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being too picky?

dvs

TRIBE Promoter
i've been single for some time now and though i date here and there i simply haven't found someone who i've clicked with enough to get into anything serious.

i guess what bothers me is that i've had more than a few friends tell me that i'm simply being too picky when they ask me why i'm not with anyone. ...that i shouldn't be looking for ms. perfect (trust me... i'm a realist... there is no such thing as perfect) and give girls more of a chance before ending things.

maybe i simply don't want to settle for someone who doesn't fulfill me the way i'd like to be. is there anything wrong with that? is there anything wrong with being somewhat 'picky'? i say why settle for mediocrity? if it's not there then it's just not there... just the way i see it...

i guess i can't understand how people can be in a relationship out of the need for companionship or sex when other things are lacking. your thoughts?

d
 

Prickly Pete

TRIBE Member
I am the same way as you... almost exactly... my last really serious relationship was 2.5 years agod and the longest one I have had since then is 2 months... I am picky and everyone knows it... it sucks at times but I accept it...
 

dvs

TRIBE Promoter
Prickly Pete said:
I am the same way as you... almost exactly... my last really serious relationship was 2.5 years agod and the longest one I have had since then is 2 months... I am picky and everyone knows it... it sucks at times but I accept it...
alomst exact timelines for myself. two months is my usual cut-off for dating trials it seems as well.

d
 
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alexd

Administrator
Staff member
dvs said:
maybe i simply don't want to settle for someone who doesn't fulfill me the way i'd like to be. is there anything wrong with that? is there anything wrong with being somewhat 'picky'? i say why settle for mediocrity? if it's not there then it's just not there... just the way i see it...
d

= healthy

its your life, not your friends' life
 

CiG

TRIBE Member
I find something wrong with every girl I start seeing... Used to tell my self I was being picky... Turns out I'm just scared of committing to a serious relationship...

1-2 months tops... Lets start a club...
 

litespeed

Well-Known TRIBEr
dvs said:
i've been single for some time now and though i date here and there i simply haven't found someone who i've clicked with enough to get into anything serious.

i guess what bothers me is that i've had more than a few friends tell me that i'm simply being too picky when they ask me why i'm not with anyone. ...that i shouldn't be looking for ms. perfect (trust me... i'm a realist... there is no such thing as perfect) and give girls more of a chance before ending things.

maybe i simply don't want to settle for someone who doesn't fulfill me the way i'd like to be. is there anything wrong with that? is there anything wrong with being somewhat 'picky'? i say why settle for mediocrity? if it's not there then it's just not there... just the way i see it...

i guess i can't understand how people can be in a relationship out of the need for companionship or sex when other things are lacking. your thoughts?

d



nothing wrong with that at all.
when you're ready to "be with someone" you will be.

I'm the same way.
 

junglegirl

TRIBE Member
its seems like a lot of guys are in your shoes dvs

good to know

I would like to know what would fulfill you? do you even know?
 
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Big Cheese

TRIBE Member
dvs said:
i say why settle for mediocrity? if it's not there then it's just not there...
*touches fist*

respect

same boat, i'm mad picky but when you finally find someone to put forth 150% of your everything into, it's well worth it.
 

SpaceBabe

TRIBE Member
alexd said:
= healthy

its your life, not your friends' life
Being picky about a partner is definitely not a bad thing at all.

Don't be with someone JUST for the sake of having a companion I say.
 

lucky1

TRIBE Member
I'm a chick and haven't been in anything longer than 3 months since my ex and I broke up 3 years ago. I'm not sure why but things just never work out... not really on my end but the guys I'm seeing just sorta start standing me up , not calling, or showing up when we make plans. Its actually pretty sad and my ego is taking a bit of beating becasue of this. :(
 

Interchange

TRIBE Promoter
dvs said:
i've been single for some time now and though i date here and there i simply haven't found someone who i've clicked with enough to get into anything serious.

i guess what bothers me is that i've had more than a few friends tell me that i'm simply being too picky when they ask me why i'm not with anyone. ...that i shouldn't be looking for ms. perfect (trust me... i'm a realist... there is no such thing as perfect) and give girls more of a chance before ending things.

maybe i simply don't want to settle for someone who doesn't fulfill me the way i'd like to be. is there anything wrong with that? is there anything wrong with being somewhat 'picky'? i say why settle for mediocrity? if it's not there then it's just not there... just the way i see it...

i guess i can't understand how people can be in a relationship out of the need for companionship or sex when other things are lacking. your thoughts?

d
This sounds like a personal ad - just add - single white fireman on the prowl ;)
 
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supakeli

TRIBE Member
Nothing wrong with it at all. When you're ready, you'll find the one that "clicks".
I've "settled" before, thinking that I was too picky and a commitment-phobe and I had to grow up.
No matter what I told myself, I was never satisfied and I ended up wasting a large amount of time being in a unfulfilling relationship.

Not worth it.
 

junglegirl

TRIBE Member
maybe a robust lady is just what you need ev?

lucky1 - dont let them get you down...there are still nice ones out there :)
 

Muffin

TRIBE Member
I think it's fine to be picky, as long as it isn't at the expense of being open-minded.
 
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lucky1

TRIBE Member
you gotta wonder sometimes..lol

Time is hard fro me to schedule (school and work eat up most of it) so i just really hate when someone wastes my time.. if you don't want to see me fine.. I'm pretty understanding..just tell me straight up... but its the whole make plans then sketch out on me so I end up wasting my night when I would have made alternative plans to see my girls or something... it just my biggest pet peeve and seems I keep attracting people who don't get this
 
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outofcontrol

TRIBE Member
I've been thinking this for awhile as well.
What can you really do if you really haven't met anyone you really connect with?

I'm holding out for sure.
 

dvs

TRIBE Promoter
junglegirl said:
its seems like a lot of guys are in your shoes dvs

good to know

I would like to know what would fulfill you? do you even know?
i'm pretty easy going but i'm not sure i could answer your question easliy... guess i know what i want but just have trouble finding the 'total package'.

while i'll readily admit commitment-phobia may have been a factor years ago it hasn't played a role in any relationships/dating at all recently. they just don't measure up to the standard i've set in my head and many think i'm simply aiming too high. lol fuck 'em i say. guess i'll just be patient and let the chips fall where they may...

d

p.s. this is in no way intended to solicit dates here on tribe 'mrs. peacock'. come to think of it... is there a mr. peacock i don't know about? lol
 

CO2

TRIBE Member
Nothing wrong with being picky, as long as its being picky about the right things, and not about the things that dont really matter in the end.
 
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