FST: Objectum Sexuals - a New Sexual Orientation

praktik · 08-21-2009, 11:38 AM

The sky was grey and the winds blustery the day Erika LaBrie met her soulmate.

It was freezing in Paris, that day in January, 2004, when she and a friend set eyes upon the Eiffel Tower. When they entered, a special feeling came over her; one she can only describe as intense love, a chemical attraction. That feeling of finding The One.

“Everyone was all bundled up and I felt so warm inside,” she says, recalling the moment with fondness. “I thought, ‘I don't feel cold, I feel so much warmth coming from the Eiffel tower.'”

For three years, the professional archer from San Francisco would visit the object of her affection, going for weeks at a time, spending all day touching the tower. And then on April 8, 2007, Erika LaBrie became Erika Eiffel in a commitment ceremony before 10 of her closest friends.

acheron · 08-21-2009, 11:41 AM

there was that woman who married a roller coaster a few weeks back..

http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/di...rollercoaster/

Rajio · 08-21-2009, 11:42 AM

d.code · 08-21-2009, 11:42 AM

you mean I can marry this ice cream sandwich?

Flashy_McFlash · 08-21-2009, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by d.code

you mean I can marry this ice cream sandwich?

Could you then be charged with assault if you eat it? The area, so grey.

ila · 08-21-2009, 11:45 AM

Yeah. I like how the Eiffel tower gets absolutely no say on whether or not it wants to marry this hag.

Flashy_McFlash · 08-21-2009, 11:47 AM

"Sacre bleu, I am already le engaged to ze Statue of ze Libertee!"

praktik · 08-21-2009, 11:49 AM

though I will say, the first time I touched a micro-suede couch I popped a three-quarter chub

WestsideWax · 08-21-2009, 12:06 PM

Sheri/Terri: Look at Missus Potato Head! She has a head made out of lettuce. [Giggles.]
Ralph: I can't believe I used to go out with you.
Janie: Are you going to marry a carrot, Lisa?
Lisa: [Rolling her eyes.] Yes, I'm going to marry a carrot.
Sherri/Terri: Ohh! She admitted it. She's going to marry a carrot!

Colm · 08-21-2009, 12:46 PM

Erika sounds like a fatal bitch. A day of touching? Give Eiffel some fucking personal space!

I feel sorry for you, brah.

d.code · 08-21-2009, 12:50 PM

Im trying to imagine what it would be like to be turned on by a building. Maybe its the fact that its french is helping this scary lady. "its just so romantic".

Like does the site of steel and rivits make her inner thighs twitch with delight??? whats the deal here? for serious.

d.code · 08-21-2009, 12:52 PM

also does this mean no one else can marry the Eiffel tower?

Colm · 08-21-2009, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by d.code

also does this mean no one else can marry the Eiffel tower?

But wait... isn't Tour Eiffel feminine?

ila · 08-21-2009, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Colm

Erika sounds like a fatal bitch. A day of touching? Give Eiffel some fucking personal space!

I feel sorry for you, brah.

Thank you!

And I'm pretty sure the Eiffel is a dude. All signs point to dude.

zoo · 08-21-2009, 01:22 PM

Does objectum sexuals apply to taxidermized creatures? Or is that still considered zoophilia? Or is it considered necrophilia?

Such a gray-area!

kaniz · 08-21-2009, 01:24 PM

If I marry the Eiffel Tower, does that make it a polygamist?

Lysistrata · 08-21-2009, 01:32 PM

and i thought i was a size queen.

erika · 08-21-2009, 01:36 PM

I opened this thread after having skimmed the article in the Globe (marry a monument? yeah, right) and saw this

Quote:

Erika sounds like a fatal bitch

and wondered wtf????

Then realized that idiot and I share the same name...

As for gender, it is "La Tour" though it is kinda tall and pointy

diablo · 08-21-2009, 01:39 PM

No shortage of emotional fuck-ups in this world.

Lysistrata · 08-21-2009, 01:41 PM

wasn't thre something int he roller coaster girl article about how the vibration of riding it gets her off? how the hell does one have sex with the eiffel tower?

vinder · 08-21-2009, 01:51 PM

this sounds like the episode of nip/tuck where the dude fucks the couch

MoFo · 08-21-2009, 02:55 PM

They talked about this on Howard Stern a few months ago. And I've been following certain cases.

Hey, to each its own. If it's inanimate, they should go for it. Who gives a shit.

Colm · 08-21-2009, 03:03 PM

So is this the right time and place to announce my engagement to Tribe?

Syntax Error · 08-21-2009, 03:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MoFo

Hey, to each its own. If it's inanimate, they should go for it. Who gives a shit.

this is why i argued against gay marriage. just opens the floodgates for everything else.

The Peej · 08-23-2009, 12:18 PM

Pee Wee married a fruit salad on an episode of Playhouse...

How remarkably fitting in retrospect...

08-21-2009, 11:38 AM	#1
praktik Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Up ur nose and around the corner! Posts: 7,619	FST: Objectum Sexuals - a New Sexual Orientation geez louise The sky was grey and the winds blustery the day Erika LaBrie met her soulmate. It was freezing in Paris, that day in January, 2004, when she and a friend set eyes upon the Eiffel Tower. When they entered, a special feeling came over her; one she can only describe as intense love, a chemical attraction. That feeling of finding The One. “Everyone was all bundled up and I felt so warm inside,” she says, recalling the moment with fondness. “I thought, ‘I don't feel cold, I feel so much warmth coming from the Eiffel tower.'” For three years, the professional archer from San Francisco would visit the object of her affection, going for weeks at a time, spending all day touching the tower. And then on April 8, 2007, Erika LaBrie became Erika Eiffel in a commitment ceremony before 10 of her closest friends.

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08-21-2009, 11:41 AM	#2
acheron Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: Aisle 7 Posts: 18,116	there was that woman who married a roller coaster a few weeks back.. http://blogs.discovermagazine.com/di...rollercoaster/

08-21-2009, 11:42 AM	#3
Rajio Member Join Date: Feb 2006 Location: From inside the house! Posts: 13,080

08-21-2009, 11:42 AM	#4
d.code Member Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: pixel pig. Posts: 11,070	you mean I can marry this ice cream sandwich?

08-21-2009, 11:45 AM	#6
ila Member Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 9,535	Yeah. I like how the Eiffel tower gets absolutely no say on whether or not it wants to marry this hag.

08-21-2009, 11:47 AM	#7
Flashy_McFlash Member Join Date: May 2004 Posts: 51,857	"Sacre bleu, I am already le engaged to ze Statue of ze Libertee!"

08-21-2009, 11:49 AM	#8
praktik Member Join Date: Aug 2005 Location: Up ur nose and around the corner! Posts: 7,619	though I will say, the first time I touched a micro-suede couch I popped a three-quarter chub

08-21-2009, 12:06 PM	#9
WestsideWax Member Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: pinin' for the fjords Posts: 1,362	Sheri/Terri: Look at Missus Potato Head! She has a head made out of lettuce. [Giggles.] Ralph: I can't believe I used to go out with you. Janie: Are you going to marry a carrot, Lisa? Lisa: [Rolling her eyes.] Yes, I'm going to marry a carrot. Sherri/Terri: Ohh! She admitted it. She's going to marry a carrot!

08-21-2009, 12:46 PM	#10
Colm Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Victorizla Posts: 4,995	Erika sounds like a fatal bitch. A day of touching? Give Eiffel some fucking personal space! I feel sorry for you, brah.

08-21-2009, 12:50 PM	#11
d.code Member Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: pixel pig. Posts: 11,070	Im trying to imagine what it would be like to be turned on by a building. Maybe its the fact that its french is helping this scary lady. "its just so romantic". Like does the site of steel and rivits make her inner thighs twitch with delight??? whats the deal here? for serious.

08-21-2009, 12:52 PM	#12
d.code Member Join Date: Apr 2000 Location: pixel pig. Posts: 11,070	also does this mean no one else can marry the Eiffel tower?

08-21-2009, 01:22 PM	#15
zoo Member Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: putting swords in scabbards Posts: 33,231	Does objectum sexuals apply to taxidermized creatures? Or is that still considered zoophilia? Or is it considered necrophilia? Such a gray-area!

08-21-2009, 01:24 PM	#16
kaniz Member Join Date: Jul 2004 Location: ~/ Posts: 9,877	If I marry the Eiffel Tower, does that make it a polygamist?

08-21-2009, 01:32 PM	#17
Lysistrata Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 28,243	and i thought i was a size queen.

08-21-2009, 01:39 PM	#19
diablo Member Join Date: Oct 2000 Location: Rolling out some of that boganza shit Posts: 10,123	No shortage of emotional fuck-ups in this world.

08-21-2009, 01:41 PM	#20
Lysistrata Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Posts: 28,243	wasn't thre something int he roller coaster girl article about how the vibration of riding it gets her off? how the hell does one have sex with the eiffel tower?

08-21-2009, 01:51 PM	#21
vinder Member Join Date: Mar 2001 Location: edit: Posts: 21,494	this sounds like the episode of nip/tuck where the dude fucks the couch

08-21-2009, 02:55 PM	#22
MoFo Member Join Date: Jun 2000 Location: Hugging Danny Tanner! Posts: 63,773	They talked about this on Howard Stern a few months ago. And I've been following certain cases. Hey, to each its own. If it's inanimate, they should go for it. Who gives a shit.

08-21-2009, 03:03 PM	#23
Colm Member Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Victorizla Posts: 4,995	So is this the right time and place to announce my engagement to Tribe?

08-23-2009, 12:18 PM	#25
The Peej Member Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Psychoville, and Finkel's the Mayor!!! Posts: 3,441	Pee Wee married a fruit salad on an episode of Playhouse... How remarkably fitting in retrospect...