Three way relationships

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by d.code, Jan 17, 2002.

  1. d.code

    d.code TRIBE Member

    Thats another problem... my ego. I know I can keep it in check (I always have through all the shit Ive been through) but this is NO good at all! Its great having it large.. but this whole situation dosnt help. They are offering me sex to stay. Just sex. There is the other person to who is squeeking onto the field.
    Am I really that loveable? Doubtfull!

    Yes they do have to deal with it- but I am the final man- the cut comes to me. Whare does it go? I dont want to put a cut in because I care about both. Yet I equality of it will not last.

  2. Of course we love it when things go our way better than we ever expect it; it's a wonderful little ego stroke.

    Tyler, the thing you might want to weigh in this situation is the consequences in the long run vs. the consequences in the short. If your ego might mess things up somehow, be very conscious of it, and make sure you watch what you say and do. If you thing it might fuck things up badly between the three of you and you really value them as people, then I would say don't do it. I'm all for experiementing, but be careful to minimize the hurt and cut things off the minute things even hint at getting ugly.

    From the Ministry of an ounce of prevention.

    Prime Minister Highsteppa
  3. d.code

    d.code TRIBE Member

    Thank you James I am truely taking this to heart.

  4. One last thing:

    The cohesiveness of all three personalities is key if you should decide to go ahead with this. The slightest bit of friction between personality gets amplified in any kind of a relationship. We at first gloss over the negative aspects of the other, as we generally wish to see the best in the other person. However, often (I view it as being partly because of society's expectations, partly because I believe that we have the ability and possibly drive to be a monogomous species), an extra member of the same sex is viewed as competition. It's natural, I think. Be very careful that any feelings of jealousy are squashed as soon as they start to rise (meaning either talk it out -which is tricky- or cut it off). It's natural for people to like one person more than another, for different reasons, and it might eventually lead to alienating one of the three in the long run, as two of you will relate better than the other. This is why I urge caution, as it's generally a shitty feeling to become the outsider in an intimate relationship (think about dealing with an ex's friend and how awkward that is, now multiply it by about ten and you're in the ballpark).

    From the Ministry of off to bed, but if you like tyler, you can drop me a line on ICQ tomorrow if you want to discuss this further.

    Prime Minister Highsteppa
  5. KiX

    KiX TRIBE Member

    Ah but how dull life would be if we didn't take chances? Is the possiblilty to have a once-in-a-lifetime chance work out not worth the risk of getting hurt or messing up the status quo of a friendship (or two)? Is it too much risk to maximize the hurt for the chance to partake in a very very very rare opportunity for the chance to learn even more about yourself and about love and lust and your own nature and all kinds of things...

    This isn't a normal opportunity... just keep that in mind. And you'll be incredibly lucky if you ever get it again. You're one of the rare few who would even been given such a chance one time... let alone twice.

  6. How do you know these friends aren't extraordinary themselves, and might be able to offer something more than a fleeting orgasm? Is it really worth risking putting other people through possible emotional anguish, just so we can experience something for our own pleasure?

    You make it sound like he's been selected to interview Christ or something. Sex is fleeting, and quickly forgotten. Friendships are something that you'll remember for a lifetime.

    From the Ministry of you da devil

    Prime Minister Highsteppa
  7. d.code

    d.code TRIBE Member

    1 time already actually. But I was younger and nieve (sp).

  8. BTW, Tina, I realize now that I'm coming off as a bit holier than thou. Not the intention, I was raised by an Anglican Minister and some of his morals rub off on me.


    From teh Ministry of I'm off to bed seriously, for real. Good night

    Prime Minister Highsteppa
  9. SneakyPete

    SneakyPete TRIBE Member

    I am not following here. They are offering sex for the three of you to stay together, or are they each offering sex so you will choose one over the other?

  10. Temper Tantrum

    Temper Tantrum TRIBE Member

    The way tyler phrased it they seem more then willing to if not trying hard to encourage HIM to do it so I don't think he'd be putting other people through unecessary pain...

    Tyler, nike said it best: Just do it

    Follow your gut

  11. d.code

    d.code TRIBE Member

    To stay. You hit the nail in all the way the first time.

  12. acheron

    acheron TRIBE Member

    The ménage!!!!!!
  13. acheron

    acheron TRIBE Member

  14. Booty Bits

    Booty Bits TRIBE Member

    i can only speak from personal experience, but i know that the idea has crossed my mind before.

    many moons ago (like, uh, 3 years or something) i was in a 'situation' where i was friends with a guy and a girl. lets call them homer and marge.
    marge made it clear to me that she was attracted to me and wanted to get down. i was alright with that.
    i introduced homer and marge one night, and they got down.
    another night, while on copious amount of illicit substances, homer asked me if i ever thought of hooking up with him.
    that same night, marge was all "mmm you're hot. lets fuck."
    so i was thoroughly confused. i knew that homer liked marge, and that homer also thought of hooking up with me.
    i knew that marge liked homer, but also wanted to hook up with me.

    so, at a later date when i spilled everything i knew to homer, he and i had one of those revelations... a 3-way, open concept relationship! (open concept like a kitchen, ya know.)
    the deal was, we all cared for each other, we all loved hanging out together and we all had each other's best interests in mind.

    now, granted, we found the idea more amusing than feasible, but as the jokes rolled, the idea became more and more real (well, to homer and i... i think marge thought we were goofs).

    example of jokes: a traditional couch would be called a love seat...yukyukyuk.
    kitchen table would be a triangle... and so on.

    anyway, i think it could work under certain circumstances.

    1. the relationship could not be this absolutely huge part of your life

    2. NO ONE LIKES EACH OTHER MORE THAN THE OTHER. d.code, you say that is not the case for you, so DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT! you are inviting disaster of monumental proportions. a 2 person relationship with uneven feelings is always a massive mess, and it would only get worse with another person in the mix.

    3. none of you can be possessive or jealous, it would simply be torturous for you.

    so thats my advice -- don't do it unless its under the right circumstances. but in the future, don't be afraid to break social conventions and redefine rules in order to do what feels right.
  15. janiecakes

    janiecakes TRIBE Member

    i think jean paul sartre and simone de beauvoir did this for a while.. i'll go try and find something about it.
  16. pr0nstar

    pr0nstar TRIBE Member

    I'm having problem finding a normal relationship and people are wondering about 3 way...

    Where am I going wrong her folks? [​IMG]

  17. stir-fry

    stir-fry TRIBE Member

    you could start with a spell checker.
    girls like that
  18. pr0nstar

    pr0nstar TRIBE Member

    Thanks stud-muffin!

  19. Subsonic Chronic

    Subsonic Chronic TRIBE Member

    That's just good advice for every relationship. Too many people try to fit their relationships into established categories instead of doing what feels right and doing what they want.

    If you like them both, go for it. But don't even get into the "who do you like more" debate with either of them because that will just cause jealousy and bad vibes.

  20. janiecakes

    janiecakes TRIBE Member

    well, i couldn't really find much.

    but simone de beauvoir wrote a book called "l'invitée" (the english version is called 'she came to stay' in english), about a 3 way relationship (an unsuccessful one, unfortunately) that some people think is based on stuff that happened with sartre.
  21. R4V4G3D_SKU11S

    R4V4G3D_SKU11S TRIBE Member

    You have a favourite and she's also already sounding insecure. I have no problems with a three way relationship thing, but it seems like this could be headed for disaster.
  22. matty

    matty TRIBE Member


    Jack says all signs point to funny misunderstandings and hilarious hi-jinks.
  23. miguel

    miguel TRIBE Member

    janie i thought sartre and de beauvoir's relationship was more of a platonic nature? i think they both took on lovers.
  24. janiecakes

    janiecakes TRIBE Member

    nah, they were panking for years.

    they had an 'open' relationship, and did take other lovers.

    sartre even proposed to her, and she said no because she didn't want their relationship institutionalized, but they were romantically involved nonetheless.
  25. Cheer Bear

    Cheer Bear TRIBE Member

    It's no secret we're close
    As sweaty velcro
    Like latex, fur and feathers
    Stuck together

    In their '62 'vette
    Sharing one cigarette
    In a black light trance then
    Go go dance
    Go go dance

    They keep me warm on cold nights
    We must be quite a sight
    In our meat triangle
    All tangled

    My girldfriend's girlfriend
    She looks like you
    My girlfriend's girlfriend
    She's my girl too

    Her and me and her and she and me
    An uncrowded couple; are we three
    Hey we don't care what people say
    When walking hand in hand down kings highway
    Two for one today

    My girlfriend's girlfriend
    She looks like you
    My girlfriend's girlfriend
    She's my girl

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