• Hi Guest: Welcome to TRIBE, the online home of TRIBE MAGAZINE. If you'd like to post here, or reply to existing posts on TRIBE, you first have to register. Join us!

A Fattyp Movie Review: Jason X

patri©k

TRIBE Member
yeah, I couldn't believe I found it on the net either ! :p


The movie starts by showing scenes from inside some lab or some type of medical institute. The setting is very dark. The camera then focuses on the star of the movie, Jason Vorhees. Jason is shown tied up on some type of stand in many chains and padlocks. He kinda looks like Hannibal Lector with a hockey mask. He's obviously under some type of observation.

Two doctors are then seen arguing about the tranferring of the subject (jason) into a new lab to further study his uncanny ability to regenerate damaged and lost tissue.

Rowen, the sexy star doctor, has no choice but to let her superiors make the transfer. When they go to take Vorhees, he's gone.

MURDER, DEATH, KILL !

the entire transfer unit gets smoked !

A long game of cat and mouse ensues until the sexy doctor is able to get Jason into a cyrogenic freezing capsule. She starts to freeze him. As she looks into the capsule, Jason's machette pierces the unit and stabs her up in her leg. The leak causes the both of them to freeze as they were.

year - 2455.

a team of scientists discover the lab and both the doctor and Jason are completely frozen. They decide to bring them on board for examination and re-animation. Upon the doctors thawing out, she explains how Jason must be contained or expelled from the ship but the main professor is too greedy and knows that Jason is worth money due to his past. As one of the grunts from the ship tries to move him, he tips the frozen Jason over and loses an arm when Jason's machette swings down...lol... that was funny. The ships K.W. (knowledge matrix) puts the arm back on and administers some kick ass drugs.

screwing, titties and ass (filler)

As one of the scientists is examining Jason, she decides to remove his mask. His face looks like moldy seaweed. As she puts his mask back on and continues working, Jason sits up and then....

MURDER, DEATH, KILL !

All of the entire grunt squad gets wiped out looking for him on the spaceship except for the leader, played by the dood who played 'Candyman'.
He gets mashed up but is able to survive.

One by one the crew disappears. Finally, one of the techy guys on board, upgrades the K.W. unit into some FIERCE KILLING MACHINE and she goes after Jason.

she kicks some ass. She ends up MAAAAASHING up Jason with some kinda elephant laser gun, shooting off one of his arms, then one of his legs, and then finally shooting off half his face. I mean, you'd THINK he'd be dead...... lol.

As the ships crew prepares to head home, there is a power surge around some of the equipment that's surrounding Jason. Magically, and OFF-CAMERA, he transforms into MEGA-JASON !

he has some dirty-ass metal body armour and a new mask that kinda makes him look like spawn.

jasonx_teaser.jpg


Needless to say, the new and improved Jason finishes off what crew was left except for 3 or 4 of 'em.

As they run around, trying to hide, trying to stabilize the ship, trying to contact help, Jason is stalking them.

The Knowledge Matrix, as a diversion, throws Jason into a simulation scene from back in the day at Crystal Lake. This buys them time, but not for long.

Jason busts up the K.W. and kills the rest except for Rowen and the techy guy... ONLY cuz 'candyman' came back and distracted Jason while they escaped.

Candyman is then seen on the back on Jason, flying like a human dart, into the earths atmosphere.

A couple is seen on a beach... you hear, "look, a shooting star".... "hey, it fell into the lake"... "let's go check it out"....

... then you see the metal mask sinking to the bottom of the lake....


part eleven... here we gooooooooo.


this review may suck... but shit... it's past 1am and I'm friggin tired.


fattyp©2002


unless you're a real diehard fan... wait until it's on video !
 
G

Guest

Guest
You just gave away the story........you ruined it. Thanx a lot and I was about to go see it too. Ass monkey!!
 

patri©k

TRIBE Member
silly mortal....

... i thought i made it clear in the header...

MOVIE REVIEW.


ass monkey.

lol.


go see clockstoppers WHILE THERE'S STILL TIME !

fattyp©2002
 

Cheap Ego

TRIBE Member
ha ha..

Reminds me of book reviews in grade school.

Never gave anything more than a quick summary of the storyline.
 
tribe cannabis accessories silver grinders
G

Guest

Guest
Movie review, not movie summary.......I guess I have to go watch crossroads instead.
 

patri©k

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by MartyMcFly
hey fatty p... I like yer style.
you can review a movie for doperadio anytime.

marty... you and I both know that if we were to get together.... we'd just smoke dope !

LOL.... i still laugh about the hotdog guy !

"Do you think you'll have enough buns" ... HA HA HAAAAA


MMcFly... we gotta link up soon.


fattyp©2002 ...my watch is stuck on 4:20
 
tribe cannabis accessories silver grinders

Cheeka

TRIBE Member
Originally posted by Galactic Phantom
Movie review, not movie summary.......I guess I have to go watch crossroads instead.

yes we sure do keith :D!! woohoo!
yay Britney... fuck Jason #1,000,000 or whatever number it is :p
 
Top