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Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by Guest, Mar 13, 2002.

  1. Guest

    Guest Guest

    I just found out about a friend recently. They have lied to me, and my other friends, stolen things from peoples' houses, and the list goes on. Most of the stuff I found out just shocks me how this person could do all these things and still call me a friend. My dilema here is :

    a) Confront them about everything.


    b) Just let the friendship dissolve.
  2. DJAlchemy

    DJAlchemy TRIBE Promoter

    c) all of the above.

    you gotta confront them with it, and depending on their reaction you may then decide how much of the relationship should dissolve.

    Peace & love. D
  3. dimpy

    dimpy TRIBE Member

    wow, i feel for you, i've been in a similar situation myself (i suspect that a friend stole my baby sister's piggy bank)

    i didn't say anything (i had no proof) but basically the friendship dissolved because i didn't trust them anymore.

    confront is a funny word because it kind of implies guilt, but come to your straight; that you've heard these things and that you'd prefer not to believe them but...

    letting the frienship just dissolve will probably leave you feeling resentful and won't solve anything. confirmation that you're friend actually did all these things is the first step you should take if *you* are a true friend
  4. Guest

    Guest Guest

    My 2 cents......

    Keep your friends close and your ememies closer.
  5. OTIS

    OTIS TRIBE Member

    At some point in life you begin to realize that friends are jsut companions for different situations.. relying on them for more than that makes you naive.

    Whenever I'd find out something shocking about a friend, surprise is really not the emotion I feel because it's human nature to disregard others for the sake of personal gain. Just some people hide their actions behind a warm face better than others.

    The facad is what disgusts me more than the actions that are hidden.
  6. BigBadBaldy

    BigBadBaldy TRIBE Member

    That's a little overly cynical, don't you think? Do you consider your girfriend to be a "friend"? Do you trust and rely on her? Oh, how naive!

    Your world sounds pretty fucking bleak. Yes, it's naive to think you can implicitly trust any accquaintance you might have, but a friend is different. I think people throw around the word "friend" in the same careless way people throw around the word "love". I have tons of accquaintances, but few "friends".


    ..to each his or her own. Chacun son gout!
  7. OTIS

    OTIS TRIBE Member

    Dude, when ther is love involved, a faith is created that transcends friendship. If you don't realize that then you've never been in love. You can't compare a lover's companionship to a friend's.. different worlds.

    No sorry, it's quite fine actually.. I have plenty friends.. I just say i don't rely on them as much as I used to.. companionship and witty conversations are cool, but you'll never hear me whine about how a friend "fucked me over" because I really don't allow myself get into those type of positions.
  8. Klubmasta Will

    Klubmasta Will TRIBE Member

    loki ...

    speak not of betrayal, coward. for it was YOU who tricked our blind brother hodur into killing brave balder. thy secret has been revealed!

    wretched cur! may you find mercy by the blade of heimdall. and may hela's embrace give you naught but everlasting damnation.
  9. BigBadBaldy

    BigBadBaldy TRIBE Member

    ..but your girlfriend was probably just a friend before whom you trusted enough to try and take things to that other level.

    Ok, that was a bad example (the GF thing).

    That's cool. Whatever gets you through, right? If I personally have a "friend" I have no problem putting myself on the line when the emotional rewards of someone actually being there for you are tremendous. Then again, getting screwed by someone you called a friend is shitty. But, it's like the whole love thing: it's great when it works, sometimes you get hurt, but if you never try, you'll never feel either.

    Anyway, just my opinions.


    Joey. He's my "Friend".
  10. Klubmasta Will

    Klubmasta Will TRIBE Member

    ps. i'm with otis (somewhat). i have lots of friends. but i can count the number of people that i *truly* trust on one hand.
  11. BigBadBaldy

    BigBadBaldy TRIBE Member

    Yeah, same here. But that doesn't limit me from the possibility of opening up another finger on that hand if I meet the right person.


    Can I give you the finger? ;)
  12. OTIS

    OTIS TRIBE Member

    Cool, I've had many conversations with people about it..
    I've had plenty of friends who've I've had an emotional investment with.. in the end, you really realize what constitutes a *real* friendship. You realize it's not just someone who's convenient to hang out with, or go party with.. you realize it's someone that has proven time & time again your that trust & loyalty are of utmost importance to them.

    I'm glad you are lucky enough to feel you have found that.
  13. Dark-Rave

    Dark-Rave TRIBE Member

    i would do both depending on the answer to your first question.

    hmmm, this is something i got in the 'mail and thought i would share it as it is along the same "lines"..

    Are you a Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime?

    Pay attention to what you read. After you read this, you will know the reason it was sent to you! Because people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

    When someone is in your life for a REASON. It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
    inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring
    the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered, and now it is time to move on

    When people come into your life for a SEASON it is because
    your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a

    LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being a part of my life.

    love and laughter,

  14. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Re: loki ...

    HAHAHAH........I'm truely impressed.
  15. Rosey

    Rosey TRIBE Member

    werd! :)
  16. kyfe

    kyfe TRIBE Member

    I think its a shame that people have to live under such false pretences....

    I'm not saying anyone is right or wrong here but really, without trust in fellow man don't we just become some sort of animal? Take what you want, do what you want, say what you want and disregard the reprocussions?

    I know in todays society it's "wrong" to trust people because it only leads to headaches or heartbreaks, but come on without some sort of unity mankind is sure to fail.... it's man/woman's nature to react and wait for a problem to occur, imagine if it weren't so? Life could be so much better...

    As for the original problem, Confront them but don't accuse them, regardless of what you do the relationship should be over.

  17. Guest

    Guest Guest

    OTIS, I'm sort of the same way. This isn't exactly a person I would consider a close friend either. It's just that this person & I run with the same social circle, and I'm deeply digusted by the things this person has done. I simply just want the lying to stop.

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