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Bwahahahah!!!

tommysmalls

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Harmonika
CoooL!!! K, I'm all patched up now...I'm on the hunt for some pure MDMA, some Ketamew, and if I play my cards right, I may get my first taste of pure Opium in a couple of days. I can't wait - I've heard it's just like, the best, ya know?
Originally posted by Harmonika

Hey everyone, lookit ME!!!

And guess what - I get tons of free stuff given to me. The ladies flock to me like bees to honey, as do the more open-minded men. Kids, animals...well, that's just a given. Pure spirits are attracted to the same. And purity *ALWAYS* repels darkness.

ian, one day soon, when you're sober, you'll have to face reality again because right now you're way up in the clouds so far that you can't even see the ground.
 

deep

TRIBE Member
Ian , I've avoided responding to your various threads over the past couple days but will do so now out of concern. I recognize with the way you've been ridiculed of late that you're on the defensive now, and not particularly open to hearing thoughts contrary to what you're thinking at the moment. I believe that you'll give me the benefit of the doubt.

I think you need to seek professional help. I am not saying this to insult you. Your posts have become increasingly erratic, flip flopping in emotional intensity, and involving things that you later have felt embarassed enough about to delete. Statements have gone beyond being merely "enthusiastically idealistic" to reasonably unacceptable. The emotional polarity, as well as ideations about having privilidged knowledge from God are hallmark attributes of certain mental disorders.

There is a pattern of disregarding personal responsibility in many of the matters you've talked about. I'm not sure if you've really worked through what was done to you - obviously you are going to hold certain people responsible for that trauma. The question is how to deal with it now. I do not believe that these issues have been reconciled to the point where they don't interfere with your functioning.

When it comes to your own life it seems as though there are questions of how well you are coping with normal demands (i.e. financial stability, how you're dealing with people you owe, drug use, what forces you are depending upon for your life to be sorted out).

I think that you need to step away from this public forum for a bit - not just because you are irritating or alienating people with your postings, but because I don't think it's particularly healthy for you. The way you've gone about things and the way they've played out, you're not necessarily going to get what you're looking for. You are laying out on the line many of your personal issues and problems to people who have next to zero investment in you. They are going to respond with annoyance and criticism more than concern when their social connection is that low and when they're insulted.

This further exacerbates the emotional tension of your already precarious situation. If you try and channel the needs you're expressing in this medium to more conventional means (i.e. therapy) I am sure that you will find the concern, constructivity and support you are looking for.

Best of luck.
 

Harmonika

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by H2Whoa
i haven't seen the essence of debate in any of your threads lately

you're acting like a roomate who comes home drunk and repeatedly tells everyone he's 'so drunk' when you just want the guy to shutup and go to bed

yeah, you can take the heat but why are you using this forum as a kitchen?...if you really want to talk call a friend
Hey, most of the people on this board *ARE* my friends, have been since I first started posting on here back in wha', '98 or so?

And before that, I was posting in #rave on IRC, which I just recently decided to go back to. Crazy group, that lot - bunch of hax0rZ and social deviants. That was around '96, when I first started running pirate Internet radio broadcasts.

So, I was here before most of the people that are here now, and I'm seeing more and more old faces coming back. So my suggestion to the newbies (2000 or later, I'd say) is to chillax, 'cuz there are oldskEwlErz out there who are ten times as cranky-assed as I am and they will eat you for breakfast, if given the opportunity.

i.
 

mcbee

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by deep
Ian , I've avoided responding to your various threads over the past couple days but will do so now out of concern. I recognize with the way you've been ridiculed of late that you're on the defensive now, and not particularly open to hearing thoughts contrary to what you're thinking at the moment. I believe that you'll give me the benefit of the doubt.

I think you need to seek professional help. I am not saying this to insult you. Your posts have become increasingly erratic, flip flopping in emotional intensity, and involving things that you later have felt embarassed enough about to delete. Statements have gone beyond being merely "enthusiastically idealistic" to reasonably unacceptable. The emotional polarity, as well as ideations about having privilidged knowledge from God are hallmark attributes of certain mental disorders.

deep has worded this really well. take his words to heart. over the summer due to a loved ones illness, i have spent alot of time reading about mental disorders and while i'm certainly no expert, you are displaying many characteristics common to some illnesses.

best of luck in your journey to health and happiness again. pm if me if you'd like any phone numbers or websites......i have lots!

:)sarah
 

H2Whoa

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Harmonika
Hey, most of the people on this board *ARE* my friends, have been since I first started posting on here back in wha', '98 or so?

And before that, I was posting in #rave on IRC, which I just recently decided to go back to. Crazy group, that lot - bunch of hax0rZ and social deviants. That was around '96, when I first started running pirate Internet radio broadcasts.

So, I was here before most of the people that are here now, and I'm seeing more and more old faces coming back. So my suggestion to the newbies (2000 or later, I'd say) is to chillax, 'cuz there are oldskEwlErz out there who are ten times as cranky-assed as I am and they will eat you for breakfast, if given the opportunity.

i.
i couldn't care less how cranky others are but thanks for the warning

you really need to unplug for a while

good luck with things
 

Harmonika

TRIBE Member
Jeez, even my own compadres on the board, doubting my motivations and intent!

C'mon guys, you've been around long enough to know me and know that I am the furthest thing from NUTZ. Well, maybe I am, but at least I'm not *bored*.

Why is it, that everyone on this board raves their asses off about d.j.-so-and-so, and just how CRAYZEE he or she is when behind the decks, but can't pay the same hommage to a longstanding local jock? Please, I'd like to know.

"You know what I love about Danny Tenaglia? He's just so New York, and doesn't give a fuck!"

I'm paraphrasing, but I distinctly remember seeing that posted as a response to my making fun of Mr. T and his hyper-prissy attitude toward the very clubbers he's supposed to be entertaining. He hated the fact that people were *oooh* SMOKING in the nightclub he was playing in.

BIG FUCKING DEAL. Someone could light up a Romeo Y Julietta right in front of my nose, and I wouldn't say jack shit (as long as they gave me a puff, that is).

So everyone defends the guy who is knocking the same people who are putting a paycheque in his pocket, while online-crucifying me, who only wants everyone to lighten the fuck up and start having fun again.

Talk about skewed values. Seriously - I'm not the one who needs help, and I don't think I have to add much more to that sentence.

C'mon peeps, where's the love? :D

i.
 

deep

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Harmonika
Jeez, even my own compadres on the board, doubting my motivations and intent!
This is usually a strong signal that what's being said should be given consideration.
 

Harmonika

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by deep
This is usually a strong signal that what's being said should be given consideration.
...or to flip the coin over, maybe its a strong signal that you're not really my friend, otherwise, you'd have my back on this and would be giving me help, instead of suggesting that I get some on my own.


How ya like me now? ;)

i.
 

tommysmalls

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Harmonika
So everyone defends the guy who is knocking the same people who are putting a paycheque in his pocket, while online-crucifying me, who only wants everyone to lighten the fuck up and start having fun again.
no one is crucifying you, brutha. we're just giving you the straight goods on what we see when we're looking at our friend, mr. ian elliott. we are genuinely worried about you.

no joke.

please take some time to meditate on this.

sincerely,
tommy
 

Pyrovitae

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by deep
Ian , I've avoided responding to your various threads over the past couple days but will do so now out of concern. I recognize with the way you've been ridiculed of late that you're on the defensive now, and not particularly open to hearing thoughts contrary to what you're thinking at the moment. I believe that you'll give me the benefit of the doubt.

I think you need to seek professional help. I am not saying this to insult you. Your posts have become increasingly erratic, flip flopping in emotional intensity, and involving things that you later have felt embarassed enough about to delete. Statements have gone beyond being merely "enthusiastically idealistic" to reasonably unacceptable. The emotional polarity, as well as ideations about having privilidged knowledge from God are hallmark attributes of certain mental disorders.

There is a pattern of disregarding personal responsibility in many of the matters you've talked about. I'm not sure if you've really worked through what was done to you - obviously you are going to hold certain people responsible for that trauma. The question is how to deal with it now. I do not believe that these issues have been reconciled to the point where they don't interfere with your functioning.

When it comes to your own life it seems as though there are questions of how well you are coping with normal demands (i.e. financial stability, how you're dealing with people you owe, drug use, what forces you are depending upon for your life to be sorted out).

I think that you need to step away from this public forum for a bit - not just because you are irritating or alienating people with your postings, but because I don't think it's particularly healthy for you. The way you've gone about things and the way they've played out, you're not necessarily going to get what you're looking for. You are laying out on the line many of your personal issues and problems to people who have next to zero investment in you. They are going to respond with annoyance and criticism more than concern when their social connection is that low and when they're insulted.

This further exacerbates the emotional tension of your already precarious situation. If you try and channel the needs you're expressing in this medium to more conventional means (i.e. therapy) I am sure that you will find the concern, constructivity and support you are looking for.

Best of luck.
 

Evil Dynovac

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Harmonika
...or to flip the coin over, maybe its a strong signal that you're not really my friend, otherwise, you'd have my back on this and would be giving me help, instead of suggesting that I get some on my own.
Daddy! What's that?

That's PARANOIA son. That's where crazy comes from.
 

Bass-Invader

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Harmonika
...or to flip the coin over, maybe its a strong signal that you're not really my friend, otherwise, you'd have my back on this and would be giving me help, instead of suggesting that I get some on my own.
What's so wrong about having someone suggest that you help yourself?
 

Harmonika

TRIBE Member
Et Tu, Tommy?

C'mon man, we've been friends for FIVE YEARS! Have I ever done anything in that time to betray your trust in me? When I say I'M JUST FINE, why don't you believe me? Is it because I'm not dealing with life in the same manner that I used to? Good, because I was a fucking miserable, cheating, lying cunt back then - just like the rest of the men in my family. Why do you think I picked the name "re.son" for my production work?

Re = again
son = self-explanatory, I'd hope

I'm my father's son, and for the better part, I'd rather not repeat the same mistakes that he (and most likely his father before him - "the son pays for the mistakes of the father to the third and fourth generation, my Gran always says) made. He broke my mother's trust in men, and in return, she went out and married a strict disciplinarian who treats me like dirt. From one extreme to another - the only difference is, that I decided to head in the *opposite* direction. If I can't make you see that, then what's the point in going on?

Have you seen me with anything other than a smile on my face over the past couple of months? Have I not shown you all the cool things I'm now capable of doing - scratching and tearing shit up behind the decks, neato yoga tricks, making cool shit out of nothing for that 'que you had a while back. Did none of that rub off on you?

I'd hope that you'd at least have my back, Mr. Smalls - you've been there for me through some of my darkest days, with your perfectly synched decks and working-condition mixer, and a nice bowl or J to unwind with...and now that I've decided to put those days behind me, you're cutting me down for it? And don't sugar-coat it - that's exactly what you're doing, otherwise you'd be right in front of me, deflecting some of the shit some people on this board are choosing to sling at me.

Again, where's the LOVE? :)

i.
 

mingster

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Harmonika
...or to flip the coin over, maybe its a strong signal that you're not really my friend, otherwise, you'd have my back on this and would be giving me help, instead of suggesting that I get some on my own.

i.
I don't think you should look at it like that. I think Deep's suggestion is a very good one. One that I would have made myself if I thought that you would receive it openly. Sometimes our friends can't help us with certain pains, and seeking therapy is great alternative, even better than an alternative, it can fulfill a need that your friends can't.

I really, really think you should consider seeing a psychotherapist. If you need any help, or don't know where to start, PM me. I can help you.


Mel.
 

French Disco Girl

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Harmonika
I'd hope that you'd at least have my back, Mr. Smalls - you've been there for me through some of my darkest days, with your perfectly synched decks and working-condition mixer, and a nice bowl or J to unwind with...and now that I've decided to put those days behind me, you're cutting me down for it? And don't sugar-coat it - that's exactly what you're doing, otherwise you'd be right in front of me, deflecting some of the shit some people on this board are choosing to sling at me.

Again, where's the LOVE? :)

i.
concern = love. there is nothing but love in tommys post ian.

you already know how saddened i am that you’ve had to bring my name into the chaos on the board, but to offer any form of forgiveness would insinuate that i am harm able/harmed by your actions. which i am not. we cannot judge the choices another makes - because even though i/we may *feel* they are wrong - THEY feel they are right. and so they are, if they serve their highest purpose. but its imperative to remember - that by seeking to ‘have’ something, you cannot have it, because your very seeking is a statement that you do not have it. instead of seeking, just Be.

Originally posted by Harmonika
I wonder how many of the snot-nosed, consumerist, money-hoarding suburbanites can say the same of themselves? Maybe I'll start a poll. Any takers?
to heal the world - you must give the gift of Love. Remember? Love is eternal, unrestrictive, unlimiting, unconditional, always, and free[dom]. giving all those whose life you touch a sense of their own worthiness as a person will heal the fear & anger that surrounds them, if you so feel that is your purpose here. that which you wish for yourself - bestow upon another. what you give to another you give to yourself as all things that proceed from you, return to you. consider that.

something i’ve said to you a bazillion times over and will stress once again ian - every act is an act of self-definition. there are no rights & wrongs in Gods world. only consequences to the choices we make and the actions we take.

i feel whole-heartedly sorry for the slack that you are receiving here. but i know you are a tough [choco’late chip] cookie and unaffected by the choice words on the screen.

do less for which you need to be forgiven for, and more for which to be thanked.

there is deep truth in what your friend mark wrote here on tribe. more often than not it is a difficult task for us to hear the Truth when we are so busy talking.

and that is all i have to add.
 

tommysmalls

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Harmonika
I'd hope that you'd at least have my back, Mr. Smalls - you've been there for me through some of my darkest days, with your perfectly synched decks and working-condition mixer, and a nice bowl or J to unwind with...and now that I've decided to put those days behind me, you're cutting me down for it? And don't sugar-coat it - that's exactly what you're doing, otherwise you'd be right in front of me, deflecting some of the shit some people on this board are choosing to sling at me.

Again, where's the LOVE? :)

i.
hey man the love's right here - it's called honesty, and i'm shelling it out unabashed.

it's true that your dj'ing skills are great and your style has gotten more funkified, that your can do more funky yoga, and that i've been there for you through some dark times, and this moment is no different.
 

squirrely

TRIBE Member
ian, your friends obviously are trying to protect you from *yourself* right now, and see no need to waste their time deflecting meaningless criticisms from a bunch of faceless tribers who are just bored at work and looking to get on someone's ass.

PLEASE get off the board and go speak with them in person.


r.
 
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