
 

Thumpr

TRIBE Member
the ability to CRUSH on another while in a relationship proves you don't love them, and they don't love you.

liquidate all mutual assets and move on.
 
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Spinsah

TRIBE Member
I have public transit crushes nearly everyday.

But I don't think I'd ever talk to someone in that context.
 

solacevip

TRIBE Promoter
Kiera said:
Thats why this guy is turning me on so damn bad.

When your boyfriend comes back and the two of you are "doin' it", just close your eyes for a moment and picture the other guy doin' you. If it turns you on then you've managed to fulfill the fantasy in your mind without stepping over the line.


Just be careful not to scream the other guy's name. :p
 
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sugar

TRIBE Member
I had crushes on other guys all the time while I was with my ex. I don't think it's a problem unless you act on it and hide it from your boyfriend.
 

vinder

TRIBE Member
Thumpr said:
the ability to CRUSH on another while in a relationship proves you don't love them, and they don't love you.

liquidate all mutual assets and move on.
bingo.
 
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