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An open letter to Tribe

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by Harmonika, Aug 25, 2003.

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  1. Harmonika

    Harmonika TRIBE Member

    I'm pissed, and I'm tired. It's 6:40 in the morning, and my girlfriend is nowhere to be heard from, even though she told me she'd be home at around 10:00 p.m. last night. There's a certain individual on this board who's name I won't mention, and even though FDG says that he's all bark and no bite, he still threatened me with my life on more than one occasion. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him, and I swear, if he's laid one hand on her body there will be hell to pay (and please note the wording - unlike certain other parties, I've never been to jail, and have no intention of ever doing so - the worst I've ever received has been a speeding ticket, and I learned my lesson *fast*). Suffice to say, I'm *very* concerned for her well-being.

    I'm seriously thinking about ditching this board - the negativity and resistance I encounter on a day to day basis is killing me. I post on several European boards as well, and I have to say that the majority of the time it's like talking to people in a different universe. There are many exceptions on Tribe, but it always comes down to a few jerkoffs and assholes who want to ruin the party for everyone else.

    To those people (and you know who you are), I only have this to say:

    Talk to me when your biological father was out of your life before you were even a year old.

    Talk to me when the replacement dad you received (not like I had a say in the matter, though I wish I had) beat you fifteen to twenty times a shot, for seven years straight, with a two-inch wide leather belt on your bare ass, for something that kids do all the time - lying. Beating a child doesn't teach them not to lie - it simply turns them into more accomplished liars. Those seven years held me back until just recently - of course this was after the nervous breakdown, the subsequent EIGHT YEARS of clinical depression and several near-suicides (thank God I'm not *that* selfish).

    Talk to me when the same individual held your hand on an open 60W lightbulb, at age 6, to show you how hot it was after he caught you playing with a balloon on it, watching it crinkle and wrap around in the heat.

    Talk to me when you had uncles who you thought the world of, who decided it was o.k. to get a little too 'friendly' with you, when no one else was watching.

    Talk to me when nearly your entire formative years were spent surrounded by yelling, screaming and smashing. At around 11 years of age, I came into the upstairs bathroom in our house after a particularly bad night and found blood dripping on the bathroom mirror. Nice, huh?

    Talk to me when your stepdad's parents first ignored you, then when you were placed in their CARE, chose to punish you by locking you in a small room, with no TV, no books (one of my true loves as a child), no food, no water, and a generous smack on the back of the head after finally receiving permission to use the washroom.

    Talk to me when the same people, after they'd tired of that game, decided to get even more mental by lavishing gifts and attention on their son's son, while ignoring what they obviously considered to be the family bastard. They then had the audacity to try to make it up to me later on with MONEY. I'm glad they're gone - they were sick, twisted people who drowned in their own ignorance and stupidity.

    Talk to me when every dream you've ever had has been met with

    NO
    WON'T
    SHOULDN'T
    CAN'T
    DON'T

    ...and every other negative that can possibly be imagined. Can you believe that my step-dad, after hearing me rave about my love of music for over two decades, refered to it as my "d.j. thing"? I was actually gullible enough to think that he was going to help me at one point and time, when I was really pushing myself and wanted to get my music career truly launched. After drawing up a full business plan (his demand), the reaction I received was:

    If you think I'm going to help you with this, you're STUPID.

    This, from a man who has a coin collection that's probably worth well over $100K, who has more than sufficient funds tied up in RRSPs and God-only-knows what else, and who owns a beautiful house on an acre of wooded property, drives a nice, shiny red Caddy and puts more pride in his 27' sailboat than he does his own family.

    Talk to me when the same person sits and watches your retired Aunt (who is so devoted to our family it isn't even remotely funny) drain her entire pension fund so she can put her own mother in a substandard nursing home, while he hangs out in fucking God-awful Brockville and worries about himself. FUCKING SELFISH ASSHOLE!!!

    Talk to me when your own parents have to take TWO WEEKS to decide to lend you a paltry $25 a week for therapy given at scale, when you've let them know in no uncertain terms that you're so down that you've been considering seriously hurting yourself. Just fucking wonderful - so giving, don't you think?

    Talk to me when your half-brother, who makes over $40K per year, and owns an Acura NSX as well as three motorcycles, kicks you out of his place, broke and despondent, over a lousy $330 of cash and weed you owe him.

    Want me to go on? Fuck you, I won't give you the satisfaction.

    I've been devoted to my music since day one. When most kids were getting Looney Toons acetates and "This Land Is Your Land" on vinyl as kids, I asked for, and received for my birthday, Neil Diamond - "Gold" - at age four, no less. When most kids were running around chasing girls, I was in my friend's basement, learning how to splice mixes together using one turntable and a tape deck. When most of you were attending highschool dances, I was taking road trips to Montreal and Hull, scamming my way into nightclubs so I could see how the real d.j.s did it.

    I've sunk myself into total poverty in staying dedicated to my music. And you know what? That's o.k., because it's MY MUSIC, and even though nearly everyone around me has tried to suck my well dry, the one thing they can't take from me is my SOUL. God is sound - this is why I stay dedicated, and it is also part and parcel as to why I'm so devoted, to both Him and the sweet melodies I make and play.

    So go ahead, cut me up all you want. Fucking pussies - sit in front of your blinking screens all day, racking up 10,000-20,000+ posts when you're being paid to do work for someone else - now that's what I call honesty.

    You can't draw blood from a stone, and be forewarned - I am a fucking rock. Your insults and complaints do *nothing* to me, because I can see right through all of you, right down to the bottom of your FALSE, BLACK HEARTS.

    So why don't you just continue on with what you're doing. Go ahead, waste your days blathering on about nothing of any significance ("oooh, what pant leg should I put on first this morning?" "do you think I look better with my hair parted on this side, or the other?"), eating your processed foods, polluting MY beautiful downtown with your useless, gas-guzzling SUVs and sports cars that you drive in from the suburbs Monday to Friday so you can go push paper in your cell of a cubicle in your nice, tiny, faceless office tower, leaving a nice dome of pollution and fucked up weather patterns over my home, littering everywhere you go, consuming everything and giving *nothing* of any value in return.

    Keep at it, because when the bubble does finally burst (and it will happen, mark my words), you won't have a fucking leg to stand on. When the corporations and money hoarders collapse, when the utterly disgusting fast-food industry finally meets its long-overdue demise, when all of your little guilty pleasures finally get taken away from you, it will be people like me who will be the only ones left standing. This is because I've had to exist as a suvivour from the getgo.

    Ever sleep on a mat on a hardwood floor for ten months straight, in 30C+ weather, with mice and roaches crawling over you in the middle of the night, just so you could work with some of the most brilliant underground musicians in the world?

    Ever spend five days in a hospital in the middle of Muslim territory in The Philippines with a broken back and a 104F fever, with next to no one to relate to or converse with? I didn't think so.

    So, to all of you who question my motivation, honestly and most definitely my Spirituality - you all ought to be fucking ashamed of yourselves. Don't cry to me how hard you have it - I'm thirty-four fucking years old, and I KNOW suffering.

    Fuck, fuck, fuck - Alex, my most profound apologies for the nature of this post, but it's been building up for too long and simply had to be said. Remove it if you so desire, but I really think that certain members of this so-called "Tribe" have to sit the fuck up and pay attention to more than the near-sighted, bloated, pimply faces that stare back at them when they look in the mirror each and every morning.

    It's your life - DEAL WITH IT, AND STAY THE FUCK OUT OF MINE.

    GOT THAT???!!! :mad:

    i.
     
  2. Bass-Invader

    Bass-Invader TRIBE Member


    Although I've never questioned anything about you. I don't see how telling a story about how shit you think your life is makes you any more spiritual than anyone else.
     
  3. swenard

    swenard TRIBE Member

    Are you looking for sympathy?


    Cause the only sympathy I have is for your girlfriend and anyone else who knows you.
     
  4. JayIsBored

    JayIsBored TRIBE Member

    omg you and eminem have so much in common!
     
  5. Klubmasta Will

    Klubmasta Will TRIBE Member

    guys/gals, maybe this is not the best time to be posting snarky remarks and rebuttals. everyone needs to vent sometimes.

    ian - i hope your girlfriend turns up safe and sound.

    peace.
     
  6. chooch

    chooch TRIBE Member

    ditto
     
  7. Harmonika

    Harmonika TRIBE Member

    Ever been to Sunday School? Have you ever read the fucking BIBLE? Even ONCE?

    St. Matthew, Chapter 5, verses 3-11:

    Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

    Blessed are they who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

    Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.

    Blessed are they who hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled.

    Blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy.

    Blessed are the pure in heart, for *they* shall see GOD.

    Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called the children of GOD.

    Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake, for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

    Blessed are *ye*, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for MY sake.


    Getting the clue yet, Einstein? Sorry, I know you're good folk, I'm just not in the mood to be crossed or questioned this morning. We'll shake hands and make up later - for now, I'm too upset.

    Hmmm, maybe a warm bath with soothe what ails me. Bubbles always help...

    See? Better already. ;)

    i.
     
  8. Harmonika

    Harmonika TRIBE Member

    Thanks Will and Chooch - we are talking about FrenchDiscoGirl here, just so you know. I've called her at least a half-dozen times over the course of the night - no response.

    If anyone knows her and lives up in her area, please, do me a favour and check in on her. I don't even have money for bus fare to go myself.

    i.<---quite worried
     
  9. Bass-Invader

    Bass-Invader TRIBE Member

    I've read it, In fact I spent a good 16 years as a catholic. I am well aware of what that book says. It does not mean that anyone is more or less spiritual than another due to their (perceved) quality of life. Spirituality (in that book) stems from love of God and nothing else.

    Regardless, I somehow missed the short paragraph on his g/f dissapearing, so I will stop aggravating this thread for now.
     
  10. Harmonika

    Harmonika TRIBE Member

    ...and Swenard (or is it SWINEard?), as I said before - DON'T FUCK WITH A MAN OF GOD, IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S FUCKING GOOD FOR YOU.

    Great, I spill my guts, and this is the fucking compassion I receive. You should be so fucking proud of yourself.

    i.
     
  11. Harmonika

    Harmonika TRIBE Member

    Kelly's home, I'm talking to her now, and she's fine...silly gal had just dozed off to la-la land, and refused to wake up to my calls.

    That's one part of the problem out of the way, but I still stand by everything else I said - some people on this board just need to WAKE THE FUCK UP.

    *Now* I can go have my tub and relax - think I'll light some incense to clear the bad air.

    Oh sorry, is that too spiritual a thing to do? I wouldn't want to offend anyone with my God-respecting views or anything... :p

    i.
     
  12. swenard

    swenard TRIBE Member

    It seemed to me, that your a loser and looking for sympathy.

    Now I realize that it IS the case.

    You are even asking for sympathy in the post I quoted.
     
  13. futronic

    futronic TRIBE Member

    ian,

    I would disregard most people's commentary towards you. The majority of these people don't know you and haven't met you. You're a stand-up guy and look out for others.

    I'm glad that Kelly's okay and I understand your concern. That said, you should know by now that she's not very good at answering the phone or returning messages. :p ;)

    -- Jay aka Fut
     
  14. KiX

    KiX TRIBE Member

    oh my god go away already. it's like the entire megalomania of the board combined into one whiny delusional self-righteous biblethumper.

    =tina=
     
  15. labRat

    labRat TRIBE Member

    go tina!


    er... go banana.
     
  16. Jennika

    Jennika TRIBE Member

    the letter reminds me of Axel Rose's laments... without the fame


    "don't you cry tonight there's a heaven above now baby"
     
  17. Prickly Pete

    Prickly Pete TRIBE Member

    I feel sorry for you and the problems you have had in your life... I really do...

    but this statement is just plain silly...

    I won't reveal my spiritual believes but statements like this do not make me want to be spiritual/religious at all...
     
  18. K_la

    K_la TRIBE Member

     
  19. KiX

    KiX TRIBE Member

    funny, it reminds me of steaming feces.

    =tina=
     
  20. Spinsah

    Spinsah TRIBE Member

    kix, as eloquent and biting as your digs at our dear friend harmonika are, the guy obviously has some serious issues. he should be placed into 'roo' status and just left alone.
     
  21. swenard

    swenard TRIBE Member

    He's gone now and he isn't coming back to read responses, so technically... the loser is being left alone.
     
  22. KiX

    KiX TRIBE Member

    roo was awesome tho. she didn't create a whirlwind of bogus drama and make petty attempts to get attention while smiting all the heathens around her. sorry but if you come on here and pull all that shit and cross lines that make this *public* messageboard an uncomfortable place to be, don't expect to not get called out for it.

    =tina=
     
  23. chooch

    chooch TRIBE Member

    interesting choice of words....
     
  24. daddyiwantchocolate

    daddyiwantchocolate TRIBE Member

    You're lucky she's talking to you at all after that absolutely retarded thread you posted on Friday night.
     
  25. labRat

    labRat TRIBE Member

    he's still online. or at least so says the little yellow indicator.
     
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