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baby help

quantumize

TRIBE Member
I need advice in order to advise somebody.

I have a part time job, which is more of a tiem filler than anything else. I am a waiter at the Keg. The job is great yadda yadda yadda... last night I was working and one of the waitresses asks me if I can talk for a minute. She proceeds to ask me advice on a big issue. I want to give her good advice and I hope I will but I thought tribe could help her.

She had a baby @ 19 with her boyfriend. Things were not going that well between teh two of them, but they decided to keep the baby and try to make it work. The baby is now 20 months old, she now 20 years old and they are getting by. By her account he is an amazing father. She has decided that the relationship needs to end between her and the babies father. She wants to know what to do. I asked her why she wants to end.. and the reason came out, she has been messing around with a waiter who works there. I dont know what to tell her.

what do i tell her ?

she was really broken up and crying and all that stuff, and if any of you know me you know I was VERY unconfortable with this sort of thing. I really want to help but I dont know what to tell her, I told her I'd thinka bout it for a few days and get back to her.. advise the advisor please !
 

PRIMAL

TRIBE Member
Be honest and tell her that you have no clue what she should do, so all your advice is going to be barfed up from a message board.
 

geminigirl

TRIBE Member
I think she needs to focus on the baby more and getting herself in check instead of hangin' out with a new guy. She better be careful or she may get knocked up again. I think she has so much growing up to do. That is very young to be a parent. I hope she has a good family support system of some sort. I think she just has to be very careful, as she is this child's role model..so hopefully she is not introducing new guys until she is very sure it's going to be long term. Even babies that young are aware when things are not going well with Mommy and Daddy. So she better think about what this is doing to her little one. Children need stability..so she needs to grow up fast to be a strong parent.
 

solacevip

TRIBE Promoter
Ask her if the waiter (that's fooling around with her) is willing to be a part of her and her baby's life.
 
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dyad

TRIBE Member
ya I would have to say tell her you have no clue as to what to tell her, you cant offer advice, but she has your support and sympathy because its a really difficult situation.

if anything you can refer her to community organizations that are geared toward young mothers.
 

rubytuesday

TRIBE Member
Is she worried that the baby's father will fuck off if she breaks up with him?
In that case it's really tricky. Obviously if the father is great as a dad she should try to ensure that he'll stay in the child's life, although not necessarily by lying to him. I think she should tell the father how she feels, if they're only staying together for the baby's sake things will not get better.
 
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Amy_J

TRIBE Member
If you don't know what to tell her then tell her you don't know.

I know people who've been in the same situation and it's impossible to advise on anything when kids are involved. I will say that she should realize that what she wants comes second to her child now and she should be more concerned about what will happen if her and the father split and start plannig for that instead of worrying about another guy.
 

agentRC4

TRIBE Member
Tell that HO to keep her legs closed and put her priorties on her 20 month old child that relies her her and father for everything.
 

quantumize

TRIBE Member
rubytuesday said:
Is she worried that the baby's father will fuck off if she breaks up with him?
no shes actually worried that if he finds out that he will fight long and hard for custody

and as for the waiter..lets call him Snakes* [for simplicities sake] is a good friend of mine, he has an amazing girlfriend that he has been with for many years and they broke up 2 weeks ago, I think snakes and his ex will get back together leaving this girl alone, and I dont think she realizes this









* as in snakes on a plane
 
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thom100

TRIBE Member
well there you go the answer is easy now with the new info-
Make sure the girl with the kid tells the father.

The child deserves to have a good father rather then a shitty mother.
 

quantumize

TRIBE Member
thom.. your so right, but i'm just going to be honest and tell her I dont know what advice to give her.

I'm going to tell her that I have no idea what to tel her and that I dont know. I wish she had asked geminigirl, she would have been able to help.


wow... tribe actually gave me advice to BE HONEST !!! i'm shocked..and not one sarcastic reply..thanks tribe i love u greasy bastards
 

Cheer Bear

TRIBE Member
What Maxine said. I'm surprised she thinks it's a good idea. Children need stability. Introducing new men to a child all the time is NOT a good idea. She needs to grow up, and do some long hard thinking. Luckily, cheating isn't grounds for custody, however if she's into drugs or anything and the boyfriend knows it, she may be fucked.

And this thread isn't really about "baby help" so much as a "parent fucking around" help
 
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Crazlegs

TRIBE Member
Wow .......... this girl sounds like she needs to grow up! I really feel sorry for the baby. Cause to me she is putting her needs above the needs of her child. To risk her childs happiness and stability so she can make out with some guy on the rebound is irresponsible and quite frankly, stupid. If her baby daddy finds out and decides to go for custody she deserves the hassle.
 

LeoGirl

TRIBE Member
This girl is obviously very young and very confused. If she's unhappy in the relationship with the father I think it's better for her to leave - by no means implying that the father shouldn't still be a part of the babies life. But it's better that both parents be happy than unhappy. I'm not a supporter of 'sticking it out' for the sake of the child.

As far as the 'other guy' - she needs to step back. Re-assess why she's doign this. Because she's lonely, unhappy. Her baby comes first. I'm a firm believer that time alone to figure your shit out is better than finding comfort in the arms of who ever is around. But with a baby involved and again, being so young I think she needs a lot of support and good advice. I think it's unfair to say she's being selfish - even though she is, I'm sure her intension isn't as such. She's young and still has a lot of personal growth to experience.

I'm rushed and at work, hope that makes sense.
 
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Eclectic

TRIBE Member
Why not just say the baby is almost 2?

After 11 months why do people hold onto that for age?

Seriously....that bugs me.

Now on to what you're asking about.

Tell her to leave SoaMFP alone...especially if he's getting back with his ex.
 

kyfe

TRIBE Member
More importantly


which Kelseys do you work at

why do you care about some stupid chick that's screwing around with another guy while living with the babies father who she is still together with? Tell her to fuck off and be done with it or tell her to ask the guy she's fucking for advice.

She sounds like she should be missing teeth and her being a slut is preventing her child from having a normal childhood
 
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