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advice: connecting on the dancefloor

headwinds

TRIBE Promoter
a friend of mine is going through the withdrawls of being too shy on the dancefloor. He had ample opportunity to say something ( <-- great James track) to the ladies that kept darting in and out his personal space...

Where these girls just enjoying the comfort of dancing with a guy who they knew wouldn't hit on them... or did they did they really want him to do something and that's why they came so close... he said - and I quote - "a hands-width away"?

If they kept turning their back to him, do you think that he could have reached out and gently caressed her back without freaking her out? ( slime!)

I told him to move to at least move to her side and try make eye contact before you do anything physical, and if you do move closer with your body, don't reach out until its totally obvious that she will accept that gesture...

what would you advise?
 
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randyval

TRIBE Member
carreyprom.gif
 

Krzysiu

TRIBE Member
people don't like being disturbed when dancing. even if they are crusing. if he's horny, stick him by the bar and tell him to chat up someone he likes and offer to by her a drink.

I dunno, could work?
 

L'ilMisSunshine

TRIBE Member
I'm a friendly girl, I smile a lot, I enjoy dancing. MANY guys misinterpret that to mean they should touch my ass. Not cool.

My advice is never to touch a girl you haven't spoken to. After establishing some conversation and if she hasn't moved away or cooled off in her behaviour then I suggest offering her a drink. That is a more subtle sign of interest than touching her and less likely to turn her off. Then touching her on the arm or back during conversation is probably fine.
 
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zoo

TRIBE Member
your friend is not going to get anywhere if he doesn't try to initiate a conversation

at worst, the girl will shrug him off, and perhaps he can modify his approach to be more conservative or more aggressive, whatever necessary

i bet at least 1 out of 10 girls wouldn't mind your buddy tapping them on the shoulder and introducing himself / asking their names / asking if they want a drink

play the odds! :p
 

Big Cheese

TRIBE Member
if some next girls got it going on and she's dancing closer n' what not. make eye contact and dance with the person, fuck it. take the hint, it's not like you're asking for her digits or anything

if you're dancing for the sake of dancing, i suppose it makes it easier (personally speaking imho). but if you've got them hungry eyes for her, then i see why his balls might shrink up if he's a shy guy but still....

what's the worst thing that can happen, she just pulls away?

*single tear*

grow a set and do something
 
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Thumpr

TRIBE Member
yea, the dancefloor ain't for picking up, it's for getting down with your bad self.

CAN I GET AN AMEN!
 

glych t.anomaly

TRIBE Member
ALWAYS ALWAYS PICK UP ON THEM UP ON THE DANCE FLOOR [ even if they dont know you have picked them up ] AND FOLLOW THEM TO THE BATHROOM AND WAIT OUTSIDE TILL THEY COME BACK OUT.


this is key


[jai]
 
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keld

TRIBE Member
my advise is within the first few seconds you think she might be fit, say something non-picky-upy to her. hey cool shoes, i love this track, etc. you're just a cool guy enjoying himself talking to the people around him. if she isn't interested, you'll get the message. otherwise, give it a minute then start asking her open ended questions. where'd you get that bracelet, what kind of music do you like. jesus, don't offer to buy her a drink, don't tell her she's beautiful, don't ask if she has a boyfriend.
 

peko

TRIBE Member
shylock_one said:
Touching without saying anything beforehand is just plain creepy.

repeat x10. FYI: NO girls are cool with touching before speaking.

'hey how's it going?' is a basic ice breaker, or maybe start by MAKING EYE CONTACT and then move into speaking.

All girls are different.

P.S. Check out the Crush thread for some tips on how to approach a girl, or search out 'system' and 'creep' t review WHAT NOT TO DO on the dance floor.
 

peko

TRIBE Member
keld said:
my advise is within the first few seconds you think she might be fit, say something non-picky-upy to her. hey cool shoes, i love this track, etc. you're just a cool guy enjoying himself talking to the people around him. if she isn't interested, you'll get the message. otherwise, give it a minute then start asking her open ended questions. where'd you get that bracelet, what kind of music do you like. jesus, don't offer to buy her a drink, don't tell her she's beautiful, don't ask if she has a boyfriend.

this is good, definitely don't offer to buy her a drink (at least not at first).

BUT, if it feels right, ask if she wants to go grab some food in the morning postdancing(if you're booging all night).
 
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