Three way relationships

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by d.code, Jan 17, 2002.

  1. SUNKIST

    SUNKIST TRIBE Member

    i like this pete [​IMG]

    anyways..this has bad news written all over it. this has gone beyond having a fun night together, no strings attached..thats fun..but a threeway relationship? just reading through your posts you sound like its gonna be too much for you to handle, as i think it would be for most people. The girls are insecure, favourites shouldnt be involved in any relationship. its only going to end in heartbreak, and a possible loss of friendship. is this 3-way relationship worth more than someones feelings? i doubt that it is.
     
  2. janiecakes

    janiecakes TRIBE Member

    so i've been doing a bit of reading about this today, and apparently three-way relationships (called 'triads') are becoming more common these days.

    there's a book out called 'Three in Love : Ménages à Trois from Ancient to Modern Times' that was written by 3 people involved in a long term committed triad. looks cheesy but interesting.

    a bunch of the sites i looked at also recommended 'the ethical slut' which is also cheesy (very granola lesbian-ish) but pretty good.

    i would personally think long and hard before getting into something like this. you'd be flying by the seat of your pants, and the potential for drama is high, especially given the insecurities of the girls ('who do you like better?') and the offering of sex so that you'll stay, which is pretty bizarre in my opinion.

    that being said, there are more and more successful triads out there.
     
  3. KiX

    KiX TRIBE Member

    Hardly! Sex, at least for me, most certainly is not fleeting. Even if it's with a person who is fleeting, the experience itself of sex is really really special and I treasure every experience i've had. Being involved with someone on that level is a phenomenally fantastic thing. Even if it was just one of those spontaneous "meaningless" fucks... there's a certain degree of connectedness that always sticks with me, and I've always evolved and grown from every experience.... something that will be with me forever.

    And I'd most certainly think that sex in this sort of situation would be something that you'd remember and cherish for a long time...

    =tina=
     
  4. dj_jake_the_snake

    dj_jake_the_snake TRIBE Member

    I'll find out today (the name of the book)
     
  5. Nesta

    Nesta TRIBE Member

    I could never share my girl (if I had one) with somebody else. It would eat me alive. Of course, that's just me.
     
  6. d.code

    d.code TRIBE Member

    The key to making this work is obviously comumication. And lots of it. It has to be over done. The constent comunication is what is trieing me out. I alrady rarely sleep- and this has just added an extra major mental energy drain for each day. Mind you I like to challange my mind- is it wrong to challange it like this?

    Established categories are often mistooken for security on issues. If you meet the following requirements then you are in. I have done away with all categories (other then Human) because the inhibit the procsess of listening too much. Id rather learn why someone ticks- then to find out there likes / dislikes what the do with there spare time- then stamp them and move them into category "love".

    Cheers
    Tyler
     
  7. vox

    vox TRIBE Member

    it can be done. communication is key...and expect lots of arguing and some drama...but at the end of the day, life is always a matter of choices and negotiation...it can work out...as long as there's mutual respect all around.

    i don't know if you can give the whole "don't love one more than the other" rule...you can't really quantify love and you can't really realistically expect to uphold that, even if you wanted to.

    shit happens...
     
  8. vox

    vox TRIBE Member

    the thing the ethical slut did for me, was i read it at an impressionable age...so it gave me a window into the fact that people actually do this and it works...that it's not automatically doomed to failure.

    and it also helped me crystallize the idea that jealousy is something you do to yourself. which is something that's fine in words, and often doesn't translate into practice...but in my saner moments, it's good to remember.
     
  9. vox

    vox TRIBE Member

    oooh...the ethical slut also helped me challenge the idea that we have finites amounts of love. that if you are in love with two or more people, that this finite amount is diffused, and that you don't really love them to the fullest extent of your capabilities.

    i've realized that that's not true at all...

    *sounding more and more like a hippie*
     

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