Boundaries on Drug use...

[Interchange]

Ok so this has been a dilemma, wanted to post but did not want to make it tribe business but then b/f said go for it see what responses you would get on tribe so....

K i use to do tons o drugs way back in the day of raves, i stopped doing everything for like 6 years well except weed and once every 2 years shrooms... I decided i did not need chemicals anymore and they have taken a toll on my body...

In walks new b/f he likes doing chemicals, say about once a month... i see how i am with it and well i find it almost a habit if it is once a month.. he seems to disagree, he says he has it under control and it is recreational use.
He thinks the reason why i think he has a habit is because i am comparing my past to him.

So yeah it is a little hard for me to have perspective as i am pretty straight edge, my question is, do you think once a month can be considered recreational use? or could that be considered a habit?

All this aside it bugs me and i know for me once a month to have someone i am intimate with is too much and i guess it really comes down to personal preference but just curious...

 

[Subsonic Chronic]

Chems once a month easily falls under "reacreational" use IMO.

Once a week would be pushing it, multiple times a week could be indicative of a problem, but once a month is nothing to get concerned over.

 

[quantumize]

some people would say dont judge about drugs etc....

not me

if your going to date somebody judge away, if you dont like the fact that he does drugs drop him. if he changes great, but dont expect him to. it doesnt matter if once a month is recreational or not, and it doesnt matter what anybody's opinions are on drugs.

your the one who has to be intimate with him

if you dont feel comfortable with it leave him

period

 

[Prickly Pete]

recreational

 

[Michlerish]

I agree, once a month should be considered recreational use.

 

[rubytuesday]

I think that's recreational. I'm also very "straight-edge." I don't have any habits in terms of drugs, well except caffeine and chocolate.
Is what's bothering you the drugs he's taking or is it his behaviour on them?
Is it affecting his health/work/finances or is it just annoying to you?
I've asked previous bf's to not do drugs at all, or at least not around me. In my case the person wanted to stop anyway so I was just an added motivator. You can't force people to change and if they change for your sake they'll just resent you. If it makes you really uncomfortable you'll have to make a decision for yourself.

 

[AdRiaN]

How often do you smoke weed?

 

[Gravid]

definitely recreational, but your boy is pretty smart with this. What kind of response did you think you would get about occassional chemical use on TRIBE?? I am sure if you asked the same question on another board (not related to the club scene) some might suggest rehab for both of you.
But I wouldn't worry about it. If your relationship long term, everyone tires of it one day

 

[Wiseman]

Do you like him when he is on drugs?

 

[kaniz]

IMO, if its kept within the realm of partying on weekends - then I'd say its pretty recreational, especially if its only once a month.

I think it stops being recreational, when the drug use starts to leave the context of say, a club/party or a social event. If it starts bleeding into your ‘day to day’ live – like doing a bump in the bathroom during your smoke break, or doing a line when you first wake up for a little ‘pick me up’ and stuff like that, is when it becomes habitual and not recreational.

If its just once a month, or hell – even two or three times a month, as long as its kept within a context, not interfering with other obligations (friends, family, work, school), and sort of kept to a “weekend only” type of thing, I don’t think its much of a problem.

 

[Skipper]

recreational

 

[tobywan]

yeah, approx. once a month would be considered recreational...and as another has said, how is he when he's on teh drugs? Does he get all aggro? is he laid back and cool?

 

[kaniz]

I think we need newstyle666 to make an appearance in this thread just to get another opinion.

 

[IgStar]

def. recreational.

once a month? come on.

 

[Ditto Much]

All this aside it bugs me and i know for me once a month to have someone i am intimate with is too much and i guess it really comes down to personal preference but just curious...

I ran into this problem very recently.


Do you want a relationship in which drug use is a mutual decision and done by both parties togther or can you accept that there will be times when the two of you will be partying in different ways. It doesn't sound like the issue is drug use as much as trust and a concern that things aren't on the level.

For me the issue was trust and not drug abuse. I could agree that her usage wasn't what would constitue addiction however I really didn't enjoy her coming home at 4 in the morning high off her ass, and I really didn't dig partying all night with people who were lost.

 

[ducke]

So yeah it is a little hard for me to have perspective as i am pretty straight edge, my question is, do you think once a month can be considered recreational use? or could that be considered a habit?

Starts out to be fun but in the end it's HELL - You know you been there - It sounds like your not ready to go down that road again. Be 8 years for me in June & I have had the urge more then once but I am glad I did not go for that BUMP.

 

[Skipper]

IMO, if its kept within the realm of partying on weekends - then I'd say its pretty recreational, especially if its only once a month.

I think it stops being recreational, when the drug use starts to leave the context of say, a club/party or a social event. If it starts bleeding into your ‘day to day’ live – like doing a bump in the bathroom during your smoke break, or doing a line when you first wake up for a little ‘pick me up’ and stuff like that, is when it becomes habitual and not recreational.

If its just once a month, or hell – even two or three times a month, as long as its kept within a context, not interfering with other obligations (friends, family, work, school), and sort of kept to a “weekend only” type of thing, I don’t think its much of a problem.

2-3 weekends a month is more than recreational IMO. there's no way that doesn't interfere with other parts of your life.

 

[defazman]

I'd say it's possible to be a problem, but unlikely.

 

[Interchange]

hmm.. yes i did go on another board and the responses were very different.. on this board i know people are more open minded and are not all addicts or recovering...

I do not like to be around him when he does it, i dont like the temptation and i am just of the mind frame of why do you want to do that to your self? and ok it is like a trigger for me it brings up all kinds of bad memories....

I do notice a bit of a change in his attitude after - and well last time he did it he was not honest and did not tell me til a week later.... but he said it was only a line... hmm i cannot tell someone to give something up, but he said he would give it up for me, last time he said this there was resentment, but this time he says he would rather have me....

hmm drugs confuse me i think at this point in time, as i am not totally against them and i do not look badly upon people that do them, i hate coke!! and i will frown on that and meth,k,crack but who does that?
E does not bug me to much and i did some this year myself for the first time in years... but i dont want to start doing it again all the time....

Weed.. hmm well that varies, i cannot smoke that all the time, it makes me dumb, i am very good with it...

 

[TaCk OnE?]

once a month is totally recreational

you wouldn't say anything to somebody who drinks once a month.

a lot of people would probably say they're pretty boring....


it obviously depends on people's personalities as to whether or not it's going to increase from there, obviously it does with some people.
but the guy's your boyfriend, and I'm sure you know what type of person he is....


I say chill until it's an actual problem....

 

[KillaLadY]

I think every person is different and has different understandings and levels of acceptance. Whether this may fall in the category of "recreational" use, my level of acceptance is definitely not the same- I would not be with someone that does chems once a month.

Also, if I meet a guy and I am interested in him and I KNOW that he does chems for a month, I have no right to think that if we are to start dating, he will also CHANGE for me.

 

[Kazoo]

2-3 weekends a month is more than recreational IMO. there's no way that doesn't interfere with other parts of your life.

I disagree. Different strokes for different folks. I truly believe it depends on the individual. I have no problem partying every weekend using recreationally. I find that as long as you are not compromising your career i.e. rarely partying on a 'school night', it is no different than getting drunk.

I understand that some people can't cross adhere to that line in the sand, but I think that is where you differentiate b/t the recreational and habitual users, be it drugs or alcohol.

 

[kaniz]

Well, actually, I can agree on the 3 times starting to get into border-line problem area, but dont think two times a month really is. *shrug*

Although, I will admit - that last year, when I was going out almost /every/ weekend, it did interfer with my schoolwork more then I cared to admit.
Which is why I took/taking a bit of a rest from it this school year, only times I've done chems since the school years started has been on the holidays (new years eve, reading week) and maybe only 1 or 2 other times where I knew I had all my schoolwork/studying/etc done and it wouldnt cause a problem with it.

I simply cant handle being a sketch-tard during the school week anymore, feeling like my brain is running at 50% and cant do 8*4 in my head when I need to study, do assignments, and pay attention - it sucks.

and well, the appeal of doing E every weekend just lost its appeal - I had a fun year or two of partying, but dont have an interest in getting fucked up like that often anymore.

 

[[- FuNKtiOn -]]

Chems once a month easily falls under "reacreational" use IMO.

Once a week would be pushing it, multiple times a week could be indicative of a problem, but once a month is nothing to get concerned over.

agreed.

 

[JESuX]

you sound like you've already made up your mind on your stance on this, mrs. peacock.