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Best of psy promo Engrish!

Discussion in 'Trance Room' started by basilisk, Oct 13, 2005.

  1. basilisk

    basilisk TRIBE Member

    Sometimes the promo text that comes out absolutely boggles my mind...

    TRINITIX
    This Trinitix unit was produced by Holly A Shwartz (aka Holymen) and Shay Elmakies (aka Dynamic/Dynamo)

    The music of Trinitix is powerful psychedelic full-on. The create sound and using new hi-technology like a matrix sound. The amazing album was produced an under the name is 'Aspeclaria'. And this album is collaborate with 'Hypersonic' 'Electro Nation'and remix of Eskimo's 'Inter Gyaractic'.

    Holly is Pioneer of the Israel Trance who made until today 12artist album, under the name Dr Acid, X-Samurai, and of course the most famous is 'Holymen', who is released Sony, EMI, 100 or more compilation has been manufactured from the major music company until now.

    DJ Shay is unfolding Liveact all over the world also as Dynamic and Dynamo.He is also released the album from various music companies.Now, he is one of the most powerful artists. And it is working also as a pro's sound engineer. He also has very abundant knowledge and experience to music. He is the young talent of the Israel Trans.

    Their full album 'Aspeclaria' is the latest version. Unpublished music is also contained in this. This 'Matrix Sound' is powerful and is a visionary melody. These are the center of attention very much.

    KINO OKO
    I want to put in trance more music, more fun and focus on harmony and feelings bounded with it. i feel that music now is overloaded by complicated rhythm, production is more important than music itself. wrong in my opinion is attitude to trans now: many details mean good music. Finnaly you have over-detailed track without main concept. i want to be detailed enough to make interesting track but at the beginning i start with main idea. this is right order for me. i don’t want to make another "boom, boom, crash" album with mega weird sounds from another space and full of turbo giga breakdown with voices from bloody coffin. even i don’t want mega super cleaver intelligent puzzle music with brilliant rhythm section.... i want to make good produced album when music there is on position no1!

    DOMINATOR PROJECT
    Debut album Dominator "Paranormal Connection" is new wave of dark psychedelic music for special act of dance-meditation. Fantastic combination of Power of new generation of sound, extraterrestrial vibes and very peculiar "dusky" lyric. The album is addressed to all fans of unusual rigid psychedelic music,to all admirers of deep night sound high quality and as well to all travellers,naturalists,experimentators&psy-hooligan. Just 70 minuts digital&analog impulses do ultrafast paranormal connection with another one reality. Ultraviolet sun,digital matrix cod is on the ocean water and NOTHING USUAL!People can fly!People can fly on The plane with the jet engine!

    This last line is teh winnar.
     
  2. Variant

    Variant TRIBE Member

    When in psytrance with etherals energy I always take off and another life. Like at the one time when Scott you lifted reality to everyone! I with the question and god times ten! Next one I gonna have jet engines for extra impulses.
     
  3. Agent Smith

    Agent Smith TRIBE Member

    What the fuck?
     
  4. JOSHB

    JOSHB TRIBE Member

    I want to put in trance more music, more fun and focus on harmony and feelings bounded with it. i feel that music now is overloaded by complicated rhythm, production is more important than music itself. wrong in my opinion is attitude to trans now: many details mean good music. - KINO OKO

    If only contemporary house producers like Fred Everything and Jason Hodges and would understand these basic concepts. The attitude twards "trans now" in house is making it all sound the same.
     
  5. nusty

    nusty TRIBE Member

    this is the best reading I've had all day! :D

    thanks for the humour.
     
  6. Sextri

    Sextri TRIBE Member

    lmao


    nice engrish
     
  7. Cheap Ego

    Cheap Ego TRIBE Member

    chop this up in individual words, push it through a vocoder and BANG! you've got the new x-dream.
     
  8. basilisk

    basilisk TRIBE Member

    ZING! ^

    and more:

     
  9. nusty

    nusty TRIBE Member

    this thread consistantly makes my day sooo much better!

    *tear* <----- from laughing
     
  10. basilisk

    basilisk TRIBE Member

    AHHH THIS IS SO GOOD... plus you can download it all :D

    ---

    LUOMUHAPPO: Borealophitecus EP (Free MP3 Download!)

    There comes a bang and a flash from the highest peak of the MP3-revolution and old-school C-cassette copying culture. Luomuhappo - a mediocre visionary in falsely entertaining crap, now outsources his production.

    Twisted disco, gangsta-trance, folk music, neo-tracker sounds and spugedelia. Suomisaundi? The going is hulva and hulvaton, so to speak. Purist-humppa. Musical quotations and references to here and there, back and forward. Some think it's pure shit - but let us accept it. The listening experience may be as long and hard as french baguette breads found from the dumpster.

    As a hilarious company game, you can search for familiar samples and presets. Like a little child knows, so does Benoilmeer von Naapmerap Assaam know; moving things are more interesting than still ones, bright colours are nicer than darker ones, and a good fiiling is much more fun than bad.

    But that's why we and other apes as well have colour vision, so that we can see which one of the fruits is ripe. And a hearing so that we can identify shitty music. You can masturbate the ears, like you can masturbate the brain.

    Everything should have come; Panmarklar EP, neo-roots EP, gangsta-trance EP and I think a few others as well. Nothing came, except the remains of numerous projects. Here, you're welcome. The name of the package is Borealophitecus. Which means "the ape of the north". The name could be "shame" as well, as a reference to Jouko Turkka's book and theme.

    The songs have been handily mastered to different volume levels, and just make sure, the mixing has been fucked up as well. One could do things the other way - if one could or managed to. Let alone had the interest. Home taping won't kill music, but mp3 killed the tracker star. You can tape this to a cassette and hobby habby craft the covers yourself. Then it's good for listening to in a car. I don't own a cassette player myself - or a car. So now you have a good reason to lend a car from your mother and drive with your shorts on to a shorts festival - or to the nearest gas station to bang your pant suspenders.

    A1 Gatman
    A2 Roosa Alisa Ja Osku Joi Mun Vikat Kossut
    A3 Maailman Paras Jätkä
    A4 Midihikipaja (extended)
    A5 Swamp Thing (remix)
    B1 Exploding Sausages
    B2 Huuma 2003
    B3 Festareilla vol 1
    B4 Lintukoto
    B5 Suurmies Dub

    (C)+(P) 2003-2005 Iloinen Perhe Records

    www.FREAKDANCERECORDS.NET

    PS. All of you who have joined the Luomuhappo fan club, you will be sorry.

    Download from http://www.freakdancerecords.net/borealophitecus/
     
  11. basilisk

    basilisk TRIBE Member

    Luckily it's just a joke.
     
  12. basilisk

    basilisk TRIBE Member

    THE COVER

    [​IMG]

    TEH PROMO NFO

    b0m b0m!

    ~~~~~:::aGh0ri TanTriK PreSentS:::~~~~~

    ------------+ KabRaStaN +-----------

    ((((( dArK PsyCheDeLiC TrAnCe 4m InDiA )))))

    aGh0Ri TanTriK takes u on his 1st liberation from the dark album! 10 previously unreleased trips into the various areas of Kabrastan (Cemetry). We start from the Om Kring Kali Namah Mantra to set the Evil Spirits on fire and kill them in kali mata's ecstasy

    aGh0ri then performs kala jadu, which is actually an hallucinatory trip into the mosquito empire. Owww..the mosquitos are eating u alive..u r in hell..but yayyyy! mortein is here to save the day!

    We then move a lil away from the cemetry more towards the forest..and watttt! its dark night and the monkeys are performing a ritual! yeh bandar kahan se aa gaye???

    And then u hear the voice of yaga baba singing joyously - Om Namah Shivaya and at once u know u r at one with the cosmos! Doof DooF the party heads r here, lets shake a bum and look at the lovely chikitas! Ahh even lord shiva is here to show us a groove or two!

    The naughty tantrik decides to make a killing in this happy party and performs a necrophagy - the act of eating a corpse..ohh every1 is so scared..

    "Phat of MY LunD!" says aGh0ri, "Lund se mere!". And starts banging a dope industrial dark megamix of Prodigy's Fat of my Land album. Finally..to abuse the sexy chikita of your brain a "khatra!" track to make u scream in agony and finally liberate your self from evil spirits within. Feeling nice and fresh final darshan of yaga baba! U're FREE!!
     
  13. KodiaK

    KodiaK TRIBE Member

    that shitty cover will haunt my dreams forever.....
     
  14. basilisk

    basilisk TRIBE Member

    The Japanese return to show proper method of Engrish promo writing style!

    ---

    A year after the legacy of Japanese Psy-Trance, "PHINALIZER"
    ex-PHI, the leader of NU SKOOL HARDGORE*TRANCE is coming back!!

    â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”
    ┃SLUM - Make Rainbow In Your Slum
    â”—â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”â”…‥

    Track Listing:

    01. Future Is Ours (Remix) [143BPM]
    02. I Can Eat All Of Earth [145BPM]
    03. Make Rainbow In Your Slum [145BPM]
    04. Emog [144BPM]
    05. Never Runaway Never [144BPM]
    06. Why You Have My Beer? No Problem [144BPM]
    07. Sneak, Beneath My Notice [145BPM]
    08. Follow Me [146BPM]
    09. Trust Youth Days [147BPM]
    10. To Be Revolution [135BPM]

    included 10 tracks
    ELFCD-010
    Dec 2005 RELEASE!!

    Release information:

    SLUM, solo project by a Japanese trance scene's favorite, SHUJI. He is a member of PHI who appeared on the scene meteorically last year, acted as their pleases and now are on indefinite break. He starts again carrying his own project SLUM with thirst and desire for music. SLUM's debut album "PHINALIZER", came out last year, presented new sound of GOA TRANCE and the album was charted in the top 10 of DANCE/CLUB MUSIC selling chart at major CD store in Japan. The album also made worldwide success and still keep having wonderful sales as an Japanese-made trance album. With having the album, SLUM did tour in Europe and was praised highly in Portugal, Austria, Hungary, Czech, and former Yugoslavia.
    SHUJI, the representative of TRANCE new generation, started listening Psychedelic Rock music when he was very young, then formed a PUNK/HARDCORE/EMO band and released CDs, and stepped in to PSY-TRANCE field. He travels all over the world and visits unexplored regions, holy places, ghettos, and refugee camps, and expresses what he sees and feels by TRANCE MUSIC. Yes, SLUM's music is for everybody, an anthem of life. Characterized by uplifting bass lines , aggressive riffs, and speedy sound, SLUM is often invited to big festivals- UP DOWN FESTIVAL in Portugal, EARTHCORE GLOBAL CARNIVAL in Australia etc. SLUM also contributed a track on the various album "FAR EAST PSYTRANCE LEAGUE 2005" which was compiled by DJ TSUYOSHI and was released this summer. SLUM, having a possibility for great future of Japanese trance scene, must keep on evolving.
    "Everything never can't stop us, dude!"
                   
    File Under : Full Power Neo Psy-Trance

    *GORE is not GOA. The sound of SLUM is HARD. The animal rushes with the fang and thrust externals are called GORE. "HARDGORE" is suitable slang for the description of the sound of SLUM.
     
  15. basilisk

    basilisk TRIBE Member

    And more!

    >>> I.B.I.S - Spread & Destruction <<<

    Track listing:

    1.THE TOKYO w&p : I.B.I.S
    2.HANDS UP w&p : I.B.I.S
    3.Conflict The Brain w&p : I.B.I.S
    4.Far East GlassField -I.B.I.S feat. HATTA- w&p:I.B.I.S & HATTA
    5.Into GM Story w&p : I.B.I.S
    6.Foo -I.B.I.S & USCUS- w&p : I.B.I.S& USCUS
    7.YING YANG w&p : I.B.I.S
    8.Reaction w&p : I.B.I.S
    9.Zenon w&p : I.B.I.S

    included 9 tracks
    SPTCD-001
    September 2005 RELEASE!!

    He is one of ARTIST that can be expected most from Japan in the future.
    (DJ TSUYOSHI/MATSURI PRODUCTION/FEEDBACK RECORDINGS)

    Sound quality and originality that surely does "WORK" on dance floor. It recommends it for DJ and the listener.
    (DJ RYO/SOLSTICE MUSIC)

    Release information:

    From the unusual concept label “Spreadtuneâ€, abnormal talent DJ/Producer Neuske is ready to drop his first solo unit album “I.B.I.S†to this confuses trance scene. Being as one of the top DJ/Producer in Japan, I.B.I.S (aka Neuske) has been working through in various activity, it would be true to say that he has been showing his multi talent in every studio work that you can think of. As in many labels launched from his own produced “SPREADTUNE STUDIOâ€, tracks collaborated with DJ Tsuyoshi, studio works with Anoyo artists such as USCUS, OMB, RICE (Psychedelic project of Haruo Chikada), and recently mastering and mixing down many albums for “Arcadiaâ€, one of the top 3 biggest psychedelic organizer in Japan, for sure his sound work is no more than professional.
    The style of “I.B.I.S†sound can be categorized as full on trance, using many rough creshaed??, drop down phrases making the audience go twisted with his wicked hooks and samples in highest sound quality.
    Recently he has been releasing tracks in many compilations such as “VA/After 10 years of Japanese Trance (ELF-MUSIC)â€compiled with all tracks from Japanese artists, “VA/Trance Form(Last Xenobiology)â€QQS compiled of recent trance scene, and entry like “VA/Psytrance God is Back (Taishidou)†compiled with DJ Tsuyoshi, his work is definitely creating more fans of beat junkies holding the “speed antenna†and making the normal citizens go lost, From 80’s break beat to minor B class movies, any kinds of dusty old sound samples can be produced to freshest trance music by his creation. To bring up the psy-trance scene to another stage, the heavy door of studio has just opened.
     
  16. kaniz

    kaniz TRIBE Member

    the full-on of this thread has spirited my lift up and enlightetned my harmony to the joys of psy-grish.
     
  17. Subsonic Chronic

    Subsonic Chronic TRIBE Member

    I was really expecting a more "proggy" cover for Yahel's latest CD, but this is still humourous.

    [​IMG]
     
  18. kaniz

    kaniz TRIBE Member

    ack, I listented to a few sound samples from that CD (used to like him quite a bit a year or two ago)

    it made my skin crawl and my ears bleed - horrible, horrible.
     

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