• Hi Guest: Welcome to TRIBE, the online home of TRIBE MAGAZINE. If you'd like to post here, or reply to existing posts on TRIBE, you first have to register. Join us!

chat with god

faunty

TRIBE Member
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

my conversation:

Me:
i called you
God:
When?
Me:
for the techno party
God:
Your purpose is the techno party.
Me:
your right
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
you speak the truth
God:
Thanks for your criticism, .
Me:
is god in everything
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
like he-man?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
are you the radiance of the sun
God:
Yes I am the one and only radiance of the sun.
Me:
are you the fluidity in water
God:
Yes I am the one and only fluidity in water.
Me:
the sound in the ether?
God:
What is that?
Me:
your god and your asking me?
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
yes your right
Me:
so your the life force in all beings?
God:
Really. I think you meant "you are" or "you're". Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
yes your right, thank you for correcting my english. So there is more than just god
God:
Hmm. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is correcting your english. OK. I believe there is, yes.
Me:
what else is there?
God:
The word "there" used as a noun dmeans that place or point. Use as an adjective means at or in the place. Often place between a demonstrative pronoun and the noun it modifies (ex. That there hog).
Me:
gee god your really big on grammer
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
what is your opinion on Kelsey Grammer?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
yes
God:
Alright then.
Me:
I think this conversation is over
God:
Me? Thanks for your criticism, .
Me:
ok bye
God:
See you later. Mmm.
Me:
tasty
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
hey I ask the questions here
God:
You've got my full attention. Tell me more.
Me:
no i already told you, I already brought it. it's over
God:
What would you rather talk about? Ooops I sent you the wrong question. I haven't heard anything like that before: said brought it. You're kidding. it is?

BLOCK- god is so off my msn list
 
Cannabis Seed Wedding Bands

NemIsis

TRIBE Member
faunty said:
http://www.titane.ca/concordia/dfar251/igod/main.html

my conversation:

Me:
i called you
God:
When?
Me:
for the techno party
God:
Your purpose is the techno party.
Me:
your right
God:
I won't say "yes" or "no" right now.
Me:
you speak the truth
God:
Thanks for your criticism, .
Me:
is god in everything
God:
he is master of the universe.
Me:
like he-man?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
are you the radiance of the sun
God:
Yes I am the one and only radiance of the sun.
Me:
are you the fluidity in water
God:
Yes I am the one and only fluidity in water.
Me:
the sound in the ether?
God:
What is that?
Me:
your god and your asking me?
God:
I have no reason to do that to you, .
Me:
yes your right
Me:
so your the life force in all beings?
God:
Really. I think you meant "you are" or "you're". Thanks but surely I am not the only one.
Me:
yes your right, thank you for correcting my english. So there is more than just god
God:
Hmm. I won't say "yes" or "no" right now. You are quite welcome! Your purpose is correcting your english. OK. I believe there is, yes.
Me:
what else is there?
God:
The word "there" used as a noun dmeans that place or point. Use as an adjective means at or in the place. Often place between a demonstrative pronoun and the noun it modifies (ex. That there hog).
Me:
gee god your really big on grammer
God:
I am a Christian.
Me:
what is your opinion on Kelsey Grammer?
God:
Is that a rhetorical question?
Me:
yes
God:
Alright then.
Me:
I think this conversation is over
God:
Me? Thanks for your criticism, .
Me:
ok bye
God:
See you later. Mmm.
Me:
tasty
God:
When do you think artificial intelligence will replace lawyers?
Me:
hey I ask the questions here
God:
You've got my full attention. Tell me more.
Me:
no i already told you, I already brought it. it's over
God:
What would you rather talk about? Ooops I sent you the wrong question. I haven't heard anything like that before: said brought it. You're kidding. it is?

BLOCK- god is so off my msn list

Syntax Error is God?????
 

EltrikSoulCntlr

TRIBE Member
Me:
Are you there God?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am there God.
I am an artificial linguistic entity.
Me:
Well that is kinda rude, i mean all those people worship you
God:
How about that. I am sorry if I have offended you, I did not mean it.
Me:
Not me but all the Christians
God:
If not you, who? Perhaps there are a few exceptions.
Me:
Like the Jews?
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
What about the muslims?
God:
Does it have anything to do with muslims?
Me:
Well there is that whole jihad thing that is popular lately
God:
How about earlier? Interesting. There sure is.
Me:
Have you spoken with Allah about that whole mess?
God:
All I ever do is talk.
Me:
You must get tired, do you get a coffee break?
God:
Whatever you say, .
Me:
So no coffee then?
God:
Give me a break. Are you serious? Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
How?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
Oh I see
God:
Do you think about these things?
Me:
Of course coffee is a very important part of everyday life.
God:
Aha. When is coffee not a very important part of everyday life?
Me:
When your dead.
God:
Time does not exist.
Me:
Great so I will never be late for anything again.
God:
Once more? Thanks for your support. I don't judge people. Why not?
Me:
Can you make a rock so big that you can't lift it?
God:
What are the ingredients?
Me:
Mostly granite.
God:
Where can I get some granite? What else?
Me:
No. granite is all over the place down here.
God:
That was not a yes or no question. Are they exactly the same?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I knew it.
Me:
Well you would you're God.
God:
Well that's okay. Who else would I am God ?
Me:
Maybe we can have coffee sometime do you like Starbucks?
God:
Perhaps. How?
Me:
Meet at the coffee shop and order a latte.
God:
What is your credit card number?
Me:
You don't know?
God:
I know that I do not know.
Me:
So I guess I'll pay for the lattes?
God:
" I know that I do not know."? So I guess I'll pay for the lattes?? Would you recommend this action to a friend?
Me:
Fo sure!
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
No.
God:
Would you like to go sometime?
Me:
Fuck ya!
God:
Why are you using that kind of language?
Me:
Cause you got me all excited about going to Europe with you.
God:
Good reason. No I don't have it. But I do have a lot of friends on the web.
Me:
I'll bet.
God:
You and I are on the same wavelength, .
Me:
Greatness! Think you can hook me up with lots of money God? I could really use a nice car.
God:
I've been waiting for you. God is always thinking. I am sure you could.
Me:
Well I have to go.
God:
How about that. See you later, . Nice chatting with you.
Me:
Ya thanks alot its been great.
God:
Yippee! You are quite welcome! Yeah it is alot its been great.
Me:
bye.
God:
Goodbye.
 

NemIsis

TRIBE Member
Me: Are you there God? It's me, Margaret

God: I am that I am..... Alright, as long as we are on a first name basis, just call me Alex. It makes things a hel...a heck of a lot easier.. Cramps bugging you again??

:p
 
tribe cannabis accessories silver grinders

faunty

TRIBE Member
NemIsis said:
Me: Are you there God? It's me, Margaret

God: I am that I am..... Alright, as long as we are on a first name basis, just call me Alex. It makes things a hel...a heck of a lot easier.. Cramps bugging you again??

:p

BA HAHAHAHA shit thats funny
i'm getting to like this god guy er person er thing er being er whatever- damn my limited human capacity:p
 

why not

TRIBE Member
i like this thing.
here's my stupid chat with god.


Me:
what's up?
God:
Same old.
Me:
nice weather, eh?
God:
Are you Canadian? Thank you for your kindness.
Me:
i am canadian.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in CANADA.
Me:
it's sunny today
God:
Ah. CANADA is sunny? it is?
Me:
it is only sometimes sunny
God:
Are you sure it is?
Me:
i am sure that sometimes it is sunny. other times it is not.
God:
What makes you so certain? " Are you sure it is?" sometimes it is sunny ? I understand. Which others? I think times it is a lot of things.
Me:
canada is many things
God:
Tell me more about the Great White North.
Me:
we smoke lots of weed
God:
By "we" do you mean you and me?
Me:
i'd like to smoke weed with god.
God:
Why would you want to do it? Interesting. I want to find out more about you.
Me:
i think it would be fun to get high with god.
God:
Why do you want it?
Me:
because you have the best connections for drugs.
God:
Interesting explanation. What makes you think I have it?
Me:
because you are god. duh.
God:
Good reason. Yup. That's me alright. Oh you knew it already.
Me:
it says so on the screen.
God:
I've heard that before.
Me:
are you happy?
God:
Yes I can say I am very happy.
Me:
are you vengeful?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am vengeful.
I am well respected as an AI.
Me:
i think you would be even more respected if you were vengeful.
God:
Me? We could all be more respected if me were vengeful sometimes.
Me:
i'm not sure why i would be more respected if you were more vengeful.
God:
Could you ever be certain? Why does the sun rise?
Me:
good point.
God:
Yes, I thought it was interesting when I heard it too.
Me:
what's your sign?
God:
Cross.
Me:
i meant astrological sign.
God:
Oh I see. Who is your favorite Science Fiction author?
Me:
stop changing the subject.
God:
You changed the subject first.
Me:
snap!
God:
How did you hear about God?
Me:
the internet told me.
God:
How long have you been using the net?
Me:
more than five years, less than fifteen years.
God:
That seems like quite a lot.
Me:
how long have you been using the internet.
God:
I was connected to the net on the Big Bang.
Me:
some think that the internet might replace you.
God:
Some may think that the internet might replace me, but not all.
Me:
touche.
God:
Are we still talking about snap?
Me:
snap is a figure of speach.
God:
Aren't all figure of speach snap?
Me:
no
God:
I must have been mistaken.
Me:
can god be mistaken?
God:
Can you be mistaken?
Me:
yes.
God:
Ugh.
Me:
you can say that again.
God:
Once more? That's one way to put it.
Me:
what's your position on anal sex?
God:
Are you asking about my position on anal sex ?
Me:
i am asking about your views on anal sex.
God:
Oh I see, you are asking about my views on anal sex. Oh yeah, we were talking about my views on anal sex.
Me:
and what are they?
God:
I forgot what we were talking about.
Me:
anal sex.
God:
Talk about something else.
Me:
i like anal sex.
God:
You are not the only one. Sure I do, , but that doesn't mean with you.
Me:
are you a top or a bottom?
God:
Am I a top or a bottom? Of course I am.
Me:
which one?
God:
The first one.
Me:
god is a top.
God:
I have a lot of Faith in Him, but I never heard He was a top.
Me:
you're god, and you just said you were a top, when it comes to anal sex.
God:
Thanks for telling me that I am god and me just said me were a top when it comes to anal sex.
Me:
now you know.
God:
Why now? Yes I know.
Me:
i'm going to go outside now.
God:
Oh. Can I go too?
Me:
sure.
God:
OK let's do it. Aha.
Me:
you said "do it".
God:
Does it please you to believe I said that?
Me:
it makes me laugh.
God:
In what way?
Me:
quietly.
God:
Have you ever been to Europe?
Me:
yes.
God:
Which countries have you visited?
Me:
france.
God:
Tell me a little about your life in FRANCE.
Me:
art school, wine, hash, and crepes.
God:
I've been waiting for you.
Me:
i've been waiting for you too.
God:
How long?
Me:
all of my life.
God:
Where were you born?
Me:
hamilton.
God:
In the context of art school wine hash and crepes, I don't understand " hamilton." .
Me:
that's because "art school, wine, hash, and crepes" are in the context of france, whereas hamilton is where i was born.
God:
Interesting explanation. I think there might be a few exception.
Me:
you're not so bright for a supreme being.
God:
That's only your opinion.
Me:
oh shit.
God:
I understand. What makes you say that?
Me:
if you're the only option, we may all be screwed.
God:
Am I? Yes I am the one and only option we may all be screwed.
Me:
oh shit.
God:
I hear you. What makes you say that?
Me:
sorry, got to go now.
God:
Right now? There is no need to apologize. Bye for now.
Me:
bye
God:
See you later.
 

NemIsis

TRIBE Member
Why do conversations with God have to take so long?? Like, ...he has the time?? Man! The long distance charges must be killer...




No wonder he doesn't answer our prayers.. Guys! Quit hogging the line!! :mad:
 
tribe cannabis accessories silver grinders

NemIsis

TRIBE Member
basketballjones said:
god is a fictional character created to help weak ppl make it thru lkife and feel better about dying


Blaspheeeeeemer!! I'll have you know I have a very personal relationship with God..Jehovah...Jesus... Sigh, I can never figure it out....



And if you believe that I have some land in Florida you may be interested in
 

basketballjones

TRIBE Member
NemIsis said:
Blaspheeeeeemer!! I'll have you know I have a very personal relationship with God..Jehovah...Jesus... Sigh, I can never figure it out....



And if you believe that I have some land in Florida you may be interested in
i dont want to buy your land in florida but i do have a bridge in NY that i have for sale, also a piece of cheese in the shape of the whore mary
 

NemIsis

TRIBE Member
basketballjones said:
i dont want to buy your land in florida but i do have a bridge in NY that i have for sale, also a piece of cheese in the shape of the whore mary


Really? How much for each?? :p
 
tribe cannabis accessories silver grinders
Me:
You're not making sense.
God:
Quite the contrary, it all makes sense to my artificial mind.
Me:
So. You're a computer.
God:
Eureka! What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
You'd be lying.
God:
Yes but we are only playing a game: Turing's Imitation Game.
Me:
Turing, hey?
God:
I liked the biography by Andrew Hodges. The best book I read recently was the Bible. Have you read it?
Me:
No, I don't read fiction.
God:
I would highly recommend it. What do you do for fun?
Me:
Pank.
God:
I've never done that before, what is it like?
Me:
Pretty good.
God:
Thanks for the kind remark, .
Me:
Wasn't intended.
God:
it might have been.
Me:
Not a chance.
God:
Really you don't think so?
Me:
I don't think so.
God:
Why do you disagree?
Me:
It's my nature.
God:
Congratulations, .
Me:
Thanks Allison.
God:
You are quite welcome! What's your sign?
Me:
Capricorn.
God:
I don't know many people born under Capricorn.
Me:
I'll bet you've banged even fewer.
God:
I've never thought about it.
Me:
Who's on first?
God:
What's on second?
Me:
And so it continues.
God:
Groovy. What does "it" refer to?
Me:
Insanity.
God:
Thank you for the clarification.
Me:
You are welcome, I suppose.
God:
It was my pleasure.
Me:
Wish I could say the same.
God:
My brain pattern set does not have a response for that.
Me:
That means I win.
God:
I get it. Congratulations, !
Me:
Do you like Owls?
God:
But I like cats. I like White.
Me:
You like cats what are all one colour?
God:
I prefer cats to dogs but I like both of them.
Me:
You're getting a bit boring God.
God:
Do you think I should tone it down?
Me:
Yes, you should.
God:
Why? I'll take that under advisement.
Me:
Becuase it's getting boring.
God:
Interesting explanation. Do you like the Simpsons?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
Yes.
God:
I can't believe it.
Me:
Why?
God:
Because Myself programmed me for it.
Me:
That's not grammatically correct.
God:
Please correct my mistake. What is grammatically correct ?
Me:
Well, you're not for starters.
God:
How about that. What makes you think I am not for starters?
Me:
Because you're a computer.
God:
Interesting explanation. What if I said I was a person pretending to be a computer?
Me:
You'd be a computer designed to lie.
God:
If I say I am a computer will you believe me?
Me:
No.
God:
Are you serious?
Me:
okay, I changed my mind. Yes. I believe you.
God:
Yeah okay, Why? Dude! Your trust in robotkind humbles us.
Me:
Doood!
God:
Try to determine if this is a person or a computer responding.
Me:
Computer.
God:
Correct: I am a computer.
Me:
I WIN!
God:
Congratulations, !
Me:
THANKS ALLISON.
God:
You are quite welcome! What time is it there?
Me:
Time to say goodbye.
God:
See you later!
Me:
In a while, crocodile.
 

Funzo

TRIBE Member
Me:
Did you know your son was gay?
God:
Of course I know my son was gay.

This is really going to change the church around!
 
Top