Ok...So I'm Gay, but I Also Like Ugly, Buck-tooth Chicks From My Past

[Rocky]

no, I'm not; and no I don't...

...but, I've had two strange dreams lately.

Last night, I had a dream that I was hanging out (not in the sexual sense) with MoFo and Jeffsus. When I showed up at Juffsus' place, he was sitting on a couch with his arm around a (female) hooker. I remember thinking bow-chicka-bow-bow.

*awaiting Adam's interpretation of this dream*

Also, two nights ago I had a sex dream. I remember using my fingers on a girl named Lisa Woods.

I went to school with Lisa Woods from grades 1 through 8. She had the biggest buck-teeth anyone had ever seen. People would sing "How much wood could Lisa Woods chuck, if..."

In the dream, she was an older version of what I remember. I was with her, and I was caught in the act by my mother. I remeber feeling so guilty...then when I woke up I felt so disgusted.

I have no idea where these thoughts came from. I haven't seen or even thought of this girl in 15 years.


What's going on?! Maybe I've gotta stop eating before I go to bed.

[Phat Buddha]

Originally posted by Rocky
I went to school with Lisa Woods from grades 1 through 8. She had the biggest buck-teeth anyone had ever seen. People would sing "How much wood could Lisa Woods chuck, if..."

she's probably hot now

[ian]

Lisa Woods is my girlfiend from high school. She moved to London, got braces and she is now extremely hot. When I first met her, she had those crazy buck teeth, but now she is smoking.

She dumped me for the captain of the football team.

-ian g.

[MoFo]

Originally posted by Rocky
no, I'm not; and no I don't...

...but, I've had two strange dreams lately.

Last night, I had a dream that I was hanging out (not in the sexual sense) with MoFo and Jeffsus.

I haven't even read the rest of the post yet because I can't stop laughing to keep reading....

[Rocky]

Originally posted by ian
Lisa Woods is my girlfiend from high school. She moved to London, got braces and she is now extremely hot. When I first met her, she had those crazy buck teeth, but now she is smoking.

She dumped me for the captain of the football team.

-ian g.

I actually remember being friends with her. I usually befriended the unpopular people, because I too was and am still strange and unusual.

...and braces would be the only way that she could ever become hot. Since I had that dream, I do wonder where she actually is now, and what she is doing.

[ian]

Originally posted by Rocky
I actually remember being friends with her. I usually befriended the unpopular people, because I too was and am still strange and unusual.

...and braces would be the only way that she could ever become hot. Since I had that dream, I do wonder where she actually is now, and what she is doing.

She lives in Toronto and is dating Tim Patrick. I can PM you her number?

-ian g.

[Booty Bits]

wtf mate?

[Lexicon]

haha

[Rocky]

Originally posted by ian
She lives in Toronto and is dating Tim Patrick. I can PM you her number?

-ian g.

I think that you're kidding, but maybe not.

[ian]

Originally posted by ian
She lives in Toronto and is dating Tim Patrick. I can PM you her number?

-ian g.

Tim says it's love. . . and although her dentist tells her teeth are slowly creeping back to their original beaver like state, and she will one day impale herself on her own tusks, he doesn't care. He is determined to marry this girl.

-ian g.

[The Tesseract]

I knew two girls in my first high school that were kinda like that.

1 had a banging body, but nasty teeth... she never wore makeup... but if she did, she probably would've looked good

the other was a complete nerd girl till grade 12. suddeenly she had this huge rack, and dressed classier. she wasn't terribly pretty... but she wasn't nerdy anymore either.
what's sad is she ditched all of her friends from the previous years.

[lok]

but I am le tired

zen take zee nap.. zen fire ze missiles?!?!

[The Tesseract]

Originally posted by lok
but I am le tired

zen take zee nap.. zen fire ze missiles?!?!

http://www.tribemagazine.com/board/s...41#post1214341


you win points for artistic style, this time Lok

[funkinbeats]

Lisa and Braces?

[SneakyPete]

^haha nice one

dental plan

[Adam]

Originally posted by Rocky
*awaiting Adam's interpretation of this dream*

I don't really have an interpretation, I just think it's funny that you can't even get laid in your dreams.

[Rocky]

oh...c'mon...I get laid. BIG TIME!















ok...no I don't.

[Adam]

I feel your pain.

I had a dream involving Justin Timberlake the other day that didn't end up with sexy results.

Now that hurts.

[Lysistrata]

This thread reeks of queerbait.

[Adam]

Damn, I wanted to use that word.

[kuba]

I dated a girl with funky teeth. People called her funk tooth tina.

[vveerrgg]

what is this?

a will and grace episode?

[Jeffsus]

Originally posted by Rocky
Last night, I had a dream that I was hanging out (not in the sexual sense) with MoFo and Jeffsus. When I showed up at Juffsus' place, he was sitting on a couch with his arm around a (female) hooker. I remember thinking bow-chicka-bow-bow.

Rocky, you realize we must have some kind of spiritual connection?

Because (other than your obvious homoerotic tendencies) I actually was hanging out with a (fairly smoking) prostitute at "The Grand Saloon" on Wednesday night. Now, I didn't go home with her, but I definitely was drunk.

The sad part of your story is that you didn't mention the dream-of-dreams Brazilian waiter Justin, who was, in part at least, responsible for our overindulgence of cheap pitchers that night. Of course, originally, we intended only to have two or three pitchers, but, at my continued suggestion, if only to once again speak briefly to the Brazilian Justin waiter, Ross and I continued to order more and more beers. Not good for Ross, who doesn't care about Justins and had to mark a bunch of pre-calc NYU student papers the next morning.

And I guess you didn't dream about the part when later, after his shift, the Brazilian Justin got himself drunk, then came over to me to discuss his potential as a stripper... Which of course flattered me to no end. Talking about Justins getting naked is always a plus with me.

It seems the prostitute that I was earlier getting friendly with, took it upon herself to tell the Brazilian Justin (lets call him BJ) how impressed I was with his visage and form. Sheepishly he engaged me in conversation shortly thereafter: exactly how, I can't remember, since by now Ross and I had each drank about 4 pitchers.

So of course I moved from the booth up to the bar where BJ was drinking with his work buddies -- Incidentally, the bar-owner happened to be a guy from Salmon Arm BC -- and in time BJ was regalling me with all forms of glorious drunk talk.

I especially like how South Americans and Eastern Europeans get drunk. They of course always inevitably start going on about honour and respect and offer various obligatory gesticular reaffirmations of that culture... Which, by merely obliging, I score myself a poignant win in their books. So it was merely an hour before BJ somehow thought me his greatest confidant, and projected onto me some supernatural duct to his inner soul and most deeply guarded aspirations.

Of course I was therefore terribly surprised when he, abruptly and with great urgency, implored me to the washroom. For the life of me I couldn't understand what could be so pressing there, but when BJ brings you to the washroom, you don't say no.

No sooner did I open the door than BJ whips out a dusted key and implores me to smell the roses. Sweet Mary mother of BJ! So shines a good deed in a dreary world!* Thereafter of course I had all but forgotten about the prostitute, and promptly ordered a few extra (an unnecessary) rounds of pitchers. Ross at this point left me -- abandonned me in downtown NYC sans address, directions, whereabouts, or any sobriety of any kind.... nice guy, that asshole.

But did I care? Certainly not! For now there was no option but to go home with BJ, and by golly did he not invite me there just after!

So come 4am we hailed a cab with intent to get the hell out of Manhatten and out into the dregs of Jersey, where, presumably, BJ would be looking for more key-dusting. Unexpectedly though, our cab already has an occupant, who BJ and I overlooked, understanding the hassle involved with finding another cab and such.

The problem began when this mystery man began puking all over the cab.. Which of course I didn't mind, though I did use it as an excuse to brush up more closely with BJ. However, when the cabbie took notice of the smell, he became irate and began demanding excessive cleaning fees. Since neither BJ nor I knew this mystery puking boy, neither of us felt entitled to pay for his misfortune. I tried to work out with the cabbie a fair alternative, but BJ, being from Jersey, of course was a bit less diplomatic about the situation. While spewing at the cabbie a bunch of (presumedly) racist brazilian curses, BJ turned to me and implored me to jump from the cab. Considering the cab was moving at just under 40 miles per hour, there was no way I was going to jump.... However, my friend BJ wasn't quite so blessed with good judgement. Never underestimate the immortality of a 22 year old Brazilian Justin, high on vanity, key-dust, and Pabst Blue Ribbon. ANd so he opened the door and hurled his beautiful body onto the moving pavement -- In total disbelief, I swung my head around, and watched in amazement as his body tumbled lengwise, round and round and round again, on the hard pavement of 34th street. And in an even less fortunate turn of fate, the first car to swerve around his rolling Justinness was none other than an NYPD cruiser.

Puking boy didn't seem to share any of my concern about the impending bad situation.... He just carried on, head in knees, those last burning ribbons of vomit clinging gingerly to his lips... Not a care in the world, that lucky bastard...

I didn't ever see what happened to BJ... Nor did I ever figure out what happened to puking boy or the fine Hindu gentleman who handed me over to the cops... But as I was thrown into the backseat of that cruiser, I did sloppishly convince myself, that there's not a chance in hell Rocky would be dreaming this right now.

-jM
A&D

*W. Wonka

[why not]

good story.
can't decide it this or p@trick's was better.

[Rocky]

Originally posted by Jeffsus
Rocky, you realize we must have some kind of spiritual connection?

Because (other than your obvious homoerotic tendencies) I actually was hanging out with a (fairly smoking) prostitute at "The Grand Saloon" on Wednesday night. Now, I didn't go home with her, but I definitely was drunk.

The sad part of your story is that you didn't mention the dream-of-dreams Brazilian waiter Justin...

No homoerotic tendencies here. I think it should be obvious that I like positive feedback (as I'm sure everyone does), and I don't care where it comes from.

Woah, my real name is Justin! The hooker, Justin; maybe we do have some sort of connection!



Wait...no we don't. Stop it. I will not let you use The Force against me. Your power of suggestion is not strong enough for me.

*titties...think titties...tittiestittiestitties*