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Old 03-01-2002, 12:31 PM   #1
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no daddies!

Being in this day and age where woman are now claiming there right to raise children by themselves and men have become nothing more than sperm donors or needed for child support payments only, I’m curious to know is any of you have been raised without a father and what kind of impact it’s had on your lives.

Some believe that it doesn’t have an impact if the child doesn’t no any different, some believe it does impact the child.

What do you think.
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Old 03-01-2002, 12:50 PM   #2
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That's absurd, what can a woman teach a boy about being a man?
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Old 03-01-2002, 12:52 PM   #3
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This thread goes out to all my baby's mamas
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Old 03-01-2002, 12:53 PM   #4
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just because there is no father on the scene doesn't mean there are no uncles, grandfathers, cousins, male friends etc.
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Old 03-01-2002, 12:55 PM   #5
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Please, the void of a father son relationship cannot be filled by extended family.
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Old 03-01-2002, 12:57 PM   #6
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This is going to turn into a male vs female thread......

Thnx deep!
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Old 03-01-2002, 12:58 PM   #7
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Of course I'm speaking in terms of simply removing of a father by choice. I'm not saying those who grow up in a single parent home are lacking in any sence, I'm simply talking about the total removal of a father figure accross many families.

I think I misread the innitial question posed.

anyways...
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Old 03-01-2002, 01:03 PM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by janiecakes
just because there is no father on the scene doesn't mean there are no uncles, grandfathers, cousins, male friends etc.
NICE, finally someone is recognizing the need for Uncles!

UB.
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Old 03-01-2002, 01:09 PM   #9
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I would just like to point out that many cultures raise the children ONLY by women, and they seem to grow up with a totally clear sense of "what it means to be a man".

I think the argument that a woman can't teach a boy what it means to be a man is totally GARBAGE.

Women have always been the ones raising the kids in the family, and only in the past few decades have fathers started to become more involved, which is great.

adios
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Old 03-01-2002, 01:27 PM   #10
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my dad taught me how to skate and play baseball, that's about it...see how i turned out? uhh i don't know if this helps or hinders this argument
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Old 03-01-2002, 01:31 PM   #11
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ok, so we don't need men to raise children, but men have to pay ridiculous amounts of money for child support....all so the man can see the kid during their court ordered visitation rights....

because we all know and all support the cultural myth that women are best at raising children...the state of the world today is truly indicative of that.

BTW the question was not “do we need men to teach boys how to be men” that’s ridiculous, being a man is nothing more that cultural conditioning. I was wondering if those whom had no father felt something missing in their lives?

I think men are just as capable of raising children, just as capable of being nurturing of being a caretaker. Yet our rights to do this is completely ignored today…
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Old 03-01-2002, 01:37 PM   #12
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Quote:
Originally posted by ch2o
ok, so we don't need men to raise children, but men have to pay ridiculous amounts of money for child support....all so the man can see the kid during their court ordered visitation rights....
ridiculous amounts of money?

i wonder how often it is that non custodial parents are ordered to pay much more than they would be paying for their kids' food, shelter and whatever else than they would be paying if they actually lived with the kids. also, lots of families with divorced parents work out visitation and support outside of the courts.

in my case, my father was ordered to pay $100 a month for two children. yeah, it's ridiculous, but not in the way you mean.
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Old 03-01-2002, 01:42 PM   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by janiecakes
just because there is no father on the scene doesn't mean there are no uncles, grandfathers, cousins, male friends etc.
Uncles Grandfathers cousins & male friends are not a stable source of dicipline & guidance.

The point to parent a child with a stable couple rather than a single parent is to bestow values upon that child. Values that are formed by the mutual agreement of the couple. To rely on the swaying values of third party temporary surrogates to be instilled upon that child would be negligent in my opinion.
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Old 03-01-2002, 01:46 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by janiecakes


ridiculous amounts of money?

i wonder how often it is that non custodial parents are ordered to pay much more than they would be paying for their kids' food, shelter and whatever else than they would be paying if they actually lived with the kids. also, lots of families with divorced parents work out visitation and support outside of the courts.

in my case, my father was ordered to pay $100 a month for two children. yeah, it's ridiculous, but not in the way you mean.
that is bad, i agree...but i know of other cases where it not like that, where the payment was like 60% of the man earining. i guess each case is different, i assumed the worst as seen only that side of the story.

alos though, if situations where reveresed and the man had full custody, would the woman have to pay child support?

my mom didn't have to pay my dad anything, and my cousin who raising his boy because the mother left them, she doesn't have to pay anything.

one way or the other, their many double standards in regards to this...i guess it's to much to expect to live in a fair society.
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Old 03-01-2002, 01:46 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by ch2o
ok, so we don't need men to raise children, but men have to pay ridiculous amounts of money for child support....all so the man can see the kid during their court ordered visitation rights....

because we all know and all support the cultural myth that women are best at raising children...the state of the world today is truly indicative of that.

BTW the question was not “do we need men to teach boys how to be men” that’s ridiculous, being a man is nothing more that cultural conditioning. I was wondering if those whom had no father felt something missing in their lives?

I think men are just as capable of raising children, just as capable of being nurturing of being a caretaker. Yet our rights to do this is completely ignored today…
LOL

You're trying to be funny right.

"ridiculous amounts of money for child support"

Haha. My old man made plenty of cash, was easy to find, but hardly ever came up with the 300 skins a month he was supposed to.

300 skins. LOL. LOADS!!!

There's an entire branch of government administration devoted to getting cash outta dead beat dads. Men as a group aren't given credit for being nurturing caretakers because they have a lousy track record.

About being raised without an old man. I don't think I missed much. I think all a kid really needs in life is a strong role model. Someone who teaches through actions rather then words. My Mom did that up nicely.
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Old 03-01-2002, 01:50 PM   #16
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not having a father made me appreciate my mother more than ever

my father died from lou gherig's disease when i was 10. for eight years before that he was in the hospital. to this day i do not know what my father's voice sounds like.

being raised by my mother has definitely made me more aware of my feminine side. i have an unbelievable amount of respect for my mother as she raised three kids on her own, never once entertaining the idea of finding another mate. my mother had to play both father and mother in our family.

i looked up to my older brother as the dominant male in my life, always trying to be like him. i was also fortunate to have a big brother from the big brother's association. it was great to have a male role model around that wasn't my brother. but as fate would have it my big brother was taken away from me as well. our 10 year relationship ended when he passed away from a heart attack. i had to accept at an early age that the people that i love won't always be around.

growing up without a father has definitely impacted my life. i used to always wish i had a dad so i could do the things my friends were doing with their dads, like sports or whatever. i lived through my friends because even though i had a big brother (both kinds) the connection i saw other people had with their fathers was lacking in my life.

being a father is going to be a tough one for me because i don't really have much of a reference in my life, but i look forward to the experience.

my mother used to always say 'be glad your father isn't here, because if he was to discipiline you you wouldn't know what hit you.' discipline from my mom was enough for me, so i'm glad that my father never had the opportunity to knock some sense into me. i want my children will know what it's like to have two parents who love them and who love each other.

anyone with a penis can make a baby, but it takes a man to be a father to his child.

- that momma's boy guy
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Old 03-01-2002, 01:50 PM   #17
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My one brother in law passed away very young with even younger children. I'd say the depression it caused and the change in stability levels were devistating on the children. Not that they aren't well manored its just that without having regular backup from another parent my sister is pushed well beyond her means.

In the case of one of my other sisters she divorced her husband when my nephew was 2. He's got a couple of strange quircks and by the age of 6 he's already trying to play parent one on parent two. Having a second parent even if hes not home has allowed my sister to have a weekend off every now and then. Its allowed her to have a night a week where she's able to relax and take care of things in the house.

I wouldn't dare question the abilities of women in general to raise male children, it just silly and without basis to suggest otherwise. But I do question the ability of a single parent to be able to take the time they need to relax.



Personally I'd like to smack the fuckers that run away. They gave all men a bad name since the begining of time. If you've got a child and your not supporting them, as a guy I rate you amongst the worst failures imaginable.





But who's to say what is right and what is wrong.
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Old 03-01-2002, 01:54 PM   #18
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I believe having no father (and no financial assistance) is better than having a bad father. There are far too many people out there with serious issues due to bad parenting.

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Old 03-01-2002, 01:56 PM   #19
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My parents divorced when I was 5 and got back together when I was 11. 6 years of mom, her rotating boyfriends and my sister, see dad on 2nd weekends.

But my family's great now. Those 6 years were just a little out-there.
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Old 03-01-2002, 01:56 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ditto Much
I wouldn't dare question the abilities of women in general to raise male children, it just silly and without basis to suggest otherwise. But I do question the ability of a single parent to be able to take the time they need to relax.

Personally I'd like to smack the fuckers that run away. They gave all men a bad name since the begining of time. If you've got a child and your not supporting them, as a guy I rate you amongst the worst failures imaginable.
i agree.
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Old 03-01-2002, 02:00 PM   #21
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big brothers association bowlathon

BOWL FOR KIDS' SAKE 2002
February 9th to March 9th

Toronto bowls from February 9th to March 9th, communities all over Toronto will be joining forces in bowling houses across the city to raise money for kids in your community. Bowl for Kids' Sake is entering its 30th year. Since 1972, this campaign has raised in excess of $1 million. Last year alone, we raised almost $300,000.

Aside from being a great fundraiser, it's a lot of fun. From music and lights to glow in the dark bowling, chances at great prizes.

So – come on out and join the fun. Remember, it doesn't matter how well – or badly you bowl, it's all about raising money, having fun, and supporting Big Brothers of Toronto & Big Sisters of Toronto.

===========================================

because my father was in the hospital for my entire childhood, i was paired together with a big brother while my father was still alive. i've recently wondered what my father must have felt when i would come visit him in the hospital with my big brother.

it must have been so painful for him to see me with my father replacement and not be able to say anything about it.

i am forever grateful for having a big brother in my life.

- that little brother guy
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Old 03-01-2002, 02:00 PM   #22
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Norm your post is really touching. Thank you. *S*

adios
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Old 03-01-2002, 02:03 PM   #23
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Norm, nice post.
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