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Celebrity Gladiators

DaPhatConductor

TRIBE Promoter
No holds barred...

I pick a Satanic cyborg James Brown on PCP with laser eyes, mecha-armor, and bionic tentacles that ooze acid and melt you and then pull you into his ferocious vag-anus where you are devoured to fuel his rampage. James can also go "Huh" and hork larvae at you which burrow into your body and then erupt into voracious caterpillars, then Funky Drummer plays as you dance around in agony.

Bring it on!
 
Cannabis Seed Wedding Bands

DaPhatConductor

TRIBE Promoter
Hee hee... Ok then James head would spin around and he'd turn into Ike Turner! He'd be all:

"Baby, I promise I change ... You know I only want what's best fo' you baby, my passion just gets the better of me sometimes. I only hit you because I love you baby? Give Ike a hug baby."

Then his chest would slide back to reveal lawnmower blades and he'd ram Oprah into the whirling doom within... Then he'd do lots of meth and start sucking stem cells out of fetuses and gain super-evil powers. Oprah wouldn't stand a chance ;)

Hee hee...
 
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deep

TRIBE Member
sammy davis jr's corpse would rise from the unholy dead , affix his monocle and fry to a crisp ike with his laser glass eye


then hit the most righteous power chord ever heard in the history of everything on the guitar he brought back from the underworld
 

DaPhatConductor

TRIBE Promoter
Oh shit!

OK OK OK, but then something would go wrong with the powerchord... it would begin to take on unsettling harmonics... the Earth would rumble.... and then:

An 80 foot Legend of the Overfiend style multiple-penis-tentacled and extremely demonic perversion of Richard Simmons would rise from a crack in the Earth... A disco beat starts up and his obese minions pour forth. Sammy just can't shoot them all down and starts to panic. Then the backgrund goes all tripped out and diet pill disco biscuits start pouring from the sky... All of the fatties start chowing down and turn into drug crazed automatons, hellbent on destruction. Richard Simmons penis tentaces flail everywhere, levelling Toronto and crushing Sammy Davis Jr into oblivion.

The hungry fatties forever roam the wreckage of the world as we know it, their insatiable hunger driving them to devour all flesh in their path!

Mu hu ha ha ha haaaa
 

H2Whoa

TRIBE Member
Hugh Hefner

all challengers would instantly grovel, lick his slippered feet and beg to be given access to the mansion
 

deep

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by DaPhatConductor
Oh shit!

OK OK OK, but then something would go wrong with the powerchord... it would begin to take on unsettling harmonics... the Earth would rumble.... and then:

An 80 foot Legend of the Overfiend style multiple-penis-tentacled and extremely demonic perversion of Richard Simmons would rise from a crack in the Earth... A disco beat starts up and his obese minions pour forth. Sammy just can't shoot them all down and starts to panic. Then the backgrund goes all tripped out and diet pill disco biscuits start pouring from the sky... All of the fatties start chowing down and turn into drug crazed automatons, hellbent on destruction. Richard Simmons penis tentaces flail everywhere, levelling Toronto and crushing Sammy Davis Jr into oblivion.

The hungry fatties forever roam the wreckage of the world as we know it, their insatiable hunger driving them to devour all flesh in their path!

Mu hu ha ha ha haaaa

two words and one solution : billy blanks, tae bo

judo chopping the army of fatties so furiously that they vapourize into a thin red mist of fatty smog

which proceeds to black out the sun and begins billy blanks reign of darkness
 
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DaPhatConductor

TRIBE Promoter
Watch out! Blanks vs. Hefner... can Billy Blanks resist the bunnies? Will Hefner step up with the martial arts skills? Only time will tell...

I'm going to go catch up on my reading and then school all of your punk asses!
 
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