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A Junglist Christmas

junglegirl

TRIBE Member
'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the flat
Not a record was stirring, not even one DAT
The beats were mixed proper in to the track
In hopes that Grooverider would add them to his sack

The mc was almost passed out from hittin' the fatty
Chilled the fuck out from some yule tied natty
My girl in her skullie, and I in my Technics cap
Had just got baked before a long winter's nap

When out on the street there arose vicious bass
I opened my red eyes to check what's up in my place
Away to the window I stumbled and crashed
Fanned away the smoke and brushed away the trash

The smog made the light have barely a glow
So I could barely see shit parked down below
When, what to my wondering ears should I hear
But the Valve sound system. Fuck! My ears!!

With a little old dj, so wicked and bold
I knew in a moment it wasn't Oakenfold
More bangin' than earthquakes his mixes they came
Then a whole crew showed up, you wouldn't believe the names!

"Yo, Fabio! Yo, Marky! Yo, Pascal and Brian G.!
Big up, Hype, Grooverider, Bailey and Andy C!
From turntable one to turn table two!
Pull out your plates and rinse it till noon!"

As they started to wreck it punters jumped out
I think I heard a dude selling mix tapes startin' to shout
And then around the corner a little bit later
A Benz-0 rolled up with Goldie and Navigator

A few minutes later I heard from the roof
The sneaking of trainers sounding aloof
As I starting swaying back (I was still fucking bent!)
Up the stairwell carrying an antennae they went

They were dressed in black from their head to their feet
I'm sure that shit looked fucked up to a cop on the street
A bunch of stereo equipment they had in their mits
It was some pirate motherfuckers coming to broadcast this shit

By now the crowd outside was anything but calm
As an a-list of djs dropped bomb after bomb
Mad crazy dubs got put on the platter
As each dj flexed, the beats kept getting fatter

A stump of a bowl I held tight to my teeth
I swear the smoke looked like a Christmas wreath
This shit was too crazy to myself I did say
"Oh, shit! I think Fabio just dropped "LK"!

The track after that was an instant rewind
And I'm up in my apartment losing my mind
Moose got on the mic and started to shout
"Jungle Christmas!" and everyone brocked the fuck out

Everything was runnin! Andy just gotten on
Until the next thing you know a traffic warden came along
And pointing his finger this wanker did yell
"Clear the streets or all of ye are headed to jail!"

The warden got sacked, and the place stayed tearin'!
The next thing you know Santa shows up, red Prada he was wearin'
With hotties on each arm, he started to yell all baked and shit
"HAPPY CHRISTMAS TO ALL, AND TO ALL. Ahhh, fuck it!"
 
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