1. Hi Guest: Welcome to TRIBE, Toronto's largest and longest running online community. If you'd like to post here, or reply to existing posts on TRIBE, you first have to register on the forum. You can register with your facebook ID or with an email address. Join us!

how do you know what you want to do?

Discussion in 'TRIBE Main Forum' started by Rosey, Mar 18, 2002.

  1. Rosey

    Rosey TRIBE Member

    career wise that is? i mean, how am i supposed to know what i want to be doing for money in 5 years?

    from one point of view i have wide ranging interests, from the other i never follow thorugh with things. my focuses and interests change from day to day and week to week. how the hell am i supposed to pick a career? if i pick something how do i know it's right?

    bah!
     
  2. PosTMOd

    PosTMOd Well-Known TRIBEr

    You don't until you've tried it.

    Choose, choose again. Keep choosing until you find something you can bear ;)

    Or, do like many, choose once, and even if you're not happy, put up a pretense, or become so scared to change that you just assume that that's as good as it gets.
     
  3. vinder

    vinder TRIBE Member

    Re: Re: how do you know what you want to do?

    quit talking about me behind my back timo!
     
  4. Mr_Furious

    Mr_Furious TRIBE Member

    some people never figure it out

    that's why they have *professional* students
     
  5. PinkAngeL

    PinkAngeL TRIBE Member

    I so desperately need to find a new one
    I don't know how much longer I can take working with hair and the public.
    *sigh*
    oh for that elusive I don't know what job........
     
  6. Adam Duke

    Adam Duke TRIBE Member

    You'll know your passion when you find it.

    @m.
     
  7. MoFo

    MoFo TRIBE Member

    Those who say they know what they want to do in 5 years are lying.
    Those who will be doing what they want in five years are lucky.
     
  8. joey

    joey TRIBE Member

    im pretty sure i know where i'll be in 5 years.. :)
     
  9. Rosey

    Rosey TRIBE Member

    that's the thing. i'm not passionate about anything. i never really have been.

    i think about things and it's sorta like: "i guess i could do that."

    i think i've pretty much figured out that i do nto wish to work for the government for the rest of my life. really that applies to most office jobs.
     
  10. MoFo

    MoFo TRIBE Member

    I believe that to be at least on the right path towards one's vocation, one has to try different things. Be drastic sometimes.

    I took a class, found out I loved photography. Now I'm majoring in it.
    I read my first Vogue, wanted to be in fashion.
    Listened to my friend's tape, started loving electronic music and raves.
    Took a counselor job during March Break on a whim, ended up teaching kids for 2 1/2 years.
    Now I'm trying to get a position working with landed immigrants, ESL students and underprivileged children at libraries and shelters.
    Heck, maybe (if I get this), it'll lead me into social work...

    The possibilities of being shaped or settling into a niche are endless. And let's say you do settle, life's too short to not try something else, learn something else...
     
  11. Mr_Furious

    Mr_Furious TRIBE Member

    I've thought about this a lot and this is the conclusion i've reached...

    Some people, just go about their entire lives like sheep. They live the idealisitc lifestyle (usually what their parents decide or just what they see as normal), and they carry it out to the best of their abilities. Go to elementry school, middle school, high school, university, get a job, get married, have kids....and then die....that's no way to live

    People like that aren't plagued with making decisions for themsevles because they don't even bother to think for themselves. I have a few friends that are Korean, and like most Koreans they have very strict parents. They're only concerned is making A LOT of money, so they can support their parents (everyone does in Korea due to the fact that there's no social assistance for the elderly). If you're a senior in korea and you don't have a family, you're gonna die unless you can work for yourself, because there's no welfare, no old age pensions....no breaks. That's why its so important to have kids and to make sure that you're kids make enough money to support you. That's why most traditional Korean parents want their kids to be doctors or lawyers. Even in Canada they still adapt to that lifestyle.

    I have a few pretty good female friends that are complete sheep in the way they go about their lives. One of them is only concerned about becoming a lawyer and doing whatever it takes to get there because that's what her parents want her to do, and after that...she HAS to get married. This is a complete necessity for her because she feels that this is required of her as a human being. She said if she doesn't find the right guy, she's just gonna settle for the wrong one. This other girl I know supports her family because that's what she's forced to do. So, her only concern is making as much as she possibly can in as little time as she possibly can, all the while being a complete victim to emotional and physical abuse, but not having the common sense to see the clear difference between right and wrong.

    Sorry, I got a little off topic there....but my point is that when you're free to make up your own mind about things, its more of a blessing, and you might never find a career that makes you happy, but then again you might, but in a couple years you might find that you wanna do something else......its all just a journey. like they say in the gatorade commercials....

    "Its not where you're going, its how you get there".


    "Knowledge of self is the only true means to the liberation of man" Denzel Washington
     
  12. MoFo

    MoFo TRIBE Member

    I just think it's really interesting how today, what we do for our careers dictates who we are and our futures. It's so sad to think that if someone just doesn't want to be a part of the cog and wheel of mass-consumption/capitalism, daily routine and the working status quo, he/she better be one lucky fuck who has rich parents or it's bread and a cardboard box for them.

    That's why so many rich kids become artists. Cuz they can afford to paint, take pictures, make indie films and STILL get recognized by the art critics and the art elite.

    I wish I was Jade Jagger or Sofia Coppola sometimes.
     
  13. Rosey

    Rosey TRIBE Member

    no you don't. cause then you'd never know if you woulda made it without being somebodies kid.
     
  14. MoFo

    MoFo TRIBE Member

    Whoa, I was JUST gonna use the same example of one of my parents' friends' kids.

    They made her cry for days cuz they forced her into medicine. They live in this HUGE mansion with a winding staircase and she gets driven to school in a limo sometimes.

    But her parents are fucked up. She's 19 or so now. Never has been on date, never stayed at someone's house, never had a job and has never eaten candy in front of her parents. She STILL sneaks chocolate behind her parents' backs.

    And now they're forcing her to study something she hates.
     
  15. MoFo

    MoFo TRIBE Member

    Sometimes it's not about talent. It's about getting your foot in the door.
    I mean, both these ladies are quite talented but it's the surroundings they were brought up in that helped them do what they wanted.

    Same with Stella McCartney. She was awesome before anyone knew she was Paul's daughter but her name gave her the chance to show people what she's got.

    I mean, politicians' children are also living it up as well. I know Jane Hawtin's daughter and she gets to host a tv show, travel the world and meet her mom's industry friends to get connections.
     
  16. rejenerate

    rejenerate TRIBE Member

    I'm in that very position right now...trying to figure out my next move. I quit my job 1.5 months ago, because I LOATHED it with a passion. I live at home, and my parents totally supported my quitting...they saw how unhappy I was. Take it from me, do not get stuck in a job you hate! I thought I had to "pay my dues" and that it would give me more opportunities and exposure to different careers than it did. And I thought it looked bad if I hopped around from job to job.

    But I've changed my thinking. I turn 26 on Sunday, and I will not settle for another job I dislike. Right now I'm meeting people, looking at my options, and tomorrow I'm seeing a career counsellor. She's told me what we're going to be doing, and it sounds very helpful...all kinds of those tests to help you figure out what you enjoy and what you're good at, resume writing, networking, how to find the jobs that aren't advertised, etc. She's expensive, but I know there are similar programs out there through the YMCA and stuff. If you're interested, I can let you know how it goes, and pass along her info if I think she's worth it.

    I'm quite sure I want to go into the music business...or at least arts/entertainment in some aspect. I think I have a pretty good idea that I'd enjoy PR/publicity and/or artist management. It's what my dad and my brother have done. :) I used to be shy about using their connections, but, no more! I realize I -need- them to get into the business. If my last name helps me land a job I'll enjoy, so be it. I'm not going to feel guilty about it again.

    best of luck,
    ~jen
     
  17. Lurch

    Lurch TRIBE Member

    Find a hobbie you like...........work a job that pays the bills........slowly turn your hobbie into your job.
     
  18. Guest

    Guest Guest

    Wen I grow up I want to be a principal or a catapiller.
     
  19. Rosey

    Rosey TRIBE Member

    *sigh*

    you see if i could work up the energy to hate my job the decision would be easy. but i don't hate my job, it just bores the fuck out of me. and i feel selfish saying i hate my job because it's boring. i guess i feel that being bored is kinda-almost a privilige.

    i mean aren't all (entry-level) jobs boring? maybe i should just suck it up and pay my dues, prove myself, and move up the ladder in a year? but how? i'm doing a job that uses less than 0.01% of my brain power on my busiest day, how am i 'proving' anything? (i work for the provincial government) and move on to what? junior policy analyst? maybe an executive assistant position somewhere? that would keep me busy, for sure, and it might be interesting, there are certain aspects of it that would definately be challenging. but do i want to do that? *meh* it wouldn't be the end of the world, the pay would be good and the benefits and security would be nice...but what the fuck is the point of it? making a mid-level management position after 20 years of sucking it up? it sounds bad, but what if it's my best option? i mean there are worse things. it would pay ~80K/year or more, depending. but what's the point? do i want to turn 30 and be a low/mid level civil servant?

    my initial reaction: CHRIST NO!!!!!
    my rational thought: it wouldn't be that bad, it's just a job, all jobs are sucky, think of the security, think of the pay, you could have your life on the weekends and evenings, you could take time off...maybe, someday. :(

    okay then, i'm 24 now. i have a BA in comp sci and english. i have a lot of work experience and good references. i put myself through school working all the time and i have no debt (of consequence). realistically i could probably get a better job then i have now with a couple of weeks of serious applications and shopping myself around. but would that really be any different from where i am now?

    if i really wanted to study something i could go back, do another year of undergrad to upgrade to an Hon BA, then do a master's in.....something? forestry? english? i dunno. i could be happy working as a forest conservation expert, i think. if i could get into the program. if i could get the degree. but i have faith in myself. i believe that if i set my mind to it, i could get it. but do i want to? really? i like the idea of working outside and with nature, but realistically, a guy with a masters in forest conservation sits in an office as much as any civil servant. and i would most likely end up back with the government in a different job, or working for a logging company (hard to feel good about that).

    or i could start an apprenticeship program 6 years after most people start it, work while i earn, bust my ass for 4 or 5 years, become an electrician, then who knows? would that make me happy? well, i wouldn't be sitting on my ass all day long. that would be worth something, maybe. idealistically i'd be building things, making things work, and there would be some satisfaction in that. i don't kid myself to think that i wouldn't find a lot of the same 'office job frustration' on a construction site. but eventually i would be pretty free to work on my own. i'd also have a practical skill that could get me work anywhere in the world and will never not be in demand. that's a good thing. i guess.

    i guess i'm just venting, i'm not really looking for answers from tribe. although i wouldn't mind hearing how other people have moved through similar situations. i've just got to figure it out for myself. and i think the sooner the better, i feel like i don't want to waste a single day more than i have to in a job that is wrong for me and not going anywhere.

    peace,
    -ross
     
  20. Cheeka

    Cheeka TRIBE Member

    my plan to figure it out.

    1. quit my job
    2. move across the world and hope that it makes sense when I get back a year or two later :)!

    I hope by then something will be clear... other then the fact I don't like to work which seems to be the only really evident thing for me right now!!
     
  21. mingster

    mingster TRIBE Member

    Ross, I feel the same way dude....

    I studied something that turned out to be more of a personal passion, and less something that I would enjoy working in. My job is boring as fuck, but I figure, hey everyone hates their job right. Wrong. That must be wrong. My mom loves her job. but she's in her fifties, and she tried lots of stuff before she found teaching....

    I have no idea what I want to do. I feel like I have no passions in which to direct myself towards a job. So, I'm willing to try anything....and some jobs will suck. Maybe, I'll stumble across a job that rocks! Something that I'll love! I know it sounds like a shity way to live your life, and believe me, I complain about it all the time. (Sorry to be so depressing).

    But I figure, it's life. Not everybody's, but mine.

    Hang in there. You're young. You'll find something. You'll figure something out. I know it's hard to watch others go in directions...but you're not so odd in your way of life. I'm there too. :)

    Ming.
     
  22. Preroller

    Preroller TRIBE Member

    Well, I'll try and give you some insight here Ross......

    For the forestry/outdoors part, I have been trying the same thing, sending letters to the MNR, and checking out differnt programs they offer. Most are for people 17-23 looking for summer work. I am older then that, so I asked if their was any extentions or other ones for older people and have gotten no response(they are on strike now) but that was two weeks ago sent out. I would tend to agree, that the forestry guy could be pretty bored, and lonely. What I'd like to get into is fisheries, you know, restocking, building spawning beds in gravel, studing habitats and soil effects, things like that, working towards building a better outdoors for our kids to enjoy. A buddy of mine took forestry at Sanford Fleming, and then went into mining up north, making MAD cash, now he does some of those huge contruction projects near TO, like those road overpasses, and shit like that, he really likes it. Since your a uni grad, maybe you could get into the design of these knids of things?

    OK the electrician part. My dad is a contracter, and has been for his whole life. He syas the way to go is to get into a trade, be it plumbing, welding, electrictain, tool and dye, they are all lucrative.
    He was a plumber for a good chunk of that, and worked for a company for ten years or so, then started his own company. He got out of residential jobs, now he basically installs, high pressure washers, gas lines, and water feeding lines in pig and cow barns. He can be as busy or not busy as he wants(really busy right now) there are sooo many new barns going up(costing Millions and millions to build) and my dad makes a nice portoion of that (30 - 40 ks on a big barn. and if he wants to take a month off to go to Costa Rica or Venezula or Mexico, or Europe or Arizona(he;s been to all the last 3 or 4 years), he can schedule his work that way. From what ive learned, you can do an apprentice for 3 years I think making ok coin 13- 14 bucks/hour, but after that you will esaly make 20 onwards for companies, more if you work for yourself, but more paperwork if your on your own.
    And youtr own business has lots of taz breaks, and if you get a good accountant, you can find lots of loopholes and breaks on taxes. Just don;t marry forign women and loose half like my dad also did :(

    Possible things that suck about this job: Cold outdoors in the winter, sore knees, if you work for a company, oyu can get stuck with poeple who are lazy, or don't want to work at any knid of pace, and people who are just plain dumb, who don't really jknow whats going on. That's why I think your own business is the wya to go, you do the hiring.

    one thing you might have to give up is clubing, unless you plan on being dead early, lottsa times my dad will leave at 4 in the morning to get to jobsites and weekends if needed. I found i was just pyhicaly exsausted at the end of the day, eat and lounge, go to bed at 9 or 10 at night.

    if you are really interested email me, I can give you lots of other info, hell you could prolly apprentice with my dad, And I know for a fact that the electricians are hurting for people too, I can hook you up with someone to talk to htere as well. Good luck Ross.
    Dave
     
  23. Jeffsus

    Jeffsus TRIBE Member

    I agree with PosTMOd.

    In short, if you don't know what you want to do in x years time from now, then it doesn't matter: Just choose what you want to do now, and don't be afraid to change what you're doing if (and when) your preferences change. If you don't know what you want to do now, then choose anything: it doesn't matter.

    Change is good. Embrace it.

    YAY.

    -jM
    A&D
     
  24. Bass-Invader

    Bass-Invader TRIBE Member

    Take it as it comes, and come whenever you can.
     
  25. Rosey

    Rosey TRIBE Member

    thanks guys :)
    in the past couple of hours, through writing that spiel and reading the responses, it has hit me that it is pretty much impossible to make a decision that is the 'right' one for five years from now. (what i mean is i knew that, but now i accept that)

    what i should do, what i have to do, is make a decision for right now. and i think that will mean trying my hand at some sort of construction/contracting for the summer. four or five months at that will be enough for me to figure out if i really want to do it. or if i'm kidding myself about wanting to do 'real' work.

    p.s. dave, could you PM me with your email address?
     

Share This Page