LOL10 SIGNS YOU'RE A CANADA DOUCHE
There is one thing that needs clarifying - not every person that owns a Canada Goose jacket is automatically a Canada douche. There are certain actions and signs that equal douchery. Below is a list of things that make you a Canada douche.
1) You get the bright coloured ones. Ask yourself this, would you ever buy anything else as bright as the jacket or are you getting those colours to “try and stick out?” “Could I pick someone up wearing this colour?”
2) You and your boyfriend/girlfriend have the same one. It may be cute to you but to others it’s kind of sickening.
3) You pose in front of your webcam, bathroom mirror, any mirror, and take pictures with your jacket. It’s even worse if you’re in your pyjamas. And deep down inside you’re taking the pictures to flaunt your new $600 jacket for the world to see. If it’s douche to do it with your new bag, watch or cellphone, it certainly is douche to do it with a jacket. Who fucking cares if you bought the jacket? Will your life improve if people know you have one?
4) You wear sunglasses with your Canada Goose. If it’s so damn bright, put on your hood. You’ll get enough shade under the hood.
5) You pair your jacket with any of the following, previously thought to be douche, articles: True Religion jeans, Affliction shirts, UGGs, pouches. It’s especially douchey if you wear the pouch over the jacket… are you wearing the pouch for function or to show everyone that you bought a $400 pouch instead of a $1000 regular sized bag?
6) You bought it because everybody else has it. You’re the kind of person to fall victim to your environment. If you look around you and think the jacket is cool because everyone else has it and that is a definitive reason for you buying one then that’s pretty douche.
7) You’re spoiled and rich and you didn’t spend a dime, or lift a finger, to buy the jacket. It was handed to you on a silver platter. And you have more than one colour depending on your mood that day.
8) Your bank account is hurting after buying one. If you simply can’t afford the jacket, then don’t fucking buy it. Are insufficient funds really worth looking like everyone else?
9) You want to be noticed and feel like you belong. Since a whole lot of people have one the probability of striking a conversation with another Canada Goose jacket owner about Canada Goose is high and you’re a flaming conversationalist.
10) You think it’s stylish. Canada Goose is right in the same category as North Face and Columbia. How many of you considered buying those instead?