anybody else have this problem

[swilly]

I consider my home to be kingston and all my friends from highschool and from when i was growing up are all from there. But when my parents split up ( divorce) my mum moved back to her reservation and my dad went to woodstock.


so everyyear when the holidays come round or any family event i have to go to her hometown where i know nobody and sit around and do nothing. her town is some 2 hours away from the nearest city of sudbury which as we all know is not really a major center of culture or clubbing or anything except nickel.

for xmas it makes me nuts because i have nothing to do up there. All my other mates get to go home visit all our missed friends go to big xmas parties and even work a bit.

I get to do a big nothing. My bro and sister are some 10 years older and have kids and dont like going out anymore.

It sucks so every xmas what should be a happy time i am always upset because when everybody else gets to go for piss ups see friends and family i get to vist my family but not friends.

Like half of xmas is lost to me

that and i cant stand my mums side of the family they are such rednecks except they are not thier indians. I totally dont fit in with in them


anyone else get this as well like maybe you grew up somewhere and then your family moved to another city after you started university ......
how do you deal with it?
I am kinda in a unique situation i think, as i have the double factors of not getting on with my mums side of the family and her home being located so far away and the predominance of redneck culture so to say

maybe i just freaking out

swilly

 

[joey]

Ah shit, dude I feel for you. You have to spend a meesly few days with your family once a year....

Sucks! You cant go out drinking!!?!??!!

Man. enjoy your family time....
there are some 360 other days of the year you can go drinking with your "mates"

btw, you're back in Canada now. Your english slang is no longer acceptable.

 

[swilly]

Originally posted by joey
Ah shit, dude I feel for you. You have to spend a meesly few days with your family once a year....

Sucks! You cant go out drinking!!?!??!!

Man. enjoy your family time....
there are some 360 other days of the year you can go drinking with your "mates"

btw, you're back in Canada now. Your english slang is no longer acceptable.

you dont understand
you took it completly the wrong way
swilly

 

[PosTMOd]

Don't do something you don't enjoy, for the mere sake of tradition.

 

[labRat]

swill's, what town is it? gogama?

and were you at the goodlife today at about 3ish?

 

[swilly]

Originally posted by PosTMOd
Don't do something you don't enjoy, for the mere sake of tradition.

good point but then you get family guilt
I just wish there was some way of having even a marginal overlap of my social life and my family life during the holidays of any type
swilly

 

[swilly]

Originally posted by labRat
swill's, what town is it? gogama?

and were you at the goodlife today at about 3ish?

ya i was about to send you a PM
hahaha you had this "deer caught in the headlights" look on your face.
Must of been a good work out.
I get that way if i run too long

Also the town is manitowaning, there is one bar that serves 2 types of beer a general store and garage
the biggest town on the island has a 2 bars, and 2 general stores and a marina
its ok but i get really worn out up there for some reason

swilly

 

[PosTMOd]

Originally posted by swilly
good point but then you get family guilt

Guilt is a useless feeling.

 

[Mz. SPy]

Is that North of Sudbury?


Well, anyways, I have a few friends that have to go throught the same thing. I'm from a small town up North and every year I go back and there is less people coming back for the holidays. Maybe next year you can organize some sort of deal that you can go to Kingston for a weekend before or after Christmas and then spend the rest of the holiday with your family. This is what one of my friends did.

I do like spending time with my parents but I go back home usually to hang with my friends from high school. The only time you really have to be there is for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

 

[PosTMOd]

Originally posted by Mz. SPy
The only time you really have to be there is for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

Are you christian?

 

[labRat]

Originally posted by swilly
ya i was about to send you a PM
hahaha you had this "deer caught in the headlights" look on your face.
Must of been a good work out.
I get that way if i run too long

Also the town is manitowaning, there is one bar that serves 2 types of beer a general store and garage
the biggest town on the island has a 2 bars, and 2 general stores and a marina
its ok but i get really worn out up there for some reason

swilly

heh. i was probably staring at someone's boobs. i usually do that.

sounds like quite the town. little towns like that are painful to visit sometime since you really don't have any opportunities to 'escape'.

i was in timmins for the xmas break. larger town, but just as isolated.

 

[Mz. SPy]

Originally posted by PosTMOd
Are you christian?

yeah, i'm also polish so there is no getting away from the big feast.

the point i was trying to make is that possibly you can spend a bit of the holidays in one place and a bit of the holidays in another.

 

[R4V4G3D_SKU11S]

From what I know, there is actually a scene in Sudbury.

PM JayBrain.

 

[Mz. SPy]

Originally posted by labRat
i was in timmins for the xmas break. larger town, but just as isolated. [/B]

that's where i'm from, and that's where i spent my christmas break.

weird.

 

[labRat]

in timmins proper, or (south) porcupine?

xtollo was there as well.
i was supposed to hook up with him , but ran out of time.

 

[Mz. SPy]

i hung out with him a few times while there. we even went tubing at Kamiskotia. Weeeeeee!!!

and in Timmins, no South End for me!

 

[PosTMOd]

Originally posted by Mz. SPy
yeah, i'm also polish so there is no getting away from the big feast.

the point i was trying to make is that possibly you can spend a bit of the holidays in one place and a bit of the holidays in another.

It sounds like you actually enjoy the time with your family, which makes it quite a different situation.

I'm beginning to enjoy time with my family, though not at Christmas, which is why I cancelled it completely. I just don't do things I don't enjoy, and I most definitely won't feel guilty about it.

 

[swilly]

Originally posted by Mz. SPy
Maybe next year you can organize some sort of deal that you can go to Kingston for a weekend before or after Christmas and then spend the rest of the holiday with your family. This is what one of my friends did.

I do like spending time with my parents but I go back home usually to hang with my friends from high school. The only time you really have to be there is for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day.

its south east of sudbury on manitoulin island. But it is very isolated some 2 hours away from sudbury. The thing is i like spending time with my family but i also liked beng with my friends as well. Back in before my family split up i could go to little xmas parties with my friends and go xmas shopping with my family and then have mulitple xmas dinners at my friends and families places. It was a really nice balance of family and friends. Although there is no question about xmas being about family it is also about being with your close friends as well. I really miss having my friends over every year to play risk at my house or have family vs family competitions of it.

oh well i suppose life is based on impermanence

 

[swilly]

Originally posted by PosTMOd
It sounds like you actually enjoy the time with your family, which makes it quite a different situation.

I'm beginning to enjoy time with my family, though not at Christmas, which is why I cancelled it completely. I just don't do things I don't enjoy, and I most definitely won't feel guilty about it.

i wish i had your bravery my family would freak on me if i decided not to go. To aborginals xmas is massive event and it would be an immense insult if i did not go. My mum actually yelled at me this year for staying an extra 3 days in waterloo to work this year so i could afford to make a payment on my credit card.
She said "what is more important extra money for your card or spending time with your family?"
Unlike the credit bureua there is a slim chance my family will remember a mess up for 7 years. So i had to work

i should think about it though
what does your family think? are they not upset
swilly

 

[PosTMOd]

Originally posted by swilly
what does your family think? are they not upset

I have no idea. If they are it's their problem, not mine. I am not responsible for how they feel.